The True Confessions of Elizabeth Reynolds
by SailingAwaySoftly
Summary: If only life were so easy, but sixth year Elizabeth Reynolds knows it is not. Her life at Hogwarts is far from normal, especially now that she's galavanting around with the Marauders. But she always tries to look on the bright side. Eventual LupinOC.
1. There's No Place Like Home

**2nd of September, 7.24 **

I really have no idea why I'm writing... None at all. My mum thought that writing would be a good "outlet" for my "overactive" mind. Pfft. Mothers just don't understand these days. She shoved this bloody thing into my hands just before I boarded the Express yesterday. Honestly, does she think I'll have time to write now that I'm finally _home_? Off to breakfast... If I don't write again, don't be terribly surprised.

**7.38**

Alright, so I lied. I'm writing again. After I promised myself I wouldn't. I wish I had self-control. Lily is giving me a weird look... Probably wondering why I'm being so secretive. Yes, did I tell you? (Obviously not, looking back at what I wrote above this.) I'm working on my "secretive" look. You know, just in case I need to be secretive. Must go finish Ancient Runes assignment... Or something.

**Five minutes later or so**

Alright, so I'm not-so-rapidly working on my Runes assignment. Honestly. Don't know why I bothered taking that class. More boring than... I don't know what. I must ask Lily what is boring.

**7.59**

Lily gave me a weird look when I asked her what was more boring than Ancient Runes. Maybe I asked the wrong person... But I did manage to figure out the time. Anywugglies, she told me that Ancient Runes was a fascinating subject and that I should embrace the learning opportunities that Hogwarts has provided for me. Right, well. That's what I get for asking a muggle-born... Not that there's anything wrong with that... I mean, she introduced me to the... er... That what's-it thing that muggles watch. You know, the box? With the glass? And the little people inside it? Quite fascinating, really... Though I don't know why muggles just sit around all day watching little people in a box. Don't they have anything more interesting to do with their lives? I shall ask Lily.

**8.03**

Right. Erm, Lily told me that I should take Muggle Studies if I'm so interested in muggles and their behavior. But then she came to the realisation that I am, in fact, enrolled in Muggle Studies. Along with some of the Marauders. Oh, I haven't told you about them? Well, let's see. There's James Potter also known as Lily's Worst Nightmare Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong. She can't stand the boy, but, nonetheless, he pines for her. He really can be agreeable sometimes. Well, more so than Black. Mmhmm. That leads me to Marauder Number Two: Sirius Black. Known for, er... I don't know, actually. I just know that the majority of the female population at Hogwarts finds him attractive and desirable. I do not fall into that majority, and I find him quite _un_desirable... Well, he's a prat, either way! I think the longest he's had a girlfriend is, well... I'd guess about five days? I don't know. Then there's Remus Lupin. The most agreeable of the Marauders and he doesn't seem to maraud as much as James and Sirius. He's more interested in school, which Lily thinks is good. She tells me I should be more like him. (Like that's going to happen, Lils!) He can be quite peculiar, though. He goes to visit his mum every month. I guess she's sick, or something. And then, last (and most certainly _least_), there is Peter I-Forget-His-Last-Name. Doesn't really matter though. He's quiet and boring and just follows James and Sirius around... I bet he has a James and Sirius shrine. I'll ask them in Transfiguration... Speaking of, I should probably get there!

**8.17**

Just made it! Of course, now I'm stuck sitting next to Mr. Prat himself: Sirius Black. How did I manage that one? Let's ask him. (Hope you don't mind, but I suppose I'll let him write in here, seeing as I'm a nice person and all that rubbish...)

Sirius!

_... Yeah?_

How did I manage to be stuck sitting next to you? It's like in those muggle box-screen shows where the poor, innocent little girl gets stuck next to the mean bloke.

_Whatever have I done to you to make you think I'm mean? ... Is this a diary?_

No, it's not. And I think that you've er... Been quite mean to the female population of Hogwarts. And now you're changing the subject! Answer my first question!

_What's a "muggle box-screen show"?_

Changing the subject again! ... I don't know. Lily showed it to me at her house... It's this thing where little people are trapped inside and muggles watch it for entertainment or something.

_... You mean a television?_

How did you know that?! I didn't even know what it was called!

_Apparently, I pay more attention in Muggle Studies than you do, Reynolds._

... So? That was quite hurtful, and, dare I say it, unnecessary. I'm done conversing with you.

**8.20**

Didn't I tell you he's a prat?

**8.23**

I just got hit in the back of the head with a note from Potter... He's asking if this is a diary. Which it isn't. So, since I'm a mature witch of sixteen glorious years, I responded by drawing a picture of him being speared with a spork. Ha. That'll show him.

**After Transfiguration, En Route to History of Magic**

Well, Potter didn't know what I drew on the note. So I had to explain it. Which, ultimately, ruined the whole thing, because Black had to go and say that the drawing didn't look like James at all and that, whatever it was, looked like it was attached to a cucumber. I didn't ask for his opinion anyway, now did I?

I probably shouldn't be writing while trying to get to class...

**9.11, History of Magic**

... Falling asleep already...

_Hello, Ms. Reynolds. This is Professor Binns. I would much appreciate you not falling asleep in my class and actually taking notes like your friend, Lily Evans, does. Please see me after class to discuss your punishment._

**9.51**

I've resolved to drop (The Dreadfully Boring and Ultimately Useless) History of Magic class. But first I must serve a detention... With a ghost as my supervisor. Honestly, Professor Binns! What sort of teacher writes in their students notebook? I must alert the gang and what not about this... Did I mention that the Marauders also have detention with me? I think today truly is my lucky day.

**9.56**

Lily gave me quite the lecture on the way to Potions. "How can you sleep during class? You could at least pretend to look alert! Sometimes I wonder why I'm even friends with you! You can be worse than Potter!"

At this, I gasped. If I'm worse than James on occasion, that must mean I'm really bad.

"Lily, how could you say something so cruel?!"

Of course she quickly gushed an apology and says I'm nowhere near as bad as Potter. All lies, I tell you.

**10.16, in Slughorn's Hole of Boredom and Doom**

Lily, remind me again why I'm taking Advanced Potions?

_Because you did extremely well on your OWLs... Which, I must admit, was quite a surprise. Did you actually study for once?_

Yes! Of course I studied!

_Who payed you and how much?_

Gasp! I'm shocked you would think that I would have to be paid in order to study. And, for your information, Remus had asked me to study with him because, apparently, I have a gift for Potions and he does not.

_I thought you didn't really like the Marauders?_

That's you, love. Not me. I don't really have a problem with them. Except Black. He's ridiculous. Remus is quite fine, though.

_... Have you noticed he's been asking you to study with him quite a bit?_

Lily, that was last year. He hasn't asked me to study at all with him this year. Honestly-- there isn't anything _to_ study, now is there?

_Right, well... Oh look. A note from the table of Remus and Potter. You're quite popular today, aren't you?_

Shut it...

**10.19**

So, the note. You probably want to know what it says, don't you? Well, it was from my dear friend, Mr. Lupin. Actually, it was from Potter with a request from Mr. Lupin. Lily's responding to it. Even though I was the note's intended recipient, Lily feels the need to be my secretary and respond for me.

**10.22**

_You're studying with Remus tomorrow._

What for?

_Well, doing homework, I'd imagine. We did get an essay in History of Magic. Oh, I forgot... You were asleep._

How come I don't get to respond to my own notes? It was for me, from Potter. Not for you. If it was for you, he'd be asking you to go out with him.

_But, of course, the answer to that would be no. Besides, I know you secretly enjoy spending time with, oh, what did you call him? Your "dear friend, Mr. Lupin," was it?_

... You're a barmy bat. I hope you realise that.

_Why, thank you. You truly are a good friend._

**11.01, in Muggle Studies, Situated Next to Remus**

I'm getting more detailed about my whereabouts, aren't I? This I'm quite proud of. Soon enough, I shall be a great writer! Anyway, Potions was quite like it always is. Black and Potter managed to blow up their potion. Slughorn got mad. Did you see the little drawing I did of Slughorn? A very literal interpretation of the man, I must say. I suppose I'll have a chat with Remus since we're learning about that box-screen thing that Black told me was called a "veletision" or something... I don't feel like really looking for the word.

Hullo, Mr. Lupin!

_Are you actually taking notes? ... Oh, never mind. You're not. Did you just write "veletision"?_

... Er, yes... Isn't that what it's called?

_Look up on the board._

Oh! Ha. Television. Yeah. Right, well... I'm never going to own one.

_... What is that slug doing with a horn and a mustache? _

That's my literal interpretation of Professor Slughorn. D'you like it?

_It's charming._

Thank you! Wait- shouldn't you be taking notes? You're always taking notes! And now, you're not... You are conversing with me! Are you feeling feverish, Mr. Lupin?

_We're reviewing what we learned last year, Elizabeth._

... I knew that. I was wondering if you knew if Peter has a shrine for Sirius and James?

_I don't know... Why do you ask?_

Because he stalks them. And he seems like the type to have a shrine. You know, like a sock James wore during a Quidditch match or a spoon Sirius used at breakfast...

_I really don't know about that... I could ask him._

Or you could just look under his bed.

_... What?_

You know, maybe he keeps the shrine under his bed? That's where I'd keep a shrine if I had one. I think I shall investigate.

_How are you going to go about doing that?_

Easy: Go up to the 6th year boy dormitories, you're going to show me which bed is Peter's, and I'm going to crawl under there and see what I find!

_When did I volunteer to show you up to the dormitories?_

Just now. Besides, it'll be fun! I know you think Peter is strange. Everyone does. He's stranger than... Er...

_You?_

That's not fair! I'm not that strange. In fact, I can be quite normal when I care to be. See?: The television was invented by muggles in the year 1927 by Philo Farnsworth.

_Now you're just taking notes._

Oh, Lily tells me that you and I are going to work on an essay tomorrow. When's that going to happen?

_I was thinking after dinner, since that's when most people tend to work on their assignments for class. _

What's the essay about, then?

_Art, I think. Professor Binns didn't tell you after class?_

He was too busy giving me detention with you lot tonight.

_Ah, I see. Maybe if you payed_

Now you're sounding like Lily! Stop it or I shall ban you from writing in here!

_You let Sirius and Lily write in here._

Well, Lily is my best mate.

_Sirius isn't._

I was asking him a question.

_He said you two had a stimulating conversation._

... I think not. Good-bye.

_Do you really enjoy spending time with me?_

I thought I said we were done.

_I was just reading what Lily wrote._

Oh, well. Yes, you're a wee bit more enjoyable than the rest of the Marauders and sometimes Lily. You don't really bother me about not paying attention and such. Up until now!!!

_Well, you do tend to do anything in order to avoid getting things done._

Yes, but that is my nature. Honestly, am I really going to use all this muggle-knowledge anywhere outside this classroom?

_Probably not._

My point exactly. I only pay attention when the need arises. Like in Defense Against the Dark Arts... Or Transfiguration. Speaking of, I think I want to become an animagus...

_Oh?_

Yeah. I'll ask McGonagall about it.

_Why do you want to be an animagus all of a sudden?_

Because... My mum and dad told me I should show some dedication to something. And, wouldn't being able to turn into an animal at will be wicked?

_I suppose so..._

What time is it?

_11:40._

Yes! Class is almost complete! And then, LUNCH!

_Are you really that hungry?_

Quite hungry, indeed! Food is a gift! We must enjoy it and eat as much of it as humanly possible!

_You're reminding me of Sirius._

Don't say mean things like that, or I'll have to scratch out the part about you being my friend.

_Well, I'm going to pack my things up. Have fun, erm, writing to yourself._

I will!

**12.03, Great Hall, Next to Bridget**

So, I'm attempting a very daring feat: Insert foodstuffs into my mouth and write in here _at the same time_. Does that not shock and amaze? Lily is telling me I shouldn't eat so much food so quickly. Anne is busy glaring at Black. And Bridget is watching me in mild amusement. Perhaps I should be an entertainer?

**12.05, Great Hall**

I think Anne is going to burn holes in the back of Sirius' head... Wouldn't surprise me. But his "marvelous" hair would probably just cover up the unsightly holes and girls would still fawn over him. Have I yet confided why Anne hates Sirius so bloody much? It's actually quite simple really: They went out for about 3 days. Snogging and all that what not. And then, she caught him with another Bonnie Lass (I call her a BL because she's some Irish girl) and when he tried to explain his way out of the situation, he didn't even remember her name. Called her "Molly" or "Mary" or something like that... So, he was about... Er... 13 letters off alphabetically as to what her name started with. I'm sure if he'd addressed her as "Amelia" or "Alice" or some other name that began with 'a', her knickers wouldn't be in such a twist. Ah well. She is part of the gang, and thus I must support her burning hatred for Black. Which is why I don't particularly like him.

**12.07, Still in the Same Place**

Potter just waltzed over and asked Lily to Hogsmeade or something. She dumped her pumpkin juice on him and stalked off. Poor bloke. I told him he may join Bridget, Anne and I. He was busy moping about being rejected again. So, I tried to comfort him with, "She'll come 'round eventually, James. So, when does Quidditch practise start?" I always know how to make people feel better, don't I?

**12.53, Heading to Ancient Runes**

You have no idea how quickly I translated that assignment that I had all summer to complete. So what- I procrastinated. Who ever came up with homework over hols, anyway? Some barmy old bat, I'll bet.

**1.04, In Runes Classroom**

Decidedly want to switch to a school in Egypt. Maybe Runes would actually be relevant there...

**1.05**

And, as a bonus, there are mummies and tombs. Rather fascinating, really. I went back in 3rd year for hols with my mum and dad. My mum was quite bored and was paranoid about contracting some disease. My dad and I spent the whole time exploring. Did I tell you my father used to work as a Code Breaker? Now he works for the Ministry. Department of Mysteries. Doesn't really talk about it much, not that he's really allowed to, I don't think. Mum doesn't do much except fret over me constantly. I've already had 3 letters from her and I just arrived at Hogwarts last night.

**1.09**

Another bonus, I wouldn't get letters from my mum for at least a few days! ... What if Wuggles died of heat exhaustion, though? ... Can owls even succumb to heat exhaustion?

**1.11**

Decided that owls can die of heat exhaustion... But what about African swallows?

**1.13**

Are they migratory? ... I wonder. (It's from some show Lily and I watched at her house.)

**1.14, Still in Runes**

I think I'm really getting the hang of this "Not Paying Attention" business. Really, though, I've been doing Runes decoding since I was 5. My dad, the strange person that he was and remains to this day, forced me to do it. Not that I didn't like it. Runes fascinate me. But, honestly, while every other witch and wizard was learning to ride a broom, I was translating Runes.

**1.17**

Do you think that was a cruel thing for him to do?

**1.19**

Haha. Lupin's asleep already. I'm not going to let him forget it.

**1.20**

Just sent Remus a note and it whacked him in the head. Serves him right...

Except now he's glaring at me...

... I hope he still helps me search for Peter's shrine.

**1.25**

Remus wrote back. Told me I shouldn't be writing notes in class. How prefect-ish of him to say so. Look at him! He was just sleeping.

**1.29**

I must inform Lily that her fellow prefect was sleeping during Runes and that she should no longer abuse me about doing so.

**--------------------------------------**

Welcome to my first Harry Potter fanfiction. Obviously, I own nothing that was created by the brilliant, brilliant mind of Ms. J.K. Rowling. And, for those who don't know, the African swallows bit was from Monty Python. (But I'm sure you already knew that!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy and review.


	2. The Joys of Being Intelligent

**1.31, Still in Ancient Runes**

I desperately wish for class to be released early...

**1.34**

I wonder what it would be like to have an African swallow deliver letters and such... Perhaps I shall tell Professor Dumbledore that Hogwarts should start a new trend and, instead of owls, require students to correspond with those not attending school by way of swallows.

**1.37**

But what if a student wanted to send a package? Or a particularly lengthy, and thus heavy, letter?

**1.39**

Forget the switching to Swallow Delivery idea.

Let's pretend I never thought of that.

**1.43**

You cannot even begin to comprehend the extent of my boredom right now.

**2.00, In Divination with Bridget **

Yes... Look deep into the crystal ball... What do you see?

Ha. Right. Like I'm ever going to see anything besides Bridget looking back at me, desperately trying to un-fog her future.

**2.03**

I think I saw something!

... Oh wait. Never mind. That was just the reflection of some Hufflepuff's prefect badge.

**2.04**

I'm seriously considering dropping this class. Mum made me sign up for it. She thinks I have the "inner eye." I was only joking about dropping History of Magic earlier. At least that class is sort of easy. This is a bunch of

**2.07**

That was close. I had to quickly un-fog Bridget's future for Professor Looney-Bin. Really, I just described Bridget, but, luckily, no one seemed to notice. Not even Bridget... Poor girl. Sometimes I wonder if she would even recognise herself if she looked in a mirror.

**2.08**

She probably wouldn't. That's how sad her situation is.

**6.09, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table**

Sorry I haven't written for the past... Er... Four hours? I actually decided to pay attention (that phrase here meaning: catching up on the beauty rest that I deserve). But, seeing as it is dinner time, I have time to write. I have detention after this... I wonder- do ghosts eat? I think I'll ask Professor Binns.

**6.10**

Or not. He may just give me another detention with the Prat Pack.

**6.11**

That wasn't really fair of me to collectively call them prats. Remus isn't a prat. James is only sometimes a prat. Sirius is the King of Prats, though... And Peter, well... No one really cares about him anyways, now do they?

**6.12**

No, they certainly do not.

**6.17**

Lily thinks that all this writing is unhealthy for me. Bridget thinks it's quite entertaining to watch me write, because I make strange facial expressions. Well, I'm sure I do, but I would at least recognise someone describing me during Divination.

Ah, the joys of being somewhat intelligent.

Or having access to shiny, reflective objects.

**6.18**

Anne is complaining about Sirius' new love interest. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was jealous. Perhaps she still likes the King of Prats? Oh, that wouldn't be good. If that truly was the case, then that would lead to the conclusion that I didn't like Black merely because I believed that my friend hated him also, when, really, she quite liked him. That wouldn't really be fair to him. He can be alright, sometimes. Like during Quidditch practise. He's quite pleasant then. And, no, I do not mean that he is pleasant to look at.

**6.20**

Even though he really is. But, as I said, he is undesirable. I have no interest in joining his little fan club and stalking him and then dating him only to have my heart broken.

**6.22**

But, I doubt he would take interest in me even if I did participate in any of that foolishness. I've gone six years at this school without one relationship. Without even just one member of the male species being interested in me _at all_.

**6.23**

_Six years_.

**6.25**

I just asked Anne, Bridget and Lily if six years without one boyfriend is trophy-worthy. Lily rolled her eyes at me, saying that I should be happy that I don't have someone stalking me all the time. Anne didn't say anything and returned to glaring at Black. Bridget was the only one who thought I deserved a trophy.

**6.26**

I blame the fact that I've never really seen a functional relationship besides the one my parents have. But that doesn't count. Since they're old and also related to me. So, I suppose it is the gang's fault that I have been boyfriend-less for so long.

**6.27**

Not even one good snog.

**6.28**

I've decided that Merlin hates me.

**6.31, En Route to Detention avec Le Marauders**

Yes, Merlin hates me more than he hates, erm... Whatever it is he hates. Now I get to go to detention. I really hope that my parents don't hear about this... So, would you care to know how I was so cruelly torn from my leisurely dinner? Right, well, Black comes waltzing up to me with the rest of the Prat Pack (minus Remus and sometimes James) in tow. He must think he's quite the pretty piece of flesh, for he wiggled his eyebrows at me and asked if I was prepared for my detention with them. Then he pulled me up from my seat quite suddenly and began dragging me out of the Great Hall. So, here I am, my stomach not quite satisfied, on the way to detention.

**6.33**

Did I mention that detention doesn't officially begin until 7 o'clock?

**6.42**

Why we are so early, I have no idea. Binns isn't even here yet. Oh, here comes Remus. I shall refuse to actually speak with him and make him write. I'm quite cruel, aren't I?

**6.43**

_Why can't we just speak aloud like everyone else?_

Because, that is ridiculous! Besides, Black drops his eaves, or so I hear.

_Right._

So, when shall we go on our Shrine Hunt?

_Our what?_

You know: The Incredible Journey of Remus and Elizabeth in search of the Ever Elusive Shrine that Peter made for Sirius and James?

_Oh. __That__ journey. I don't know... When no one else is around to accidentally stumble upon you in our dorm is probably the best time._

When would that be? Hogsmeade?

_Probably._

Alright. Everyone else will go on their Hogsmeade trip and we shall hunt for the shrine.

_When is the next Hogsmeade trip? Or were you sleeping during that announcement too?_

I was a bit tired today! Besides, I know when it is. It's not this Saturday, but next.

_Okay, so it's a date then?_

_I didn't mean it like that!_

**6.47**

Remus isn't allowed to write in here until he stops blushing. Heh. I made Remus Lupin blush. But, honestly, he brought it upon himself, now didn't he? Alright, he's done blushing. I suppose I can respond now.

**6.48**

Done blushing then?

_I wasn't blushing._

So you were having a hot flash? Haha.

_I don't understand how you find yourself so amusing._

Because I am amusing. You don't even know the extent of my entertaining skills.

_Actually, I think I do. I've seen them in action._

Yes you have.

_Sorry that you were rudely pulled away from your dinner. I tried to persuade James and Sirius to wait until they were done eating... But they inhaled their food a bit faster than expected and seemed eager to annoy you._

It's fine. I'll just hop down to the kitchens after detention.

_Mind if I join you?_

Are you stalking me?

_No... I'm hungry. They didn't let me finish my dinner either._

Oh, I forgot that you are male and that you must eat all the foods your eyes see.

_... Was that supposed to be an insult?_

I'm not really sure, now that you mention it.

_Have I ever told you that I find you to be the oddest girl I know?_

Yes, I believe you have on several occasions. Is that why I've never had a boyfriend?

_Eh?_

Is it because I'm odd?

_I, er, really don't know, Elizabeth. We could ask Sirius. He'd probably have a multitude of reasons as to why you haven't had a boyfriend..._

That's a terrible idea! I think I'd rather not know, anyway. Because then I'd be worried about changing myself. And I quite like the way I am.

_Good for you._

Where's Binns? D'you suppose he'll make us write lines?

_Probably._

How monotonous... Just like his droning on about history. Pfft.

_History is interesting, though._

I know it is. I just wish that he taught it with some enthusiasm.

**8.03, Heading Off to the Kitchens with Mr. Lupin**

Remus is leading the way to the kitchens whilst I write. So, we had to write lines. Mine was "I will not sleep during class." Easy enough. Except now I have a hand cramp. Which is making it painful to write. Ah well. It happens to the best of us, doesn't it? Anyway, earlier I asked Remus if ghosts eat. Apparently they don't. He thought it strange that I would ask such a question. I'm a curious person, what can I say? So, the kitchens seem to be an awfully long way away... Maybe Remus doesn't really know where he's going. He is being awfully quiet. I shall ask if he needs directions.

**8.13, Almost Arriving at the Destination**

Turns out Remus knew where he was going the whole time. He lost me for a bit, though. He turned a corner and didn't tell me to turn, so I kept going straight. Yes, I really should pay more attention while I'm walking, shouldn't I? But now he's looking over my shoulder reading what I'm writing. REMUS I-DON'T-KNOW-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME LUPIN IS THE BIGGEST PRAT ON EARTH. (That's what you get for reading over my shoulder, Mr. Lupin!)

**8.17, Kitchens**

Remus apologised for reading over my shoulder. I apologised for calling him a prat and told him that he's quite the opposite of a prat. Which made him blush again. I may have asked him why he blushed so much. And he may have responded with, "I'm not blushing!" Of course. Typical male behavior.

**8.18**

Remus tells me that I must stop writing in here. At least for now, because he feels he is being ignored. Poor boy. Always has to have the spotlight.

**8.41**

Hullo again, Mr. Lupin. Long time no, er, write?

_Why can't we just talk normally, you know, like we JUST WERE._

Because. Humour me, please.

_Alright. _

So, how are you today? Anything eventful occur?

_I'm well. Besides getting detention on the first day back and being forced to write rather than speak aloud, nothing eventful occurred. You?_

I've been lovely. I still can't believe you fell asleep during Runes. That wasn't very prefect-like of you...

_I was tired._

Ha! Excuses, excuses. You still fell asleep!

_You're never going to let me forget it, are you?_

Probably not.

_You realise that this is a relatively small notebook, don't you?_

Aye, aye!

_... Right. But you're going to use up the pages quickly with this nonsense._

It's not nonsense! It is filled with my intelligent thoughts and innermost feelings.

_Is it?_

Indeed it is.

_Let's see if you've finally admitted to fancying Sirius, then._

... Did you just skim through everything I've written so far?

_Yes. Didn't find anything about you fancying Sirius, though. Quite the opposite. Although you think he's attractive during Quidditch practise. _

See? I was being honest with you when I said I didn't particularly care for the bloke. I don't understand why people don't believe me more often. I'm mostly honest and usually correct. But, nooo, let's ignore Elizabeth because her parents are barmy old bats.

_Your parents aren't barmy old bats. _

You don't even know my parents!

_Actually, I met them at Flourish and Blotts three or four years ago, remember? _

Oh, right... Which ultimately has led to the new tradition of meeting up at Fortescue's for ice cream and then getting all of our school rubbish...

_Yes. But I quite like your parents._

They're still barmy.

_Well, your mum may be a little bit, but your dad's entertaining._

I get all my skill from him.

_What does your dad do at the Ministry, again?_

Department of Mysteries.

_Ah, I see. That's fascinating._

I suppose. I'll get to take over the job when he retires. But, until then, I'll probably be forced to intern there.

_That's a dangerous job, you know._

I know. Maybe I'll travel like my dad did before he had to take over the post...

_You're just going to travel?_

... Yes. There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe I'll write books or something.

_You're going to write books now?_

Stop being so critical, Remus Lupin! What are you going to do, then?

_I'll take any job they'll give me._

You have some pretty ambitious plans, don't you? I'm only joking. You'll be getting job offers left, right and centre. Don't worry about it, good sir!

_Hmm..._

What?

_Bridget was right when she said you make odd facial expressions when you write._

So?

_Nothing. Just thought I'd point it out to you._

Well, thank you very much. D'you want to head back to the Common Room, then?

_Sounds good._

**9.19**

I probably won't write anything again until tomorrow... Maybe not even tomorrow. Or the day after that even... Surely I will be back to you by the time of the Hunt for the Shrine. Cheers and love.

**3rd of September, 7.31, Sitting with the Marauders**

So, I'm here only because the gang decided to play Truth or Dare before bed last night. Of course, I had to be the stupid girl that I occasionally can be and pick Dare. And so, here I am.

**7.32**

Anne, Bridget and Lily keep laughing at me every time they glance down the table. Ah well, I made Anne give Sirius a kiss, so, I suppose I deserve this.

**7.34**

Have I ever mentioned how annoying I find Peter Not-Pedigree? He keeps looking at me anxiously. He looks like he may wet himself or something. Now that would be an amusing sight. A Marauder wetting himself. Although he doesn't really count as a Marauder, I don't think. He's just a worshipper who somehow managed to earn the sympathies of Black and James. I suppose I could ask them.

**7.40**

Peter left for the loo. I think I may have embarrassed him because I asked Black if the bloke always looked on the verge of wetting his trousers. O' course, everyone except Peter laughed at my hilarious question. Well, Sirius more so barked about it, James spurted his drink across the table in Peter's general direction, and Remus chuckled. See? Didn't I tell you I was of an entertaining sort?

**7.44**

Decidedly, sitting avec Le Marauders isn't so bad. This is a pretty easy dare. Though I shouldn't tell the gang that. Next time they'll make me sit on someone's lap for sure.

**7.45**

Black is laughing at me. Apparently, I just said the "sitting on someone's lap" bit aloud.

**7.46**

Black is asking me if I'd like to sit on his lap, because he claims he's quite comfortable.

... Should I?

**--------------------------------------**

Yes, this is a bit more fun to write than my Pirates fic (which I will eventually post updates for). Anywuggles, I hope you've enjoyed the second installment of the "Confessions of Elizabeth Reynolds." All things that you recognise from Harry Potter are, of course, Jo Rowling's and hers alone. I've merely borrowed them. Whatever you do not recognise is mine. Review, won't you?!


	3. Far Too Much Winking

**7.56, En Route to Defense Against the Dark Arts (Almost There)**

I sat in Black's lap. I am Master/Mistress (whichever way you care to toss it) of the Truth or Dare game. I went above and beyond my dare. Ha. The gang went bonkers. Anne's eyes seemed to pop right out of her head, Lily dropped her eating utensil, and Bridget gaped. Oh yes. Elizabeth Reynolds sat in Sirius Black's lap.

**7.58, Defense Against the Dark Arts**

And I think I may have been distressing him because I kept squirming around. Not that it's my fault. James kept launching cereal at me and then I'd duck, because, for once, I'm having a fabulous hair day, and I didn't want to have to fuss with my hair again. So, Black got hit in the face. It was quite amusing, actually. Because then the cereal would have a weak ricochet and land on my back and roll down. So, when I finally climbed off of his lap, he had a lap-full of cereal.

**8.21**

Black keeps winking at me from the next table over. He must think we have some sort of "thing" now. I must address the situation in Charms later.

**10.48, Charms, Sitting Next to Black**

Oi, Black!

_Yes?_

Will you stop winking at me already?

_No, I don't think I will._

Why ever not?

_Don't know. Does it bother you, Elizabeth?_

Since when have you called me Elizabeth?

_Since I decided that you can be cute sometimes._

When did this happen?! Over-night?! In your hormone-driven dreams?!

_Could be. I think you may find yourself holding a Marauder position soon._

Why?

_Did you see Peter's face when you asked if he always looked like he was going to "personally wet himself"?_

Yes...

_It was classic! Imagine the things you could do to verbally humiliate Snivillus!_

Ah, true. I feel an evil smirk coming on.

_... That was your evil smirk?_

... Yes...

_It wasn't very evil. It just looked like you were smiling, except you weren't showing your teeth like you usually do._

Right. Well, adding "work on evil smirk" to my To Do list now.

_We could probably get the Slytherins to teach you how it's done._

Oh yes. I could ask your brother to teach me. He seems to have it perfected, last I noticed.

_... No._

I was only joking.

_Are you going to sit with us from now on then?_

... I only did it for a dare, Mr. Black.

_So?_ _And don't call me "Mr. Black."_

Well, then... Why should I sit with you lot instead of the gang, Mr. King of Prats?

_I don't like that name either. But I'm sure we Marauders are less gossip-y about things. _

I'll think about it. The most I could probably tolerate your ego is one meal a day. Otherwise I'd probably feel the need to throttle you.

_That wasn't very kind of you, Lizzie. What meal, then?_

Breakfast.

_Why not lunch or dinner?_

Because, at lunch the fan club swarms and at dinner I have to catch up with the gang.

_Right. Breakfast it is. There will always be a seat reserved for you._

Don't make me sit by Peter Blah-Blah ever again.

_... Do you not know his last name?_

As a matter of fact, I do not.

_Pettigrew, you twit._

Fine!

**8.01, In the Library, At a Table**

So, I'm supposedly working on the History of Magic essay that was assigned yesterday whilst I was sleeping. I've actually done some of the essay, and, at this very moment, Remus is looking up information about the magical art of Hogwarts. (Yes, I now know what the essay is supposed to be about.)

**8.03**

Oh Merlin. He's brought back a huge stack of books. "Do you actually expect me to read through all that?" I asked him. Apparently, I don't have to, because he claims to have perfected some spell that will automatically turn to the pages that would be most useful for us. Load of bullocks, I say, but, you know, that's merely one witch's opinion.

**8.53, Sitting at a Table in the Library, Watching Remus Putting Books Away**

Finally finished the essay! After much slaving over books, we finally found enough material to fill up the scroll. And I actually had to read! Can you believe it? I couldn't either. But Remus made me read since the spell didn't work. And I did it. My mum would be so proud. I actually feel like owling her about it. But I probably shouldn't because I really didn't read of my own volition. Remus sort of had to bribe me with chocolate to actually start reading. I suggested that we just write in a large script, but somehow he knew that one of my weaknesses is chocolate and, as it turns out, he always has some chocolate with him. So, here I am, contently nibbling away at the piece of chocolate Remus gave me while he returns the books to their cozy homes.

**8.56, En Route to Gryffindor Common Room**

Remus is being quiet, as per usual. Actually, one could say nothing was out of the ordinary at the moment except that Remus feels the need to HOLD ONTO MY ARM. I don't know why. He didn't do that last time we wandered around together. (When we went to the kitchens, you know. Don't go thinking naughty thoughts!) I will ask him why he is doing so.

**8.58**

So, the reason for holding onto my arm is so I don't end up going in a different direction like last time. I have to admit, this kind of bodily contact with Remus is a bit awkward...

**8.59**

Which is strange. Because, earlier, when I sat in Black's lap, I didn't feel awkward... Me sitting there should be quite a bit stranger than Remus innocently guiding me to the Common Room, shouldn't it? I mean, Sirius Black is Resident Sex God at Hogwarts. And I am Resident Spaz Goddess. Oh, goodness. Did I mention all the questioning I got at lunch? Oh yes. That was quite special. All the ladies were panicked that I was interested in Black now since I sat on his lap. I told them I was just going above and beyond the Dare, thus, I deserve an Outstanding in the Truth or Dare game. I also get to harass Bridget first in tonight's round.

**9.07, In Sixth Year ****Girls'**** Dormitories**

Made it to the Common Room without getting lost or any other mishaps. Currently on my bed, waiting for Lily to come out so we can begin the game. I shall recount the results in History of Magic tomorrow when I'll be too busy not really paying attention to actually pay attention. (This time, I will not fall asleep!)

**4th of September, 9.32, History of Magic, Sitting Next to Black (Yet Again)**

Ah, I still remain the Queen of Truth or Dare. The dare I had to complete today was sit in Black's lap again and spoon-feed him his breakfast. He wasn't so adverse to the dare once I explained it to him. He's still winking at me, though. And he kept calling me disgustingly cute names which made me want to spew. But it was quite fun missing his mouth, thus causing the porridge to dribble down the side of his face onto his shirt front. He was quite good-natured about the whole thing, and I must applaud him for it. The awkwardness that was there between Remus and I last night is now between Sirius and I. Even though he won't stop winking! I suppose it's just awkward for me then...

**9.35**

At least Remus didn't/doesn't wink at me all the time.

**9.36**

Maybe it's just a nervous twitch of his?

**9.37**

No, never mind. It's intentional. He can be such a prick sometimes.

**9.39**

STOP IT!

_Stop what?_

Winking at me! It's going to drive me insane!

_Oh, sorry love. _

That is the most you can say? "Oh, sorry love"?!

_... What more am I supposed to say?_

Well, I don't know! Something more elaborate would be nice. Oh, but I forgot, you're Sirius Orion Black. You know, now that I look at that, I have to ask: Does your mum have some odd obsession with Astronomy?

_I hope you've notice that I'm glaring at you._

I have noticed. And glaring certainly doesn't convince me that you are attractive. In fact, you look quite unattractive whilst glaring.

_Keep telling yourself that, dear. _

Winkity-wink-wink.

**9.46**

Certainly far too much winking for one morning. I think he's mad that I winked at him by way of paper and ink. Quite clever of me, I think. Sirius doesn't seem to agree, because he keeps sending me glares, although it looks like he's trying very hard not to laugh. I suppose my face is entertaining. Alas, I can't help if the boy has a deranged sense of humour.

**10.23, Advanced Potions, Beside Remus, Supposedly Taking Notes**

I just thought of the funny show that Lily and I had watched at her house over hols. You know, on the tevelision, or whatever it's called...? Right.

**10.39**

Fetchez la vache!! Ahahahahahaha. I cannot stop laughing. Slughorn has asked me to share with the class.

**10.41**

I just yelled "Fetchez la vache" so Slughorn, who was situated at the front of the classroom, could hear me. The whole room erupted into fits of laughter. Even Slughorn smiled (or maybe his mustache has a life of its own), and he told me to just pay attention. Yes! No detention for me. Black and Potter have given me the thumbs-up.

**10.43**

Lily has turned around in her seat and is now glaring at me, her face almost as red as her hair. She knows where the line is from. Remus is struggling to hold in laughter, because I just wrote "Fetchez la vache" over all the notes he'd carefully taken. You see, if I had done that to Lils, she would have me thrice murdered and brought back to life then she would've hexed me into the next century and back. At least some people enjoy my entertainment.

**10.46**

Just sketched a picture of me catapulting a cow at Slughorn (in all his glorious slugginess), Peter (protectively guarding his shrine), and Professor Binns (trying to eat a cake). Haha.

Remus, look at my drawing! Isn't it great?

_Oh yes. But it's missing something..._

What?

_Fetchez la vache!_

Ahahahaha! Remus, I love you sometimes!

**10.48**

There he goes blushing again. Poor boy.

**--**

Well, third installment. I hope you enjoyed it. Of course, you surely recognise all the wonderful things that J.K. Rowling has created and those happen to be all hers. Everything else is mine... Except the bit of "Fetchez la vache," that's totally Monty Python. Review, please and thank you!


	4. Lifestyles of the Rich and Hilarious

**10.50, Still Beside the Slightly Red Remus, Advanced Potions Almost Over**

If I had a galleon for every time Remus blushed, I'd be rich, I think...

**10.51**

Blimey-- I'm capable of thought? Haha. Amusing myself again. Don't you get it? "I'd be rich, I think" Oh Merlin. I think I am having one of those "natural high" moments. Whatever that means. Lily's barmy sister, Petunia, used the phrase when I visited. She wasn't terribly nice... Come to think of it, who would name their child such a crap name? Pe-tuuu-niiii-ah.

**10.52**

Ni! She has "ni" in her name! Merlin bless her!!

**12.17, Great Hall, Filling Stomach with Lunchtime Treats**

I apologised to Lily about causing such a "scene," as she called it, in Potions. Although it was quite a laugh! I think she muttered something about regretting showing me whatever it was called.

**12.32, Gryffindor Common Room**

Finished lunch early and decided to have a lie-down on the couch that I never actually get to enjoy. I'm feeling sleepy now...

**12.59, Ancient Runes, Next to Bridget, Awaiting Class to Commence**

I bet you thought I fell asleep. Well, I didn't. I simply lounged about for approximately 15 minutes. I resisted the urge to sleep. But I feel quite energized now and ready to do some decoding!

**1.09**

I have just been partnered with Mr. Lupin for a partner-decoding in-class assignment. Which is alright, I suppose. So long as he actually stays awake today, unlike last time.

**1.32, Finished with Decoding, Time to Converse**

_Hello._

Hey Remus!

_You're very cheery. Normally you're exhausted after lunch._

Well, I had a small lay-down in the Common Room before coming to class and I am now refreshed!

_... I think you may have issues._

Oh, yes. I know. My mum feels the need to make long, detailed lists about my issues. Does your mum do that?

_No... Are you joking? Your mum doesn't really make lists, does she?_

Actually, I think she does. I found one once.

_I'm sorry._

Don't be! It isn't your fault. Want to know what was on the top of the list?

_Not really..._

Of course you do! Anyway, here it is: Lacks a proper relationship with a male.

_... Are you serious?_

No, but your friend is. Haha!

_I know you would like to believe that I found that funny, but I honestly didn't. Still, was that really at the top of her list?_

I'm sorry that we don't always share the same sense of humour. And, yes, it truly was "Numero Uno," as the Italians say!

_What does she mean, do you suppose? You're mates with me and James. And Sirius too. _

She doesn't mean a mate-y mate type relationship. She means a real relationship. You know, with the whole boyfriend thing and the snogging and all that other whatnot.

_Ah. _

... Man of few words, eh?

_Well, what do you expect me to say to that? I thought you had a boyfriend last year...?_

No. That was a well plotted-out rumour... Or not. But, either way you toss it, no boyfriend here.

_Oh... But Sirius and James and other people always said you were sneaking off to the Library to go study with whoever it was._

... Are you really that thick?

_No, I'm not. I'm just curious._

I think, for once, Sirius and James managed to pull one o'er your eyes, Remus!

_What are you going on about?_

It was you I was "sneaking off" to study with last year, remember? We studied all the time together before OWLs.

**1.45**

He's still blushing... Oh yes, I'd be quite the rich witch. (Try saying that ten times fast!)

**1.47**

I could be featured in that Witch Weekly column, er, what's it called? Lifestyles of the Rich and... Erm, well... For me, they'd especially rename the column "Lifestyles of the Rich and Hilarious."

**8.26, Gryffindor Common Room, Stomach Completely Satisfied**

So, I was trying to read, when Sirius came bounding over and just sat on me. Asked if I was going to Hogsmeade next weekend. Obviously, I'm not because Remus and I are hunting for the Shrine, but I couldn't tell him that. So I told him I was planning on it. And he asked if I'd like to come with him, since I'm "going alone." (He just made that assumption on his own.) Much lying ensued and I told him I was already going with someone and didn't want to be seen with the King of Prats in such a pleasant place as Hogsmeade.

**8.31**

Now he's sulking. I can almost see the little rain cloud above his head.

**8.32**

Wait, I _can_ see the little rain cloud over his head! And it's about to start pouring rain over his perfect hair...

**8.34**

He's getting drenched will torrential downpour.

**8.35**

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day... Ahahaha.

**8.36, Impressing Self with Skills**

I'm better at Charms than I thought! I must tell Lily that I managed to conjure a rain cloud and that I also made it relieve itself over Sirius' head.

**5th of September, 7.01, Great Hall, Breakfast Time, Next to Remus, Across from James**

Breakfast with the Marauders. Joy. They are quite funny, though. I'm now privy to their plans to sabotage Snivillus (as they so lovingly call Severus Snape). I have yet to be officially initiated into the exclusive group, but I have a feeling, whatever the initiation is, it'll either involve pranking or snogging.

**7.04**

Oh, right. I forgot to mention why snogging would be part of the initiation. Black's convinced himself that we're going to Hogsmeade together, though I clearly remember rejecting him last night. He quickly "forgave" me for the rain cloud incident, even though I didn't apologise. But, the snogging. James warned me that Sirius fancies a snog with me. A great, huge snog.

**7.05**

And I don't want to snog him. Seriously, I don't want Sirius Black to be my first snog-ee! How crap would that be?

**7.06**

... "Seriously"... "Sirius"... "Sirius-ly"... That's quite hilarious, that right there.

**7.07**

The thought of snogging Sirius is distressing me now. I can't even properly enjoy my breakfast or the fact that I'm not stuck sitting next to Peter!

**7.08**

I'm going to consult Remus on the matter...

As soon as he manages to swallow the huge piece of toast he just shoved into his mouth.

**7.10**

I have no idea how you didn't choke on that piece of toast...

_To put it into terms __you__ would understand: I have skill._

Don't steal my phrases, Mr. Lupin!

_Alright._

Right, the point of this silent exchange: I'm quite distressed about Sirius wanting to snog me.

_So I've read..._

Who gave you permission to just read whatever you want?

_Don't know. _

Oh well. So, does he really want to snog me, or was James just being a prat?

_Well..._

Remus, tell me!

_He does. _

... That's not good, though!

_I thought you'd be ecstatic._

You've got to be joking. I don't care for Black in that way. In fact, I hardly care for the bloke at all!

_Most girls would be delighted._

I'm not most girls, now am I?

_I know you're not, I'm just saying..._

If you were a girl, would you want your first snog to be with Sirius?

_Firstly, I'm not going to even answer that question since it's wrong in so many different ways. And, secondly, what do you mean "first snog"?_

... Remus, in the time that you have known me, which is about six years, have you ever seen me in a relationship?

_Not really, no._

Exactly. So, in that case, how d'you propose that I have snogged someone before?

_I don't really know... But I didn't even mean the question like that! I just meant that I couldn't believe you haven't, well, you know..._

Snogged? Been kissed? Nope, I have not. Ask the gang. They know all about my woes.

_In that case, I'll advise Sirius against chasing after you._

Great! Wait- were you advising him to chase after me before this conversation?

_No, James was. Though once he hears this news, he'll advise Sirius against it also. _

I'm not sure whether to thank you or smack you upside the head.

_I'd prefer to just be thanked, if I have any say in the matter._

**10.51, En Route to Charms**

Everyone admires me now. People keep yelling at me, "Oi, Reynolds/Elizabeth/Lizzie, FETCHEZ LA VACHE!" Apparently, it's the new phrase that people just can't stop saying! Not that I blame them at all, it is quite fun to shout.

**10.55, Caught Up with Lily, Still En Route to Charms Classroom**

Especially if you are saying it for no apparent reason at all!

**11.38, Charms, Not Paying Attention Due to Loud Stomach Growling**

So hungry... Potter came up to me right before class began and asked if I really hadn't been snogged before. I suppose I trust him to some degree and I confirmed what Remus had told him.

Ooh, a note! ... From Potter. My special day, I assure you (with no sarcasm dripping from those words _at all_).

**11.40**

It says, "I know someone who wants to snog you." Right. Like anyone besides Sirius wants to. (That's what I wrote back to him, though not in those exact words.)

**11.42**

He wrote back... "It's not Sirius."

**11.43**

Oh Merlin, help me!

**11.44**

What if James is just making it up?

**11.45**

No, he wouldn't just come up with something like that... He isn't that smart.

**11.46**

Who could it be? Who could it be? Who could it be? Who could it _bloody_ be?!

**12.13, Great Hall, Lunch**

Discussing possible blokes. So far, there's Black. (Anne's suggestion- she thinks James is just lying about there being someone else.) And then Remus. (Two votes for him being the one from Lily and Bridget.)

**12.15**

Lily- why do you think it's Remus? (I'm documenting this important conversation!)

_Because, of all the Marauders, you two always seem to be off in your own little worlds together. Then there was last year when you two kept studying with each other. Everyone knew that wherever one was, the other would surely be studying. Plus, I don't think anyone has ever heard him say anything against you. Which has got to be a good thing, because you are easily the craziest witch I've ever met._

Alright, so there's Lily's opinion. Crap opinion, if I do say so myself.

**12.19**

Bridge, why do you think that the potential snog-ee wannabe is Mr. Lupin?

_You two spend an awful lot of time together, is all. And you ought to see the way he looks at you sometimes. It's like in the movies... Wait, you don't know what movies are, do you? Let's see, erm... It's like in those plays you go to with your family. Where the bloke secretly longs for the girl, and the girl longs for the boy, but both are too thick to do anything about it! And you two always seem to be sitting with each other or partnered up. It's as if Fate is telling you to make with the Magic of Love and snog already! _

... Lovely opinion there, Bridgey-Widgey.

_Wait! Can I add something else? _

Sure.

_Loads of people think you two should be together._

You know I don't care about what other people think about me, don't you?

_I know. Are you going to ask Anne's opinion?_

No, because she doesn't trust James and just thinks that it is Sirius. In which case, we already know he desires me.

_Oh, alright then. Toodles!_

**12.33, Heading to Divination**

It just can't be Remus. I mean, he's easily the best male friend I have! So, it just can't be him!

**1.32, In Divination, Glaring Beyond the Crystal Ball at Bridget**

Bridget just told the professor that she'd seen my future, and that I was holding hands with Remus Lupin.

**1.33**

I failed to mention that Bridget got congratulated on such a clear description of what was to come.

**1.35**

The only way to find out is to ask Sirius or James. That's what I'll do.

**1.36**

But it'll have to be James, because Sirius may just try to snog me...

**1.37**

But what if he doesn't tell me anything helpful? Who do I go to then?

**1.38**

... I could just ask Remus about it.

**1.39**

What am I thinking? That would be the worst thing I could possibly do!

**7.36, Lounging in the Gryffindor Common Room**

I can't believe I'm going to ask James... Someone must've used the Imperius Curse on me...

**7.42, Just Stalked Up Stairs to Dormitory, Sitting on Bed**

What a prat! So, I asked James in a very, very casual way who this other snog-ee was. He said, and I quote, "Sorry, Lizabeth, sworn to secrecy."

**7.44**

I can't believe him. Dangling made-up information in front of my face like that.

**7.46**

I still don't know if he just made it up, though...

**7.48**

I suppose he really could've been telling the truth.

**8.16, Still on Bed**

I've decided that it can't possibly be Remus. He's just a friend and he thinks of me in a completely mate-type way.

**8.33**

At least that burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

**8.34**

I am just going to forget the whole "Remus Love Theory" (as Bridget and Lily have dubbed it).

**--------------------------------------**

Well, there's chapter four! I hope you enjoyed it. And I'm glad that people have liked the story so far! (I didn't disappoint with this chapter, did I?) Continue to keep reviewing and such as it's great! Anyways, the Harry Potter Universe belongs to the brilliant mind of Jo Rowling. "Ni" and "Fetchez la vache" belongs to the equally brilliant minds of Monty Python. I'll try to update soon, but life is getting hectic and such. Until next time, cheers and love.


	5. Spelling is an Odd and Useless Thing

**9th of September, 7.19, Great Hall, Breakfast Time, Stuck Next to Peter**

So, I haven't really written for awhile... Terribly sorry about that. I'm sure you need to be filled in on all the goings-on in my life. Actually, even _I_ need to be filled in on some things. So, firstly and most importantly, I have pushed this other Potential Snog-ee (PS) to the back of my mind. Whomever it is, I don't care anymore. Of course, Lily and Bridget are quite fixed on the PS, insisting that he is in fact my good friend Mr. Lupin. Secondly, Saturday and Sunday were quite boring. I had to work on a constellation chart for Astronomy and then I owled my mum and dad to let them know that I made it to Hogwarts in tip-top condition and that the house elves aren't starving me. So far the letter count from Mum for this week totals to a lovely, even number of 8. She's barking mad most of the time. Why can't she just write all her old lady thoughts down in one convenient letter rather than waste as much parchment and ink as possible? Besides, I think Wuggles and Leonidas are getting quite exhausted with all this trekking from our house in the Lake District and back. (Leonidas is my dad's owl- he likes Greek history, what can I say?) Right, moving on. The Shrine Hunt begins this Saturday, which reminds me that Remus and I need to come up with the best strategy/plan possible! (Note to Self: Make Shrine Plan avec Remus.) Last, and not least, I've actually had all the classes that I signed up for now. Favourite has to be either Astronomy or Transfiguration. Least favourite: Divination.

**8.36, Transfiguration, Next to James**

Hullo, Jamie!

_Must you call me that?_

Yes.

_Fine. So, have you yet decided who the other snogger is?_

No bloody clue. Actually, I've resolved to just forget about the matter.

_That's surprisingly mature of you._

What do you mean?

_Knowing you for as long as I have, I'd figure that you'd be fixating on it as much as possible._

Lily and Bridget have busied themselves with that business.

_Really? My Lily Flower?_

Don't call her such sweet names in my presence please. But yeah, that's what those two have been doing.

_Who've they decided on then?_

Remus Lupin.

_Ah, I see. That's quite interesting. What's their reasoning behind that conclusion then?_

Apparently he and I spend a lot of time together, especially since end of term last year. And we're always partnered up or something of the like. I don't know.

_How do you feel about that?_

About what?

_That you and Moony are always partnered up together? _

Bridget thinks it's a sign from Fate. I think it's just chance. Besides, Remus is a friend to me.

_So?_

Well, since he's a mate and all that, he can't possibly like me in that particular way.

_Say that Sirius is your friend..._

... Alright...

_He fancies you._

Sirius doesn't count. He fancies anything wearing a skirt.

_Good point. _

Can I at least have a hint as to who it may be?

_I thought you were above such childish things._

I still want to know!

_Well, I still can't tell you._

**8.49, Transfigurations Over**

James is a barmy bat. Honestly, he's like the annoying brother I never wanted.

**11.19, Muggle Studies, Next to Bridget**

Proving a point to Bridge: I'm not always sitting with Remus. Even though I really want to be so we can plan our Shrine Hunt. Ooh- we actually get to pick partners for once!

**11.23, Partnered Up with Remus, Ultimately Proving Bridget's Point**

_What point is Bridget trying to prove?_

Nothing of your concern, Remus!

_I take it we won't actually start decoding things until about five minutes before we're supposed to hand our transcriptions in?_

Exactly! You're quite smart, you know.

_I know. So, what will we be doing instead then?_

We need to plan our Shrine Hunt Strategy!

_Elizabeth, it's Tuesday._

Yes, I know that. Why are you telling me?

_Because, that means we have Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to come up with a plan. It's not like we're trying to infiltrate the Ministry._

You never know! I haven't been up to your dorms, I don't know what it's like! What if Black has set up some sort of Elizabeth Trap or something?

_He hasn't. We've been trying to tell him you aren't going to give him the time of day._

Oh, I bet that's working well.

_It really isn't. He's stalking you now, I think._

I've noticed. He followed me to the Astronomy Tower the other night and wouldn't leave me alone the whole time I was trying to finish my chart.

_I'm sorry._

Don't be- it's not your fault. But he kept pointing out Sirius to me since he's named after it and all, so I probably put Sirius down a few times too many on the chart.

_That's sounds like something he'd do._

Yes. But let's not talk about Sirius, alright? Back to the Strategy Planning.

_Fine._

Don't sound so excited. Anyway, is your dorm in disarray?

_A bit._

How much constitutes as a bit?

_You really don't want to know. _

Alright. So, I'll have to be careful moseying around then. Don't want to accidentally move anything. Are the rest of the Marauders going to Hogsmeade then?

_Yes, I believe so. _

Good, good. No chance on anyone walking in on us.

You really ought to stop blushing all the time, Remus.

_I'm __not__ blushing! It's just hot in here._

I know. My beauty, charm and overall presence heat up every classroom.

**12.03, Great Hall, Lunch, Sitting with the Gang at Gryffindor Table**

So, Remus and I managed to decode the assigned what's-it in a record time of three minutes. We just decided to discuss the plan aloud since I sounded too much like Sirius when I was writing. (Especially with my last comment, though I can't help it that men fawn over my brown curls, brown eyes, and dazzling smile.) (Except they really don't, unless I really am completely oblivious to everything around me like Lily says.)

**12.17**

Everyone is discussing their Hogsmeade plans. Lily and Bridget plan on shopping whilst Anne has a date with the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain. I chastised her about her lack of house spirit. I mean, honestly, who dates the captain of a rival team when their best mate and some of that best mate's best mates are on the house team? She's fraternizing with the enemy!

**12.20**

I'll update James on this latest development. That way he knows not to discuss game plans when Anne is around.

**12.21**

Although maybe Anne's dating a rival team member could be used to our advantage? Maybe she could find out the Ravenclaw game strategies?

**12.23**

That'd be much easier than me, James and Sirius hiding under James' (seemingly shrinking) Invisibility Cloak.

**12.25**

I blame James and Sirius for the shrinking of the cloak. It used to be quite comfortable with all of us under there back in third year when our main job was to watch other teams practise. But since then, they've both grown to be quite tall. Whereas I have been the same short height for six years.

**12.32**

Anne refuses to be a Quidditch spy. Some friend!

**12.35**

I'm not cross with Anne anymore. I told her she was a prick and then she started choking on a piece of bread. So, I feel rather guilty about the whole thing.

**12.36**

I still can't believe she won't spy for us though.

**12.39**

I don't want to have to be cramped under the cloak with James and Sirius anymore... They're even taller than last year!

**12.41**

Maybe I can go on Spying Excursions by myself... That would be quite the incredible adventure! Going 'round by myself for once... Not stopping all the time because Sirius just saw some rather leggy girl or because James thought he saw Lily...

**5.36, Astronomy, Sort of Paying Attention**

So, I mentioned to James that I could just go on the Spying Excursions by myself this year. He doesn't really like the idea as he feels I'll abuse his cloak. I swear, he loves that thing more than Lily sometimes. He went on to suggest that Sirius could go with me. Sirius quite liked the idea, of course. I hit James upside the head. I know, really mature, yeah? Ah well. If it was just Sirius and me on the excursions, wouldn't that just give him more opportunity to try to seduce me with his evilly charming ways? I thought James was on my side with this whole thing! I suppose I've been hoodwinked.

**5.40**

Hoodwinked is an odd word... But do you want to know an even odder word? Ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-ptaang-zoom-boing-znourrwringmm. Ahahaha!!

**5.43**

Did I spell that correctly? Is there even a proper way to do so? ... Ah well, spelling is an odd thing and useless thing. Since the word is made up and, as far as I'm aware, isn't actually written up anywhere, I can spell it however I want.

**5.47**

I really must ask Lily what that show was called. Maybe I shall get a tevelision and then be able to watch that show as often as I fancy!

**6.16, Great Hall, Dinner, Sitting with the Marauders**

So, Sirius and James somehow managed to convince me to join them for dinner. I suppose I'm a bit sick in the brain, for if I were healthy, I probably wouldn't have allowed myself to sit with them again. I must be mad.

**6.17**

Probably inherited aforementioned madness from my mum.

**6.18**

Why couldn't I have been borne to a sane mother? I'd probably be less, as Anne so kindly puts it, loopy.

**6.21**

Peter's just joined us. It was quite funny. When he saw that I had joined his fellow mates, he looked about to faint. And now he's panicking. Why? Because he fears that he has been replaced with me.

**6.23**

I must say, if he really has been replaced with me, the Marauders haven't lost much. On the contrary, they will have gained quite a bit.

**8.06, Gryffindor Common Room, Studying with Remus**

Quite bored of studying. Remus isn't really helping much, he keeps losing focus. Which isn't good. Because that means neither of us are focused.

**8.08**

Someone has to keep us focused! And it can't be me since I'm pretty much the least focused person I've ever met.

**8.09**

Wait, that didn't make any sense... I swear it made sense when the thought occurred to me, though!

**8.11**

Remus, is it possible to be the least focused person that you know?

_... What?_

Read entry timed 8.08, and maybe you'll get what I'm trying to say.

_Oh. Well, I suppose it does in a sense. You know a lot of people and, obviously, also know yourself. So you can include yourself in the people that you know, so yeah, it's possible._

Good! I thought I was talking bullocks for a moment. It happens on occasion and it can be quite scary.

_I know. But, look at it this way: you have a lot of mates who accept your odd eccentricities and moments._

Would you happen to be one of them?

_Yes. Do you really think I'd be studying with you right now if I didn't accept you?_

Actually, we aren't really studying. You keep getting this glazed-over look like you're in deep thought or something.

_Well, I was thinking about something._

Oh? And what were you thinking about?

_Nothing._

You lie.

_Yes, I do. _

Will you tell me?

_I was just thinking about your whole Sirius-related problem._

Ah, I see. What about it then?

_Don't know. I was just thinking about it. _

Are you jealous?

_That doesn't even make sense. How could I be jealous of Sirius? You don't fancy him back, so he's stuck chasing after something he can't have. If I were him... Never mind._

What? Go on, finish that sentence!

_Well, if I were him, and I'm not, I wouldn't chase after you. If things were meant to happen, then they would happen. Why bother going after something when, in the end, you really aren't likely to get it no matter how much you want it?_

Profound thoughts. Yet sad, also.

_How so?_

Well, the way I see it, if something or someone really means that much to you, you should follow your gut instincts and go after it. I don't really believe in fate, as you are well aware. The only way to make things happen is to take action. I mean, it's sort of a good thing that Sirius is following the strange instincts that he has. I don't particularly like being stalked, but I'm still quite proud of the fact that he is showing dedication to what he wants. No offense, but what you would do in Sirius' position seems like a rather cowardly way to go about things.

_I don't know, Elizabeth. Things aren't that simple._

Of course they aren't! Life is supposed to be difficult! It's the only way to learn things. If you don't try, you may never fail, but you also will never learn, now will you?

_You're actually making sense right now. _

I know I am! I'm capable of deep thought, contrary to popular belief.

_How about we try studying now?_

Sounds lovely.

**9.16, 6th Year Girl Dorms, On Bed**

Well, that was a stimulating conversation. Remus and I actually did get to study. Sirius supposedly joined our study group, except for the fact that he didn't really study. He just watched me study and told me that I have the prettiest brown eyes he's ever seen. So I told him, "Complimenting my eyes isn't going to persuade me to sneak off to a broom closet and snog." So, he tried a different approach: physical contact. He kept pulling at my curls or wrapping them around his fingers. Quite annoying, I must say. Remus left at some point. I think it was when Sirius started whispering in my ear. I really was trying my best to ignore the bloke. But he just kept, well, you know...

**9.20**

You probably don't know. It's rather difficult to ignore someone who so obviously wants you to pay attention to them. And being the kind, engaging person that I am, I actually had a conversation with him. A normal conversation. Well, mostly. He kept looking at my lips or elsewhere, but, for the most part, we just talked. Complained about Slughorn, discussed possible Quidditch strategies, all that lot.

**9.26**

Although I decidedly did not much appreciate him messing with my hair and whispering in my ear. A bit too far for me. I don't even fancy him, you know.

**9.27**

Not even the least bit.

**9.38**

Alright, I suppose he can be decent sometimes. But the whispering has to stop. Whispers should not so easily be exchanged by those who aren't, technically, best mates.

**11th of September, 7.04, Great Hall, Breakfast**

James posted the Quidditch Try Out date in the Common Room this morning. Should've seen the first years- they were so excited that they looked about to wet themselves. It was actually quite an entertaining sight. Too bad for them that there is a strict No Firsties policy. Anyway, for the team, there are three open spots: two chasers and one beater are needed. Hopefully there will be a good lot trying out, because I hate having to try out crap players. Honestly, sometimes they are so poor at flying or catching or whatever that it makes me want to cry. Last year, I was actually brought to tears. (Although, admittedly, it was from laughing too hard.) So, next Monday we Gryffindors will be out on the pitch. Oh goodness, a letter from my mum. Sirius has intercepted it.

**7.11**

Thankfully, Mum didn't have anything embarrassing to say. Just wanted to tell me what Dad's been up to, how the Holyhead Harpies were doing (though the scores are in the Daily Prophet _everyday_), and asked if Quidditch had started yet. Apparently she's finally realised how much Quidditch actually means to me and that I'm dedicated to it.

**--------------------------------------**

I hope you enjoyed chapter five! Sorry that it's been about a week since I updated. Been busy and out of town, thus leaving me unable to update. But I did finally figure out where this story is ultimately going and I do think that you, my wonderful readers, will like it. As always, I've borrowed the Wizarding World and all things in it from J.K. Rowling. (Happy belated birthday, Jo!) That which you are not familiar with from the Harry Potter series is mine. And, as always, I've borrowed a bit from Monty Python. (Don't make me spell it out again!) Keep reading and **please, please, please review**!!! I want to know what you think of the story- what you like, what you don't like, what you wish to know more about, et cetera! I'm always open to suggestions and appreciate any and all feedback that I receive. Until next time! Love.


	6. Exuding Excess Amounts of Joy

**7.17, Next to Sirius**

He relocated himself. Nearly pushed Remus off the bench, might I add.

**7.19**

It was quite rude of him to just push Remus away, you know. He and I were having a rather interesting conversation whilst I was writing and then Sirius sprints around the end of the table, pushes Remus aside, plops down next to me and starts eating food from my plate! Honestly, he could at least have the decency to devour his own food. Perhaps I wanted that toast!

**7.33, En Route to As-Far-Away-From-Sirius-As-Possible (Also Known As Charms)**

Obviously, running from Sirius Black. That bloke is barmy mad!

**8.34, In Charms, Completely Safe from Black, Next to Remus**

Well, I showed him. Managed to arrive about 25 minutes early and got the best seat in the house: The Very Back. Snores ensued. At least until Remus sat down next to me and began poking me with the tip of his quill. Who does that sort of thing? Poking their mates with sharp, pointy objects to awaken them. He couldn't just pour some cold water over my head like a normal person would. Oh no, he has to inflict pain upon my person! Ah well, that aside, Saturday is coming quickly. Quite quickly. Meaning: two days away! You probably can't even fathom the amount of joy and excited-ness that is exuding from my aura! (That's what the professor told me in Divination. Apparently my aura was "pulsing with joy and happiness.")

**8.38**

But then she went on to ask if I had finally achieved the Boyfriend Goal. What is it with people? Why do they have to be so cruel to those of us who have not yet achieved a proper and decent relationship with snogging and the works?

**8.41**

_Are you alright?_

Hardly. Sorry if I disrupted your note-taking...

_Don't worry about it... So, what are you all upset about?_

Nothing at all. Why do you ask?

_People don't just randomly yell "GRAAAAAHHH" in the middle of class._

Oh... I wasn't aware that I actually said that aloud.

_... Right. Well, what's wrong?_

You mean you didn't hear about this one?

_No idea what you're talking about._

Ah, then I shall tell you the story myself! So, Professor Jevois told me my aura was exuding excess amounts of joy.

_So? That's not a bad thing._

Well, it wouldn't have been bad at all if she had left it at that! But, she couldn't. She asked me if I finally had a boyfriend! She's just as wretched as my mum!

_What were you happy about then?_

Shrine hunt is but a few days away, my dear Watson!

_Watson? ... Have you been reading muggle books again?_

Yes, I have. Far more interesting than these bloody textbooks we have the privilege of reading.

_We should leave- Flitwick just dismissed the class._

**12.06, Great Hall, Lunch, With the Gang**

Nothing of particular interest has yet occurred today. Black finally stopped following me around when I headed for Arithmancy. It's a good thing he doesn't like numbers, eh? Although he probably doesn't have a huge assignment to have finished by Monday either. Do these teachers really expect us to be avid learners?

**12.09**

We can't all be like Lily, you know!

**12.11**

What if someone invented a potion where we really could have Lily's learning enthusiasm?

**12.12**

That would be so wicked... I could be top of the class for once in my life!

**12.20**

I alerted the gang about the soon-to-be-invented Lily Learning Enthusiasm potion. Bridget and Anne loved the idea. They both thought it was quite brilliant of me and were impressed. Bridget's already ordered some! Lily, as usual, told me that that was easily the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. Then I told her that it wasn't. She didn't believe me so I yelled "Fetchez la vache!" and the entire Great Hall broke into a rousing chorus/round of "Fetchez la vache." She told me I was an idiot and that I was wasting the few functioning brain cells I have left. And, according to her, the rest of Hogwarts was also wasting their brain cells by going along with my new catch phrase.

**12.26**

I think Lily is just jealous that she didn't come up with such a brilliant phrase. Even though I didn't really come up with it... That's it, I'm finding out what that muggle show is called right now!

**12.27**

Monty Python! Ahahahahahahahaha.

**12.28**

I worship them now. I'm going to start a Monty Python shrine. Under my bed.

**12.31**

Then Peter won't be the only person in Gryffindor Tower who has a shrine located under their bed.

**12.32**

Maybe we could bond over our shrines...

**12.34**

Forget that- who would ever want to be caught bonding with Peter Pettigrew?

**12.35**

Not me, that's for sure.

**12.36**

I wouldn't even want to be caught dead with the bloke.

**12.37**

What an odd expression: caught dead.

**12.38**

Now that I think about it, how could a person possibly be caught dead with someone or doing something? Unless the person died and then someone else took the dead person's body and put it with someone else. Or made the body do something rather than lie in the cozy coffin...

**12.41**

Now I'm having morbid thoughts... Bad Elizabeth! Bad, bad, bad!

**3.03, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Next to James**

Class has just started... A day and a half left until the Shrine Hunt!

**3.04**

I really am terribly excited. I don't know if Remus is looking forward to it, though.

**3.05**

I don't think he has much excitement in his life. Which is odd, seeing as he's part of the Marauders. You'd think he had more than enough excitement... But he says he has a boring life.

**3.06**

Maybe he meant it was boring because he was either stuck with me or the Marauders all of the time?

**3.07**

Well, I see where he gets his boredom then... Not that I'm a boring person... Or maybe I am? Oh goodness- what if I'm boring?! I can't be boring! In fact, I'm very, er, not boring... Yes, I can be a bit off sometimes (alright, a lot of the time). But Bridget says I'm entertaining, Anne says I brighten her day, and Lily says that I make her feel even better about herself... Which is good. I think I'm exciting... I mean, who else goes on a shrine hunt? Or plays Quidditch with as much enthusiasm as I do? Or, er, shops a lot? Or yells Monty Python quotes?

**3.11**

I simply can't be boring!

**3.12**

Thus, the Marauders are boring.

**3.14**

If I were a Marauder, I'm sure our daily lives would be filled with much excitement!

**3.15**

Since I'm not a bloke, would that mean I'd be a marauderette? Sounds more feminine...

**3.16**

Have to practise some spell now, so I'll try to write later. And, if I'm too tired tonight, I'll update tomorrow morning.

**12th of September, 6.41, Gryffindor Common Room, Sitting near the Window**

Last night was rather boring. I attempted to start on my Arithmancy assignment, but I couldn't focus. People were playing Exploding Snap, and it's really hard to concentrate when that game is being played. So, I had to play since I can't just sit and watch. (I'm a little addicted, I suppose.) It also started raining last night during dinner, and it's still raining right now. Weather is strange and seems to have it's own agenda. When I was at Lily's this past summer, we'd watch these men on her tevelision called Weathermen. They're supposed to predict the weather but they did a crap job of it. One time, the bloke told us to expect showers all day with cool weather and what did we have? Extreme heat and humidity. So, you're probably wondering why I'm up so early? I don't really know, actually. I had a difficult time sleeping last night. Either from the thunder, Anne's snoring, or my excitement for the Hunt. A day away, now. I think the gang is still asleep, although it's quite possible Lily is up and about...

**6.49, En Route to Breakfast with Remus**

So, Remus came down from his dorm all ready to go and asked me if I was heading down to the Great Hall yet. Obviously, that's where we are going.

**6.57, Great Hall, Breakfast, Across from Remus**

It's surprisingly pretty quiet right now. I guess people start arriving no earlier than seven o'clock? I don't know...

**6.59**

Students slowly trickling in... Everyone looks so tired. I guess I wasn't the only one last night who had difficulty sleeping with that bloody storm.

**7.04**

Marauders are here. Joy.

**7.05**

_Hey Elizabeth._

Hi Sirius.

_You certain that you already have a date to Hogsmeade tomorrow?_

Yes!

_Well, I've asked around. Apparently you don't._

I do.

_Who is it, then?_

Why does it matter to you?

_Curiosity. _

Sirius...

_Just tell me and I'll drop the matter until next Hogsmeade trip._

I'm going with Regulus.

**7.10**

He's a rather accomplished glare-er. At least he moved away from me.

**7.16**

Alright, I do feel a little bad about lying to him. I mean, obviously I'd never go with his younger brother, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

**7.18**

And at least he won't be trying to follow me and my "date" around all afternoon.

**7.19**

Which means Remus and I will be free to search.

**7.22**

Sirius won't stop glaring at me!!!

**7.23, Going to Pass Notebook to Remus**

_What did you say to Sirius?_

He wanted to know who I was going to Hogsmeade with!

_Well, what did you tell him?_

I kind of, sort of told him I was going with Regulus.

_His brother?!_

He was the first person that came to mind!

_Elizabeth..._

You're making me feel even worse. What was I supposed to do?

_You could've just told him the truth._

Do you think he would've believed me? He'd probably twist it somehow and tell people you and I were going to be snogging, or worse, all afternoon! I don't want people to think that! And I know you wouldn't want that either.

_I wouldn't, but I don't think he'd tell everyone. He thinks things, but doesn't necessarily tell everyone._

... Can we talk about this later on tonight when we're planning?

_Yeah, that'd be a good idea._

**7.29**

I'm not going to think about it until later. Pushing all thoughts regarding what I told Sirius to the very far recesses of my mind.

**8.19, Gryffindor Common Room, Post-Dinner, Planning**

_Still upset about this morning?_

Yes.

_Try not to feel too bad. At least we know that he won't be following you around tomorrow afternoon._

My thoughts exactly. I'm trying not to think too much about it.

_That's good. So, Hunt Planning Time!_

You're actually excited!!! This is the first time I've seen you excited about this little excursion. I'm so proud.

_You're acting like your mum now. And I've been looking forward to this so-called "Shrine Hunt" with you all week._

Oh? Well, your aura wasn't exuding it. Haha!

_I'm amazed at how easily you amuse yourself._

I am too. Don't worry about it. So, everyone leaves for Hogsmeade around eleven, right?

_I think so. That's what the flyer says, anyway._

Alright, so we'll have to be casual and such during breakfast and post-breakfast.

_What are we going to be doing while everyone's heading down? Sirius, James, and Peter are going to wonder why you and I are lagging behind..._

You underestimate me! I have this all figured out. We'll both just disappear for awhile. I have an alibi: I'll be with Regulus all day, so Sirius isn't going to want to be looking for me, even beforehand. And then... Well, did you tell them you were planning to go to Hogsmeade?

_No. I told them I wasn't sure if I was going or not. _

Well, tonight tell them that you are going to work on the Ancient Runes assignment tomorrow afternoon so you won't be able to go to Hogsmeade. But ask them to get you some chocolate from Honeydukes.

_You really have given this a lot of thought... _

Indeed I have!

_Is the chocolate bit really necessary?_

Of course it is. Sounds like something you'd say. Besides, you love Honeydukes chocolates! I know you do.

_Alright. How about when they get back?_

Well, they have to be back by four, so you could head down to the library around 3.30 and then come back to the Common Room around 4.15.

_What will you be doing?_

I'll head down to Hogsmeade around 3.15. And then head back once I locate Bridget, Anne or Lily. I'll just tell everyone that things didn't go well. No need to go into detail.

_Well, everything sounds like it'll work. Till tomorrow morning then?_

Good-night!

**9.32, In Bed, Pretending to be Asleep**

So, everything sounds good. The plan is perfect. We went over it about four or five more times, just to smooth over the details and know what to do in case of emergency. I'm going to sleep now, so, until tomorrow morning!

**--------------------------------------**

Finally got around to Chapter Six! Sorry it has taken me so long to post, but I've been so busy. Last week I had Improvisation Camp (a full day of improv everyday really does fry the brain). And this past week, I've been on vacation with my family before school starts back up. I'm glad to see that people are reviewing and that you all find Elizabeth's chronicles funny. I really do try to keep it entertaining for you all. The world of Harry Potter has been borrowed from J.K. Rowling and "Fetchez la vache" from Monty Python. (Disclaimers: check.) Regarding the reviews, if you are going to criticize the wording I choose to use (that means you, Mr./Ms. Anonymous), please be kind about it. I think the word choice is fine, has a good flow and I really do try to keep grammar and such correct. Sometimes I choose to use something even though it may not be correct because that's just how Elizabeth is. If you haven't noticed by now, her thought process is very, erm, different and she talks in whichever way she chooses. So, that's just the character speaking. But, as I said, I love reviews of all kinds, and they are greatly appreciated. So, **please review**- comment about your favorite part, what you would like to see happen, what you want more information on, who you want to see more of, et cetera! I love you, glorious readers! And keep your eyes glued to FF for another update! (The next chapter is going to be mostly the Shrine Hunt. About time, yeah?)


	7. Much Ado About the Whole Thing

**13th of September, 7.09, Great Hall, Breakfast, With the Marauders (minus Sirius), Day of the Shrine Hunt**

Well, Black isn't gracing us with his presence this fine Saturday morning. But that's quite alright as nothing could ruin today! Why? Shrine Hunt, of course. I've only been looking forward to it for the past two-ish weeks. I can hardly contain my excited-ness. Really, it's difficult. James asked me why I was in such a good mood because, after all, I was stuck going to Hogsmeade with Regulus Black. (Is the bloke _really_ that bad? I've spoken with him two times, he's quite cordial.) I didn't answer him and, instead, continued on my merry way, skipping down to the Gryffindor Table. Remus seems to be having an easier time containing his excitement. James keeps begging Remus to come to Hogsmeade because Sirius is just going to be absolutely miserable. Not sure why Sirius has gone into such a state of depression...

**7.15**

According to James and Peter, it's _my_ fault that Sirius is so upset.

**7.16**

Who knew that going to Hogsmeade with his younger brother would be so upsetting to him?

**7.17**

James is now blaming me for his friend's actions. (I suppose he threw a tantrum last night in their dorm.)

**7.18**

I owe James a new pillow and Peter a new sock.

**7.20**

I refuse to get them a sock and pillow!

**7.22**

What if I get a sock that is the wrong colour? Or the pillow I get is too soft or too firm?

**7.23**

Goose feather or owl feather?

**7.24**

Striped sock or polka-dotted sock?

**7.26**

Urgh, why am I even thinking about this? I thought I decided to not get them their missing articles!

**7.27**

I suppose I'll at least know what to get the pair of them for Christmas when it comes time.

**7.28**

And I'll get Remus chocolate and a book.

**7.29**

And Lily can get, er... A book? And Bridget would _love_ some sugar quills (she always nibbles on her normal ones). Anne was complaining about her lack of joke products... Wait, why am I even figuring out what to get people for Christmas? It's three and a half months away!

**7.33**

Something is wrong with me.

**7.34**

I blame the Shrine Hunt Excitement factor for my loss of common sense.

**7.38**

Sirius and James are conversing... Or rather, Sirius stalked over here, James started talking to him, and all Sirius is capable of doing is glare at me.

**7.39**

I felt bad about the whole situation last night, but now I don't care. He's acting like a three-year-old.

**7.40**

Which means he's about 13 years off as to how old he _should_ be acting. (I had to count it up, alright? Maybe I'm not the best at counting!)

**7.43**

James and Sirius have gone off. Probably to torture Snape, the poor bloke. So here I am with Remus and Peter.

**7.45**

D'you think I should leave Peter a mysterious/creepy note under his bed after I locate his shrine?

**7.47**

Remus, I've resolved to leave him a note once the Sacred Place of S & J is located.

_Is that the new code name for it? "The Sacred Place of S & J?" _

Yes, it is. He's too thick to figure it out even if he did look over to read what you're writing.

_I see. So, you're going to leave him a note? What's it going to say?_

I was thinking something creepy or mysterious, you know? Like in those muggle tevelision shows where people find notes that say, "I know where you live" or "I know what colour your jumper is."

_... That's a bit creepy, Elizabeth._

But then you lot get to enjoy him wetting himself when he finds the note! See, future entertainment for the Marauders!

_Well, Sirius and James would have a good laugh._

Oh yes. Too bad I wouldn't be there to witness it...

_Why not?_

Because I probably wouldn't have any reason to be up in your dorm later tonight.

_Ah, I see. Well, that makes sense then. By the way, it's "television." You keep saying "tevelision." You're switching the v and l around._

Oh. I wasn't aware... Did you know that if all the letters in a word are present but all jumbled up, and as long as the first letter and last letter are left the same, the mind reads it as what the intended word was?

_... What are you talking about? That didn't even make sense._

Of cuosre it did! (Cuosre equals Course)

_I see what you mean now that you've made it so __blatantly__ obvious._

Well, at least you know what I'm saying.

_Where did you hear that from?_

My cousin last Christmas hols.

_How old is your cousin?_

He's 10. And it's great because we both think alike!

_I feel so sorry for your parents then._

Why?

_I'm sure it's absolute mayhem when the two of you are together._

Indeed it is! Well, it looks like everyone's heading back to the Common Room...

_Right._

**8.16, Gryffindor Common Room, With the Gang**

So, here I am, relaxing with the gang a.k.a. the Inquisitorial Squad. They won't leave me alone about my "date" with Regulus. It's actually quite funny how they think I'd actually go out with the bloke. I suppose the gang doesn't know me as well as I thought they did...

**8.19**

Bridget has been whisked away by Black. He's apparently trying to prove something to me... I don't know what it is though.

**8.21**

Maybe he's trying to prove that he can snog anything in sight?

**8.23**

Poor Bridget... Having to put up with this nonsense. Anne's gone off to apply her beautifying make-up or something. I don't know. I guess I'll tell Lily that I'm not actually going on a date with Black's brother.

**8.36**

That went surprisingly well. At first Lily was upset that I would lie about something like that, but then when I told her about the Shrine Hunt with Remus, she smiled. And she also was quite happy that I was the reason for Black's misery. Apparently he hasn't been this miserable since, well, actually he's never been this miserable. I must have special powers... Wait, of course I have special powers- I'm a witch!

**8.37**

Back to Lily's comments. She seemed most pleased that Remus and I would be spending the whole afternoon together. She's still stuck on the idea that Remus is my other PS (potential snog-ee).

**8.39**

And I still think that the PS isn't Remus because he's quite possibly my best mate.

**8.40**

At least I know Lils won't be telling anyone about what I'm really doing. And that she'll go along with this pretend date.

**8.43**

Bridget has finally come back to us.

**8.44**

She's not very happy that Black was snogging her for so long.

**8.45**

He's a good kisser, though.

**8.46**

Or so she tells me.

**8.47**

Though I'm not sure why she thinks I'd care to know.

**8.59**

Going up to the dorm to play a bit of Truth or Truth. (Dare's been ruled out because the gang can no longer think of dares for me.)

**10.36, En Route to the Library to Hide for a Wee Bit**

I told everyone that I was heading down to meet up with "Reg." I was sure to make much ado about the whole thing.

**10.37**

It is quite entertaining to see Sirius in such a huff.

**10.38**

It isn't often that he gets riled up about anything, so why not Milk the Riled-Up Cow for all it's worth? (Some barmy yank saying, I think... I don't know why anyone would purposely milk a cow, but, hey... There are farmers out there who do it for a living... I hope they are paid well.)

**10.49, In the Back of the Library, Waiting for Remus**

So, here I am... Piddly-diddly and all that.

**11.04**

Mr. Lupin has arrived!!!

**11.05**

We're just going to wait around for a bit. Make sure everyone is actually, you know, _gone_.

**11.06**

Oh Merlin, he actually brought his Runes assignment along with him and he's now working on it.

**11.07**

He doesn't understand the whole concept of Making Things Up for the Greater Good.

**11.11, En Route Back to the Common Room**

And we're off! Let the Hunt officially begin! As per usual, Remus is leading the way whilst I write.

**11.19**

Almost there... Excitement is pulsing through my veins!!

**11.23, Common Room, Remus Shall Document for Now**

_Hello, this is Remus Lupin. I'm being forced to document this "Epic Search" for a shrine that probably doesn't even exist. _

**11.25, 6th Year Boys Dormitory**

_I'm not sure why Elizabeth insists on writing the headings, but I suppose I'll humour her and let her do as she pleases. She's just located Peter's bed... I'm not sure why she didn't just ask me which one it was..._

**11.28**

It's Elizabeth again. I'd just like to document that Peter is a pack-rat. I mean, he has so many old books under his bed... Why does he even need them? ... I bet the shrine is hidden behind those books!

**11.35**

_Elizabeth is now sitting on the floor in front of Wormtail's bed, pulling out the books, and inspecting them. Apparently it's possible that he's hidden something within the pages, although I, personally, don't think he's smart enough to have figured that out._

**11.38**

_Not that I'm calling my mate stupid or anything. He can be bright... Sometimes._

**11.49**

_Things found thus far: a pressed flower. Presumably from his mum. Still looking through all the books... This may take awhile, so I'll help Lizzie go through them (there are a lot more than originally thought). I'll update if we find anything interesting._

**12.35, Snack Break, On the Floor, Next to Remus**

It's quite exhausting looking through all the books that Peter has. I don't think he's even read some of the books. (Some here meaning most of them.) Since I was feeling famished, I demanded that Remus give me chocolate. So we're having a break right now, nibbling on the last of the chocolate he has. Hopefully his mates'll remember to bring him some more from Honeydukes, though I wouldn't count on it. They are a forgetful lot, especially James.

**12.46**

Finally finished with the chocolate. Now I have to let it digest a bit and then I shall get back to searching and Remus shall get back to documenting. He seems to be doing a fair job of it, but he really needs to be more descriptive. He could've written how old and decrepit the pressed flower was. And we're just assuming it's from his mum because, honestly, do you really think Peter Pettigrew would have a love interest? No, he certainly wouldn't. He's a bloke only a mother could love.

**1.02, Back to Searching**

_I'm going to try to be more descriptive, since Elizabeth wrote that I could work on being descriptive. And thank you for saying I am doing a "fair job" of documenting. I know that what I'm writing probably isn't up to par (golf, you know), but I certainly am trying. So, Elizabeth is currently half-way under the bed. Nothing of particular interest has been seen so far... I think she just lit her wand... She seems to be having a hard time maneuvering under there. Not to mention the fact I can see her red and blue striped knickers. Wait, she's saying something- can't really hear her though..._

**1.08**

_She's found a tissue. It says "Sirius' tissue" on it. Bloody hell, she was right. Peter does collect things of theirs! I thought she was just making it up..._

**1.11**

_I hope he doesn't have anything of mine... Then I'd be worried. (Elizabeth is finally letting me write the headings.)_

**1.48**

_Well, she's come up for air. (Or so she says.) Besides the tissue, she's found a note that James wrote to Lily (asking her on a date, of course), one of Sirius' gloves, and an old pair of shoes (presumably his own, seeing as nothing indicated that they weren't his). Nothing of mine, thank Merlin. _

**2.17**

_She's still looking at everything. There must be a lot under there, though I haven't yet looked under Peter's bed. I'm leaving that to Elizabeth since she can actually fit under the bed. I'd probably get stuck and I can only see that ending in disaster. _

**2.49, Under the Bed, Almost Stuck but Not Quite**

_She was right. I can't believe it. Peter really does have a whole shrine under his bed. Who knew? (Besides Elizabeth.) How did he get everything set up so quickly? I can only imagine that he'd have a hard time fitting under the bed... I'm having a hard time. Elizabeth and I are squished... Anyway, he has one of James' old textbooks, some magazines that I thought Sirius threw away a __long__ time ago, a sock James wore during last year's final Quidditch match, a comb Sirius lost back in third year... Oh, Lizabeth just found something else..._

**2.53**

_It's a chocolate wrapper... What did I do to deserve this? Why couldn't he just be obsessed with Sirius and James? Elizabeth can't stop laughing and she's asked me to give her my autograph. Well, I'm getting out from under here. I've seen far more than I ever wanted to see._

**2.59, Freed from the Death Trap known as Under Peter's Bed**

Remus is stuck! Haha. He so deserved that... Except not really. He's been a most excellent companion on this hunt, although he just documented the excursion most of the time. At least we know that I was correct to assume that Peter had a shrine.

**3.02**

I suppose I should help Remus now, yeah?

**3.09, Remus' Final Words**

_Thanks for making it sound like I'm on my death bed, Elizabeth. Very endearing. Well, I suppose all I can say is: Elizabeth, you were right. And you have lovely knickers. I'll be sure to tell Sirius all about them. Oh, did you remember to leave a note? Yours._

**3.11**

Sorry for the ripped edge of the page. I had to use it to leave the creepy note with Peter's shrine. I wrote, "Dearest Peter, I found your shrine and love it. But beware. I may just decide to tell your mates that you collect their things. Remember: I know where your bed is. Good-day." Remus couldn't stop laughing when he read it. I don't blame him. Well, I probably should head down to Hogsmeade so it looks like I actually was there on a date that went sour.

**3.26, En Route to Hogsmeade**

I sprinted this far, but now I'm tired so I'll just walk the rest of the way. I can't believe how successful the Shrine Hunt was! Remus and I had so much fun. Although I resent his comment about my knickers. He's such a bloke sometimes.

**--------------------------------------**

Well, I managed it. I absolutely loved writing this chapter, and I sincerely hope it was up to your expectations! Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and probably forever will. But she is kind and let's fans like me borrow it, if only for awhile. **Please, please, please review** kind readers! I love hearing from you and your reviews inspire me to pump out more chapters. Oh, and if you happen to be in search of a clever, charming movie, go see "Becoming Jane." It's very good. Anywubblies, I hope you liked it and keep on reading!


	8. Laughing Like a Madman

**3.37, Hogsmeade, Sitting on a Bench, Unable to Locate the Gang or the Marauders**

I'm exhausted from all that sprinting... I never realised how far Hogsmeade really was from Gryffindor Tower... Or that I was able to slide down stairs very quickly.

**3.38**

Still no sign of my mates... Where did they all go?

**3.46, The Three Broomsticks**

Found them! They were enjoying Butterbeers without me. Bridge asked me how my date went and I simply told her it did not go well at all, so Sirius should stop being all upset about it.

**3.47**

Yeah, the last bit I said loudly because the Marauders were located two tables over from the gang. Sirius just looked over here and, for once in the past two days, he isn't glaring at me!

**3.49**

It's a Hogsmeade miracle!

**3.50, Leaving The Broomsticks, En Route to Hogwarts**

So far five people have asked me how my date went, including Sirius. He, apparently, got over the whole thing once I said that it didn't go well. Now he's saying that I would've had a fabulous time if I'd gone with him.

**3.52**

Not likely.

**4.19, Gryffindor Common Room**

Remus has just returned from the library, Runes assignment in hand. He probably finished it whilst I was sprinting down to Hogsmeade. It's quite fortunate that no one wanted to follow me around today.

**4.27**

Bridget bought me some chocolate from Honeydukes! She's so kind...

**4.29**

Although it appears that Remus' fellow Marauders completely forgot to pick some up for him.

**4.30**

Poor Remus...

**4.35**

I gave him one of my chocolate bars as a 'thank you' for joining me on the Completely Successful Shrine Hunt.

**4.39**

I'm looking back at what Remus documented... I sincerely hope, for his sake, that he doesn't tell Sirius about my knickers. I happen to like my blue and red striped knicks very, very much. I consider them my lucky undergarments. And they're nautical!

**4.40**

What if he does tell Sirius though?

**4.41**

But he wouldn't, because that would blow our carefully-planned cover.

**4.42**

And then Sirius would get insanely jealous of Remus because he saw my knickers (and most likely a bit of my bum)... Which will also lead Sirius to conclude that we were doing something.

**4.43**

Which we were, but not the something he'd be thinking of...

**4.46**

You know, I really have to stop this obsessing over little things. It's going to damage my sanity one of these days.

**5.16**

The Marauders just went up to their dorm...

**5.18**

Now begins the Official Countdown to Peter finding the note, yelping, and simultaneously wetting himself.

**5.19**

Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven... Six... Five... Four... Three and a half... Two... One and one eighth...

**5.20**

Ahahahahaha!!!!!

**5.23**

I can hear their laughter!

**5.24**

James just bounded down and has asked me to come up to their dorm because I'm "going to get a kick out of this."

**5.37, Back from the Marauders' Dorm**

I've been laughing for the past 12 minutes... My side hurts so much... But it was such a laugh!!!

**5.38**

You really should've been there.

**5.39**

But, even if you were, you wouldn't be able to fully experience the humour since you can't see or anything of that sort.

**5.40**

Unless you can... In which case I should probably cease writing in here...

**5.44**

I can't contain myself! I simply must explain the Hilarious Moment of Peter's Embarrassment and Humility. So, I followed James up to the dorm (and also noticed how much taller he was, which isn't fair _at all_). When he opened the door to let me in, I found Sirius doubled-over laughing like a madman, Remus stuffing his hand into his mouth to keep from laughing, and Peter holding the small note I wrote, a look of terror on his face and the front of his trousers soaked. I mean, I didn't actually think the bloke would wet himself! I was just using it as a figure of speech and all that. But no! He actually did! Which made the whole thing that much more hilarious! I soon joined Sirius in his doubled-over-ness. In fact, I actually cried I was laughing so hard. It was probably the singularly most entertaining moment of my life thus far.

**5.49**

Whoever said I wasn't brilliant was very much mistaken.

**5.50**

If that hasn't gotten me into the little Marauder Clan, I don't know what will.

**5.53**

Not that it's a life ambition of mine to be a Marauder(ette). It'd just be kind of fun.

**14th of Semptember, 12.06, Great Hall, Lunch**

I woke up about an hour ago... Lily keeps calling me lazy. But it's a Sunday, so why not be lazy? Besides, I was working hard yesterday searching for that bloody shrine under Peter's bed. That took a lot more energy than what one would expect. In fact, I may head back to Sleepy Land after I'm done eating... Sleeping is a great way to avoid Lily nagging me about my essay for Potions _and_ all the letters my mum sends on Sundays.

**8.13, Gryffindor Common Room, "Studying" with Remus**

I slept most of the afternoon away until Anne and Bridget came bounding into the room, jumped on my bed and then told me to wake up because Remus wanted to study with me. Honestly, they were more excited than I was.

**8.14**

Right, well I think I failed to mention that Lily and Bridget have converted Anne. She too believes that Remus is the PS that James told me about...

**8.15**

Don't those three have anything better to do with their time?

**8.16**

They're watching me... And giggling... And whispering... Merlin knows about what.

**8.18**

Probably Remus and me. Though he's just helping me with my Arithmancy assignment which I don't understand at all.

**8.19**

I'm pretending that I'm taking notes...

**8.23**

I suppose he is kind of cute... You know, the way he looks when he's earnestly trying to help me even though he knows I'm not really paying attention at all...

**8.25**

But that doesn't mean I fancy him!

**8.26**

He is just a mate, after all.

**15th of September, 7.02, Great Hall, Breakfast, With the Marauders (Minus Peter who Appears to be Sleeping In)**

They figured out that I wrote the note. Sirius and James happen to think that I'm brilliant. Bloody mad, but brilliant. Remus is pretending that he is only aware of what James and Sirius have figured out, though he has this knowing smile plastered on his face. James is asking me how and when I did it. So, I just told him I did it awhile ago. Sirius is still asking if Peter really has a shrine under his bed. I told him I didn't know and that I just shoved it under there at the beginning of term when they were off marauding.

**7.09**

The topic has switched to the Quidditch Try Outs today. We're all hoping that we get some decent players this time. Really, people only come to try outs to see Sirius and James. (Yes, male and female population alike.) I don't get it, but... Can't people just enjoy the sport? Not the way the players look?

**7.11**

At least I know that no one is watching me.

**7.12**

Except maybe the other Potential Snog-ee, whomever he may be...

**7.15**

Remus says that he and Peter will come to watch the try outs. Surely they'll get one or two good laughs in before the night is through.

**7.19**

Speaking of, where is that little rat boy?

**7.23**

Honestly, that's what he looks like. Lily compares him to a mouse, but mice are too cute to be compared to a disgusting bloke like that.

**7.25**

I mean, come on, he has a bloody shrine!

**7.26**

He's never going to get a girl.

**7.28**

But that's alright. I don't think any girls want to be with him.

**7.42, En Route to Transfiguration**

Well, I'm off now. I'll write as soon as possible (probably after the Quidditch try outs).

**9.23, Gryffindor Common Room, On Sofa, Post-Quidditch Try Outs**

So exhausted. The turn out this year wasn't so bad. You know, after the team banished those who were just there to check out certain people, people who were younger than 13, and people who weren't even part of Gryffindor House. Honestly, don't people have anything better to do with their time? They could be studying or something... (Not that I study, but... Isn't that what most people do in their free time?)

**9.27**

Sirius just lay down on top of me... Which is rather disgusting seeing as he's all sweaty and sticky.

**9.29**

He weighs a lot more than I thought...

**9.30**

Maybe it's just because he sprawled himself on top of me instead of just sitting on me like last time...

**9.34**

And he's off of me! Go me and my pushing skills!

**9.42**

Well, they're discussing me potentially becoming a Marauder. I'm listening, sort of, though I'm more so enraptured in my triumph of getting Sirius off of me.

**9.46**

It's been decided that I'm a "Pending Marauder." I'll have my initiation in the late winter, or so James tells me.

**9.48**

Back to the Quidditch results: We have a new beater who is fabulous and two new chasers who, with some work, will be almost as good as I am.

**9.58, 6th Year Girl Dormitory, On Bed**

Well, my pillow is beckoning me... Till the morning, then.

**16th of September, 1.13, Divination**

Currently trying to decipher the tea leaves... Who knew that tea leaves could reveal our futures? I just thought people used them to make tea...

**1.16**

Like having your tea leaves and drinking them, and the tea, too!

**1.17**

Or was that saying about cake?

**1.18**

I really don't know. That barmy queen, Marie Antoinette, probably came up with that saying too... She seems to have a Cake Fetish.

**1.19**

Just like Peter and his Marauder Fetish!

**1.23**

Ahahahaha! That is still the funniest thing I've ever seen.

**1.24**

He's struggling to unfog some Hufflepuff's future right now. Haha. He can't do anything right.

**1.26**

Professor Jevois is on the move!

**1.37**

I have the Inner Eye! I actually predicted Bridget's future correctly! She isn't going to die tomorrow!

**1.38**

Bridget had to unfog my future. Apparently, I'm going to get with a ruggedly handsome bloke until I realise that I'm madly in love with a kind, just-as-handsome-but-in-a-different-way bloke and I'll break up with Mr. Ruggedly Handsome to find out more about my liking of Mr. Kind Handsome.

**1.43**

Wait a second! She was talking about Sirius and Remus!

**1.44**

I think... Well, I _know_ she was talking about Sirius with the ruggedly handsome bit. (I admit, even I can't resist his ruggedly handsome ways sometimes.) But maybe the second one isn't Remus... Although it'd be just like Bridge to throw something about Remus being my PS into my future.

**1.47**

Professor Jevois, once again, congratulated Bridget on her very clear, and correct, reading of the tea leaves.

**1.48**

I hate psychics.

**1.49**

Bridget told me that she just saw Remus and me snogging the daylights out of each other in the crystal ball on Professor Jevois' desk.

**1.50**

Prat.

**--------------------------------------**

You know, it's so hard to write an absolutely hilarious chapter and then have to continue. I hope this has been up to your standards (which I'm sure are getting higher with each passing chapter- I know mine are). I'm not sure if anyone happens to take French, but Professor Jevois' name is pronounced "Jeh-vwah" meaning "I see" in French. (It's actually two words, for those who are curious: Je vois.) Just a funny play on words, you know. Anyway, the Wonderful World of Harry Potter (I'm tempted to write "Disney") belongs to J.K. Rowling. Thanks to all that have reviewed so far. But, as always, I _beg_ of you to **please, please, please, **_**please**_** keep reviewing**! It inspires me more than you know and I love hearing that people like what I'm doing. It makes me have that warm, fuzzy feeling inside that I get when I think of Remus, Sirius, Jack Sparrow or Commodore Norrington. Keep reading, reviewing and being wonderful! Yours Always.


	9. The Capacity to be a Blathering Idiot

**6.13, Great Hall, Dinner, With the Gang**

I'm famished. A full day of learning after a spectacular week-end. Mum sent me so many bloody letters and I'm quite pleased to say that I've burned every single one of them so far. Really, that woman is right mad.

**6.17**

By the power of Greyskull, I think that we've just come up with the most hilarious nickname for Lily!

**6.18**

Lily Potter!

**6.22**

She's giving me the Glare of Death. But that's quite alright, I'm used to it by now. Anyway, Sirius has been keeping a close eye on me all day. He's giving me that, "I'm going to beat you up in the darkest corridor" look right now. I didn't even do anything! And I thought he wasn't mad at me anymore...

**8.16, Gryffindor Common Room**

Lounging about with the gang. You know, the usual, avoiding homework and such. Remus has asked me several times to study with him, but I've politely declined in a way that even my mother would be proud of. (Although she would much prefer that I be spending more time with him...)

8**.32**

So, I gave in. He _begged_. And I can't resist begging.

**8.33**

The gang kept giggling when Remus came over, dropped to his knees, and pleaded. He looked like a little puppy! I couldn't help it- too cute!

**8.35**

_I looked like a puppy?_

No one ever said that looking like an animal was a bad thing, now did they?

_Well, you certainly didn't. _

Haha. You're such a laugh sometimes! Not.

_Do you ever concentrate on anything?_

Not really, no. Is it bothering you? I'm sure I could pay somebody to just write this bloody essay for me.

_That's a great way to look at it. Your mum wouldn't be too pleased._

Yes, well... My dad would think it brilliant of me to do so!

_But that's your dad. He lets you get away with everything._

I know. Remember that time I brought some soap to Diagon Alley?

_... Oh no._

Oh yes! And then I put it into the fountain while my mum wasn't looking. It was such a riot, Remus!

_Yes, I agree it was, but it was rather immature of you. You __were__ going into fifth year..._

Maturity is over-rated. You're only young once, I say! By the way, why has Sirius gone back to glaring at me?

_Oh... Well, er..._

Remus... Tell me.

_He kind of found out that you weren't actually at Hogsmeade with his brother..._

How?

_Some first year girls told him._

Fan club?

_Fan club. He doesn't know what you were doing instead, though. Otherwise you probably wouldn't have seen me around today._

Sirius wouldn't do that... You're one of his best mates! So, what does he think I was doing?

_I don't know... Neither does he, from what he's said of it. I think he's just upset that he got turned down. _

Well, talk about maturity levels.

_I know... I suppose we all just think that rejection is James' thing, and it won't happen to us._

Why haven't you asked anyone out then?

_Just because._

... Are you a man-lover?

_What? No! No._

Just joking... Right, well... Do you fancy anyone then?

_Yes, but..._

But?

_I'm not going to ask her._

Why?!

_She's too good for me._

Remus Lupin, take that back! You are a marvelous person!

_I suppose I am, but I'm not good enough for her._

And how would you know that?

_I just do, Elizabeth. _

You have the capacity to be a blathering idiot, you know.

_If you knew, Lizzie, you'd understand._

Well, tell me then!

_I just can't, alright?_

Fine... Do you want to just pay those seventh years to finish these essays for us? I have a pouch of galleons...

_Sounds, what does your dad say all the time? Smashing?_

Yeah.

_That sounds smashing, then._

**9.25, 6th year Girls' Dormitory**

So, I managed to hunt down some seventh year smart people (hard to imagine finding them in Gryffindor Tower). And the essays will be done by tomorrow morning. They were quite kind about it, but, then again, I gave both blokes 12 galleons each. I'm such a giving person.

**9.29**

Well, Lily is scolding me for writing instead of actively participating in Truth or Truth. So, I shall write tomorrow.

**17th of September, 9.27, History of Magic, Next to Sirius**

Oi, Sirius!

_What do you want, Reynolds?_

I thought we were on a first-name basis?

_Not anymore._

Oh, get off it! Just because I didn't go to Hogsmeade!

_You lied to me!_

So? Perhaps I didn't want to go to Hogsmeade with you!

_So you say you're going with Regulus? _

Well, he was the first person that came to mind! I didn't think you'd be in such a huff about it!

_Did you really think I would be fine with it? He's my brother! And he's younger! ... And he's a Slytherin!_

What is it with this House Prejudice you Gryffindors all have?

_You're a Gryffindor, you twit!_

Yes, I know. But I'm not so prejudiced against everyone else! We're not going to get anywhere if we all hate each other, you know!

_You don't know what they're like._

Yes, I do. My grandfather was a Slytherin and he's perfectly fine. And I've spoken with your brother, I'll have you know.

_Impressed you, did he?_

He was actually very kind to me, Sirius. More so than you are being right now.

_Don't be ridiculous._

You're just upset because you can't handle the fact that you got turned down.

_What?_

You read me. Erm, what I wrote, I mean. You read what I wrote.

_... Right. It's not that. I just can't believe you'd lie._

Sirius, I know you're just upset about being turned down. Remus told me.

_Is that all he told you? I hope you realise he's keeping a lot of things from you. I don't know why, seeing as you're a better mate to him than we are, but..._

It's none of your business, Sirius. He doesn't have to tell me things unless he wants to. I don't have a need to know everything about people.

_Well, let's just say he has a "furry little problem." _

You really ought to act your age, Sirius. Maybe then I'd be interested in you.

**10.16, Charms, Next to some Ravenclaw Twit who I Don't Know**

Sirius is stupid. That's my conclusion.

**10.17**

Really, the boy needs to act his age.

**10.33**

Charms is so boring when we're not actually practising, well, charms.

**10.35**

Piddly-diddly... Really, who takes notes?

**10.36**

Obviously the Ravenclaw girl beside me.

**10.37**

What a wanker.

**10.39**

Fetchez la vache!!!!!!! Ahahahahaha.

**10.41**

And the fish-slapping dance. Yeah, I tried to get Lily (Potter!) to perform the fish-slapping dance with me at her house over hols... She actually went along with it! But instead of using fish, we used her mum's spatulas.

**10.43**

It was madly brilliant!

**10.44**

Then we tried it with Petunia's clean knickers.

**10.45**

I put a pair over my head while I slapped Lily with Petunia's rather small bras.

**10.46**

Then Petunia came into the kitchen and saw what we were doing.

**10.47**

She screamed at us.

**10.48**

It made me laugh.

**12.13, Lunch, Great Hall, Avec Le Gang**

I'm working on my french! Not really, but oh well. Best not to tell my mum that. So, here I am, eating. The house elves aren't starving me, as my mum is convinced. Speaking of, I haven't received a letter from her today. Things are finally looking up!

**12.16**

Especially because I just catapulted a pea at Anne's face and it hit her right between the eyes!

**12.17**

What a wonderful life...

**2.16, Transfiguration, Bored, Next to Lily**

McGonagall is talking about animagus forms... Again. Perhaps it's a sign?

**2.19**

My Inner Eye is working! I'm supposed to ask McGonagall about potentially becoming an animagus!

**2.23**

I wonder what form I would take...

**2.25**

Maybe a fish?

**2.26**

What a right load of bullocks! If I turned into a fish, I wouldn't be able to survive out of water!

**2.27**

Unless I was a super-fish...

**2.28**

I don't want to be a fish animagus anymore... How about a ferret?

**2.29**

Yeah! Ferrets are cute! And small... And slinky... I don't know.

**2.30**

Ferret fetish? Haha. Try saying that ten times fast!

**2.31**

I suppose a dog would be alright...

**2.32**

I don't know.

**2.36**

What would be something that's like my personality?

**2.37**

Alas, I do not know what animal I would like to be.

**2.39**

Just realised that, no matter what animal I'd like to change into, I won't be able to choose.

**2.40**

Oh, woe is me!

**2.42**

Look on the bright side, Elizabeth. Whatever animal it is, it can't be that bad since you have a lovely personality.

**2.44**

Oh Merlin, I've resorted to giving myself counseling.

**--------------------------------------**

Sorry that this chapter was so much shorter than the others! I know you were probably expecting something funnier and longer, but school starts tomorrow and I'm busy trying to get ready for that. Anyway, I posted an accompanying oneshot called "Dear Elizabeth." It's rather funny- letters from Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds. Sure to make you happy that your parents aren't barmy! As always, the Harry Potter world belongs to J.K. Rowling. "Fetchez la vache" and the Fish Slapping Dance belong to the genius minds of Monty Python. And cookies and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream to whoever can find the quote from "Hot Fuzz." I hope you still enjoyed this chapter and keep reading. I will update as often as possible, but I have a heavy course load and school has to come first, sadly. But I will make as much time for updating as possible. Particularly on weekends! Best of luck to others who will be returning to school and **please, please, please, pretty please Review**! Yours always.


	10. Tailius Maximus, Minimus, & All That Lot

**6.02, Great Hall, Dinner, With the Gang Minus Anne**

... I still can't believe I was giving myself counseling. It isn't as if I'm in dire need of it or anything...

**6.04**

Or perhaps I am... Who knows?

**6.05**

It's quite disgusting watching Anne over at the Ravenclaw table with her bloody boyfriend. Snuggling and all that rot.

**6.06**

I'm not jealous of her either. I don't need a boyfriend to snuggle and spoon-feed and such.

**6.07**

But simply because I don't need one, doesn't mean I don't want one.

**6.08**

Shut up, Brain!

**6.10**

Lily, I have a dilemma!

_What would that be? ... And why can't we just talk normally?_

Because I don't want to have to document the whole conversation and worry about misquoting you.

_Right. What's your dilemma, then?_

I don't need a boyfriend, do I?

_Of course you do, Lizzie! _

You don't have a boyfriend and you get on fine.

_I've had boyfriends in the past, though, whereas you have not._

Well, perhaps I like being a free bird?!

_Oh Merlin. I know you don't! Why else would you be glaring at Anne or scowling whenever Bridget mentions her boyfriend?_

I don't scowl! Scowling is an unattractive thing.

_Then you're making yourself look unattractive. It's a miracle Remus fancies you._

He does not fancy me!

_Why don't you just listen to us? He does! It's obvious!_

He's only my best friend! You lot are just blowing everything way out of proportion!

_Well, what about Sirius then? That's obvious._

Yeah, I know he fancies me. It's a bit annoying actually. I'm starting to think he may be bipolar.

_It's possible... Why don't you give him a go?_

I thought you hated Sirius.

_I do. But he seems to fancy you, so..._

Lily, I will not succumb to him. He's only decent to look at, anyway.

_Ah, so the truth finally comes out!_

Oh, shut it.

**6.22**

That was possibly the least productive conversation I've ever had with Lily.

**6.24**

I'm getting the sudden urge to yell "Fetchez la vache," but I probably shouldn't. The professors might get mad.

**6.25**

Although it would be such a laugh, as per usual.

**6.29**

I'm not really that hungry... So, I'll head up to the Common Room.

**6.48, Sitting at the Foot of a Suit of Armour**

I just felt like stopping... You know, to rest a bit. Nothing exciting on the way up here, just thinking about the possibilities of dating Sirius.

**6.50**

Not that I would actually date him, mind you. Just trying to figure out why the majority of the female population seems to reduce to a puddle when he's around.

**6.52**

Who knows, maybe he won't age well? And then the sorry girl that gets stuck married to the bloke will be married to an ugly man by the time they reach 37 or so.

**6.53**

I, on the other hand, will age gracefully. Look at my parents! They're pretty old (as in, 49), and they certainly don't look it! It's amazing, really.

**6.54**

Although by the time I'm 49, there'll probably be a Potion of Youth because someone will have found that ever-elusive fountain.

**6.55**

Oh, look. It's Remus Lupin.

**7.24, Gryffindor Common Room, On an Over-Stuff Chair**

Well, Remus came to find me. He thought I got lost. Pfft. As if _I_ would get lost after six years at Hogwarts. What does he take me for? An imbecile?

**7.26**

It wouldn't surprise me. But that's alright. I love him anyway.

**7.27**

In a completely platonic way, you know.

**7.28**

What would it be like to date Remus?

**7.29**

I can't take this! Why am I even considering these barmy proposals of my so-called friends?

**7.31**

Gasp! I know why!

**7.32**

I officially blame Bridget for my brain's overactivity in the Relationship Thought Department seeing as she so kindly "fore-saw" my future dating of Sirius and then Remus.

**7.35**

Yes, I have different departments in my brain. Like at the Ministry.

**7.38**

I think I'm going to go ask McGonagall about becoming an Animagus now.

**7.39**

You know, since I have nothing better to do except assignments, and, really, those are pointless anyway.

**7.46, En Route to McGonagall's Office**

I just barely avoided getting mauled by someone's ruddy cat. Honestly, the thing was huge! I have never seen a domestic feline of such proportions!

**7.47**

It probably ate a house elf... Or some of Peter's shrine.

**7.48**

Perhaps I should alert him?

**7.49**

Ha, yeah right!

**8.36, Post-Visiting McGonagall's Office, Return Trip to Gryffindor Tower**

So, I should probably wait to tell you what conspired behind closed doors, but I have two things to say before I forget them, because I know I will:

A) Professor McGonagall has very nice plaid, taffeta curtains.

B) That woman wears _far_ too much green for being head of Gryffindor House.

**9.02, 6th Year Girls' Dormitory**

Alright, I am safe and snuggled up in my bed. I didn't run into that cat again, which is quite fortuitous, seeing as that thing was right mad. I have never seen a cat with it's knickers in such a twist. I wonder, if cat's could wear little kitty knickers, would they? Anyway, moving on to the more important matter at hand: Becoming an Animagus. She's given me two books to read and they both have incredibly long titles that I do not wish to write down. McGonagall told me she was glad that I wanted to become an animagus because I'm certainly capable of doing it, with my Transfiguration skills. So, once I've read the books, she asked me to speak with her again, and then we'd talk to Professor Dumbledore who would, in turn, speak with the Ministry and get official approval. I asked the professor if I could tell anyone about it, and she said she didn't think it a wise idea. Although she's allowing me to tell Remus, since he's my best mate and she knows I have a hard time keeping exciting information regarding myself from him. ... Did that even make sense? Oh well. Anyway, she said she'd owl my parents, which takes the burden off me. Plus, I'm a bit afraid to owl my mum- it may bring another onslaught of letters and I don't want that.

**9.10**

Really, I'll probably die of a horrible paper cut.

**9.11**

That'd make a comical newspaper headline.

**9.13**

Girl, 16, Death by Massive Paper Cut, Mother to Blame for Horrible Tragedy.

**9.14**

Ahahahaha!

**9.17**

That's such a laugh. I think I'm going to try to finish my Potions essay. Till the morning, then.

**20th of September, 9.16, Lounging in the Common Room, Good Morning England!**

Morning... A deer licks the snow off another deer's coat...

**9.17**

I'd be an awful poet, I think. Or freeform just isn't my style.

**9.19**

Breakfast was boring. Peter accidentally spilled juice down his front and Sirius refused to acknowledge me.

**9.21**

Which apparently is more difficult than one would think... Because I'd talk to him and he'd smile, open his mouth to speak, but then scrunch up his face and look away from me, glaring at the wall.

**9.23**

Poor boy. Well, I'm not sure what we're going to do all day.

**9.25**

Saturdays really are quite a bore when there isn't a Quidditch game or Hogsmeade trip...

**9.27**

Perhaps I'll suggest to James that we practise Quidditch...

**9.36**

Jamie-poo!

_Yeah?_

Can we have a Quidditch practise today?

_No._

Why not?!

_Because, I don't feel like practising on a Saturday._

My! This is a travesty! James Potter doesn't want to practise Quidditch? Are you ill?

_No, I'm not. It's a Saturday, Elizabeth. Don't you have anything to do? Like snog Moony or something?_

No, I do not. What would give you that idea?

_Well, what else could the two of you be doing together all the time?_

Oh, I don't know, studying?

_You never study. Remus told us._

Actually, I do pay attention to him when he's trying to help me. It just doesn't look like it.

_Leave me alone, I'm planning ways to ask Lily out._

It's never going to work, Mr. Potter.

_Shut it!_

**9.48**

Well, isn't he a snippy one?

**9.49**

I feel like heading out. A bit of fresh air should do me some good.

**10.03, En Route to Yonder Outside Green**

I'm taking a stroll. I feel quite Victorian and such.

**10.04**

I wonder if the Giant Squid will be splashing about today...

**10.06**

Speaking of the Giant Squid, I named it back in third year.

**10.07**

Hester the Giant Squid.

**10.08**

Ahahahaha!

**10.17, Up in a Tree, Near the Lake**

Sadly, Hester is not splashing about. Most eventful thing on the way down here: I walked straight through the Bloody Baron while I was laughing about the squid's name. He was right mad at me.

**10.20**

Just scared an ickle little firstie. Boy's name was Jeremy.

**10.21**

So, I quite cleverly said, in a _very_ foreboding voice, "Jeremy... I am your father..."

**10.23**

Such a laugh! He ran away screaming for his mum.

**10.24**

Or some relative of his. I was laughing far too hard to hear him correctly.

**10.28**

Piddly-Diddly... I wonder what it would be like to be a possum?

**10.29**

I mean, you'd get to hang upside down by your tail!

**10.30**

... I wonder if there is such a thing as tail muscles?

**10.31**

Would it be like Glutius Maximus?

**10.32**

Except wouldn't it be called Tailius Maximus, Minimus and all that lot?

**10.33**

Latin is fascinating. Unless your barmy father has you translating it when you ought to be learning how to ride a broom.

**10.35**

Such a sad childhood I had...

**10.39**

By the way, I'm not sure that "minimus" is legitimate Latin. I was just making that bit up, as is my way.

**10.42**

Ah! Hester just waved a tentacle!

**10.43**

I wonder if he/she is a relative of Nessie?

**10.44**

Nessie, the mysterious creature of the loch! And Hester, distant cousin of Nessie, the mysterious creature of the lake!

**10.46**

If I'm in the library this week-end, I'll be sure to look it up.

**10.47**

And it may also be good to find out if Hester is a female or male...

**10.48**

Not that I'm going to change his/her name. As, really, that's what everyone calls him/her.

**10.49**

I mean, if I were Hester, and then some barmy student found out I was really a male, I wouldn't want my name changed. Not only would I be gender-confused, I'd also be name-confused.

**10.52**

... Hey, it's Mr. Lupin!

**10.56**

He's asked me why I'm up in the tree. I told him I'm trying to scare first years and watch Hester. He's climbing up right now.

**10.57**

It's not fair that he's tall, you know. He didn't have such a struggle coming up.

**10.58, Mr. Lupin has Joined the Tree-Branch Sitter On-ers (or, in this case, On-er)**

Glad you could join me, dear!

_Pleasure._

So, how do you do this fine Saturday boring, I mean, er, morning?

_I'm bored. James is plotting ways to get Lily to go out with him, Sirius is off snogging someone, and Peter was sneaking some cheese under his bed last I saw._

... Fascinating creatures, the male species.

_Tell me about it._

I'm sure you already know.

_I was being sarcastic, Lizabeth._

I know.

_Good._

So...

_So..._

Why don't we just chat normally?

_I'd much rather prefer that to writing._

**11.08**

Well, I'll be talking with Remus... You know, normally.

**11.09**

And we won't be snogging!

**--------------------------------------**

Well, there we have it. Chapter 10. Done, complete, yay! I hope it was up to par, but, who knows. My brain has been overactive with school starting and all my activities beginning. I'm so busy! But I will certainly continue to write. (It's number three on my priority list.) As always, the World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and "Fetchez la vache" to Monty Python. For those who are curious, I'm having a great time at school (surprisingly) minus marching band- if you can avoid it, I suggest doing just that. That's my advice for you. Thank you all for being wonderful readers and for reviewing! It means so much to me. Please, **please keep reviewing** because I love to come home, get online, and read the reviews! (Is that weird? Probably...) Oh, and if anyone has any challenges for me, message me! I'm taking challenge requests (oneshots, or two-three chapters max). So, feel free to make a suggestion either by way of review or message. As always, Yours.


	11. Karma's Knickers of Payback

**11.49, Hospital Wing**

Well, aren't I graceful? I managed to fall right out of the tree and it was all Remus' fault!

**11.50**

Alright, maybe it wasn't really his fault. I was laughing too hard and I fell off the branch and I didn't really realise that I was falling until I was halfway to the ground.

**11.51**

I managed to break my left arm, which I'm happy about, because if it was my right, I wouldn't be writing!

**11.52**

Right... Writing... Haha!

**11.55**

Waiting for Madame Poppy-doodles.

**11.56**

Yes, I did just call Madame Pomfrey "Poppy-doodles." Sounds much more pleasant and overall less severe, you know?

**11.58**

I could've nicknamed her Madame Poopy-sniffles, you know.

**11.59**

But, you know, that would be ridiculous.

**12.13, Exiled to the Gryffindor Common Room**

Remus says I'm a danger to myself, so I have to stay in the common room the rest of the day.

**12.14**

What a right load of bullocks!

**12.15**

Who does he think he is, telling me what to do? He's a _boy_, for Merlin's sake!

**12.16**

I am woman! I shall have no captor! Hear me roar!

**12.17**

ROOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!!!

**12.18**

For your information, I didn't really roar. I just wrote it.

**12.20**

Alright, I may have squeaked just a little bit.

**12.22**

I've replicated the squeak-like noise and I've decided it sounded a bit like a dying chipmunk.

**12.23**

Have you ever heard a chipmunk squeak? Of course not! They sort of, erm, chirp.

**12.25**

How about a dying ferret?

**12.27**

Right, well... Er, I'll go now.

**12.29**

You know, I'll be too busy sounding like a drying ferret to write.

**3.16, Sneaking about in a Sneaky, Stealthy Way, En Route a la Kitchens**

I managed to escape the common room. Lucky for me Mr. Lupin the Guard had fallen asleep and now I am heading down the le kitchens.

**3.18**

I've always wondered why, when you're hungry, your stomach kind of growls at you...

**3.19**

Why am I asking you? You're a _book_There will be no stomach growling here!

**3.29, In the Kitchens**

Have I ever told you the extent of my love and passion for food?

**3.33**

You've probably figured that out simply based upon how much extra time I spend in the kitchens.

**3.34**

Or you may think I only spend so much time here because I'm attracted to house elves.

**3.35**

I'm not, if you were wondering. As I believe I've said before, they bloody scary me.

**3.39**

Ack! Sirius has entered my lair!

**3.40**

... Sirius is sitting down across from me... Where is this going?

**3.42**

I think I'm going to spew!!!

**3.43**

He keeps winking at every house elf that scurries by!

**3.45**

Does he even realise he's sitting across from _me_? Has he completely forgotten how much he hates me?

**3.49**

Black, you do know who this is, don't you?

_Yes. You're the only person I know who has their daily conversations in a bloody book._

Don't curse at my notebook!

_Bloody, bloody, bloody._

That's mature, Black. Really mature.

_I was only joking, Elizabeth._

What is with you, you twot!

_I want to know why you didn't want to go to Hogsmeade with me._

Haven't we already been through this? I mean, honestly, Sirius. You're so full of yourself, it amazes me how much you it at each meal.

_Clever._

Yes, I know. That's not why you're here, I don't believe you.

_What were you doing, then? _

None of your concern.

_Want to go to Hogsmeade with me __next__ time?_

No.

_Fancy a snog._

With you?

_Yes. Who else would you fancy a snog with? Santa Claus? Merlin? ... Dumbledore?_

No, no, and no. Nor do I want to snog you.

_They tell me I'm talented._

Who's they?

_Oh, you know._

Your fan club? Or your hate club?

_... I have a hate club?_

Yeah. All the girls you've broken up with. Did you really expect them to still love you?

_Right, well. You know where to find me should you ever need some Sirius Loving._

**4.02**

He did not just say Sirius Loving.

**4.03**

The images in my brain are scarring me for life.

**4.04**

Stop, brain, stop! No more kinky thoughts!

**4.07**

Not that I'm imagining myself with Sirius Black.

**4.08**

Oh no, certainly not.

**4.10**

Why does my brain have to be so confusing? I mean, I see Sirius and my mind goes blank except for the, "Hot, hot, hot!!" thoughts. He's a prick!

**4.11**

And I'm above fancying pricks like him. He's not even in my league...

**4.12**

I DO NOT FANCY HIM!

**4.15**

Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

**4.16**

Ahahaha! Ponty Mython always cheers me up!

**4.17**

Or is it Monty Python?

**4.18**

... Or Mary Poppins?

**4.20**

I really don't know. It's just barmy and filled with hilarious whatnot.

**5.34, Aimlessly Wandering the Halls**

So... Bored...

**5.35**

Ow! I just ran into a suit of armour!

**5.36**

What is it with me today? Really!

**5.37**

Falling out of a tree, running into armour, making dying ferret noises...

**5.39**

I've gone all topsy-turvy!

**5.40**

I must consult the gang! Maybe I've been poisoned by Black, and that was why he was all chipper and such!

**5.42**

Or I'm very, very ill.

**5.44**

What if I have some obscure disease from the Dark Ages that neither wizard or muggle medicine can cure?!

**5.46**

I'm too young to die!!

**5.49**

... I beg of you, Merlin, spare me of your Arthurian wrath!

**5.52**

I suppose I should start writing my will...

**5.54**

Wait, but there is a dim light at the end of the corridor!

**5.57, Climbing up the Stairs**

I don't think I've ever attempted to write whilst going up stairs! I must record this as a new feat! Today is really looking up for m

**5.59**

Oh, come on, Karma!

**6.00**

Really, what did I do to get Karma's Knickers of Payback in a twist?

**6.01**

Nothing, I tell you!

**6.03**

What did I do to deserve tripping up the stairs on a moving staircase, which then stopped moving and I consequently landed, boob-to-foot on Remus Lupin in front of the entire House of Gryffindor?

**6.04**

Honestly!

**6.09, En Route to Great Hall**

I feel like an idiot.

**6.10**

Actually, as it were, I _am_ an idiot, according to James.

**6.11**

He's such a lovely fellow, isn't he?

**6.14, Great Hall, Dinner, Avec le Gang**

Yes! Made it down to the Gryffindor Table without an incidents! Maybe Karma got bored of me. It's understandable, though. I'd be bored of me too. Anyway, Lily is busy ranting and raving about James again. All her talking about him really does come off as her actually liking him. I must alert her right away.

**6.17**

Apparently, for all that I talk about Remus, it's lead the entire female population of Hogwarts to the conclusion that I fancy him. Which I've said on countless occasions that I don't.

**6.19**

He's on the Last Resort list, though.

**6.20**

Although I suppose he can also go on the List of Potential Possibles, which is really a step above the Last Resort list.

**6.21**

Argh! I'm promoting Lily's statement about me talking about Remus!

**6.22**

Yeesh, why do I so often find my mind wandering to him?

**--------------------------------------**

Sorry it's been so long! School is really hectic and such. You all can thank taliapony for this post. I wrote it up in an hour, so, if there are misspellings, forgive me. I'll try to fix anything I notice. And also forgive me if it isn't up to the funniness-par. Yeah... Anyway, as always, thank you so much for reading! And I sincerely apologize for my lack of updates. I hope you all are having fun in school and aren't too stressed out yet. The "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" quote obviously belongs to the brilliant, brilliant men behind Monty Python. And a thank you to Ms. Rowling for letting fans like me borrow from her work. I hope you enjoyed it and I can't wait for your reviews. Which means, **please, please, please, please review as much as you possibly can**! I'll try to have another update out next weekend, but who knows. Keep reading!


	12. Looking Quite Noble and Poised

**24th of October, 6.17 in the Evening, Feeling Quite Stealthy and Such**

Haha! On this glorious Friday, I have finally recaptured you, oh wonderful journal o' mine! Now, I swear I did not give you up willingly. Actually, I had no idea you were missing until a couple hours after you were captured as a Prisoner of War. You must let me explain! Lily and Bridget deemed it necessary to hold you hostage. It's been more than three weeks! You have no idea what the extent of my withdrawal symptoms were! I resorted to writing all my thoughts on my arms. I went abso-bloody-lutely barmy! Curse you, Lily and Bridget!

**6.25**

Well, that was a bit over-dramatic, even for my standards.

**6.26**

Right-o! Back to my point: I had to agree that I would not write in you every moment of the day. (Ha, yeah right.) But they agreed that I could retrieve you, Dearest Journal, if I promised to have normal conversations. So, I will try my best.

**6.28**

Oh, did you know that Wednesday is Halloween? There's going to be a "special" Hogsmeade trip so we can try out this new Yankee Wizarding Tradition of "Trick-Er-Treating," as they say. Seriously, sounds like a load of bullocks to me.

**6.29**

Wasn't it enough that I had to dress up in little Kraken costumes and dinosaur costumes when my parents had their annual Halloween get-togethers?

**6.31**

Apparently not.

**6.34**

Bloody Americans. Leave it to them to find time to mass-produce and commercialise everything!

**6.38**

Argh! I haven't even got a costume yet! You can't beg for candy and scare ickle little firsties without a costume!

**6.39**

Desperate times call for desperate measures...

**6.47, En Route to the Kitchens, Stuck on Presently Moving Staircase**

I hunger! Surely I'll be able to brainstorm costume ideas on a full stomach!

**6.49, Approaching the Landing**

And yes, I do realise that I already had dinner.

**6.52**

You don't understand my complex eating rituals!

**7.03, In the Kitchens**

... Hark! There are no house elves... I bet they're at the pub...

**7.04**

What's this? ... A coconut?

**7.05**

Do you know what they do with coconuts in Ponty Mython? ... Er, Monty Python, I mean.

**7.06**

They make them into Clip-Clop Noisemakers, of course!

**7.08**

Alright, I have secured the area. No house elves...

**7.09**

It's Clip-Clop Noisemaker time!

**7.14**

You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up, put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up... Doctor!!! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! I said Doctor!!!

**7.16**

I really don't know how that song goes. Anyway, the coconut is currently draining.

**7.17**

I wonder how a coconut found its way to the Hogwarts Kitchens... I suppose an African swallow could've brought it...

**7.18**

Which is exactly why we should switch from owls to swallows for our mail delivery system!

**7.26**

The Clip-Clop Noisemakers have been cracked opened, drained, and are now completely ready to do their job!

**7.35, After My Grand Entrance, Occupying an Over-Stuffed Armchair**

That was _amazing_! Merlin's balls, seriously! I can't believe you were unable to see it! If only you had eyes, journal...

**7.37**

So, I shall retell my Moment of Supreme Greatness: on the way back to the Common Room I happened upon a lovely little Gryffindor first year. And, you know, I just love them oh-so much. Anyway, I may have bribed/threatened him to make the clip-clop noises with the coconuts all the way back to the Common Room whilst I was behind him, looking quite noble and poised atop my invisible, almost-as-noble-as-myself steed. Of course, upon entering the Common Room, I tossed my hair in a very Prince Charming-like fashion. But the whole moment was ruined when Black looked at me and asked, "What the bloody-?" So now, I sit comfortably in my red armchair, my wonderful, handmade Clip-Cloppers in my lap.

**7.46**

The gang is talking about what they are going as for the Halloween Festivities.

**7.47**

I feel quite left out. Thus, I shall ponder!

**7.48**

I am in deep pondering-ness, though obviously not so deep that I can't write...

**7.52**

I could go as a Beatle! Like, Paul... Or Ringo! (Only because Ringo is a very cool name.)

**7.53**

Anne shot down that idea.

**7.54**

Barmy bat.

**7.55**

Hmm... I should be an animal that starts with a 'p'... A possum! Or a penguin, a porpoise, a platypus, erm... A lioPleurodon!

**7.56**

Just ran my ideas by the gang... And they are shaking their heads to each of them. Oh! I should be a Parsnip!

**7.59**

According to Lily, a parsnip is not an animal. I think it is, though, since it once was a living thing before someone killed it. Honestly. If something is living, I'm automatically categorising it as an animal. (This is why I'm absolute crap at Magical Creatures and Herbology.)

**8.03**

... I could be a knight. That would be quite cool. I could even get that stupid first year to be my Clip-Clop Noisemaker. Then we would both have costumes!

**8.05**

Actually, I did recently read a trilogy whilst I was deprived of writing my thoughts down every few minutes... It was about hobbits who, under extraordinary circumstances, managed to overcome temptation and evil to save Middle-Earth. Just goes to show you that short people have done a great deal, even though I suppose it wasn't real. But in my mind it was, because, honestly, Boromir, Faramir and Eomer were _fine_. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that they were godly.

**8.09**

I could be a hobbit!!!!!

**8.14, In Girls' Dormitory**

... Lily Evans has just insulted me!

**8.15**

Alright, maybe not really, but still.

**8.16**

Let me relive this absolute travesty:

"So, have you decided what you are going to go as for Halloween, Elizabeth?"

"Yes!" I said, quite enthusiastically. (If you couldn't already tell from the exclamation point.)

"What will you be, then?"

"Guess! Guess, guess, guess!" More excitement.

"... Not a pirate, er... I don't know."

"Hint: a short person."

"You're going to be a _midget_?!"

**8.21**

Honestly! There is a difference between a hobbit and a midget. Everyone knows that. Lily is barking mad.

**8.23**

It is beyond me why Potter even pursues her and her madness.

**8.25**

Haha.

**8.28**

The Fuzz are gonna rub Lily out for insultin' me.

**8.29**

Except they probably won't, seeing as I have no connection whatsoever to the police force; wizarding, metropolitan, or otherwise.

**8.32**

Although that would be very cool if I did.

**8.47**

... I'm quite bored. Nothing to do. I suppose I could bother Remus, eh?

**8.52, En Route Back Down to Common Room**

Bother, bother, bother, bother, bother, bother, bother...

**8.56**

Mr. Lupin!

_... I thought Lily and Bridget confiscated this?_

Ha. Lies, all lies!

_Actually they showed it to me. _

_Not what you wrote, if that's what you're worried about._

No, I just... Erm...

_It's alright, Lizabeth. Everyone knows you fancy Sirius._

I do not! Black is an absolute wanker!

_I was joking, but if you're going to be defensive about it..._

Drop it. Anyway, what are you going to be for Halloween?

_Oh, I'm not going. I have to, er, visit my aunt._

Is something wrong?

_She's sick, is all. Nothing big._

Right, well, I hope you have fun with that. I'll save you some of my candy if you'd like.

_Thanks._

So...

_How did your withdrawal go?_

Not so well, as you can see. I'm back to my old habits. But at least I won't have Slughorn constantly telling me I'm going to be poisoned by the ink seeping through my skin and into my blood system.

_True. _

How would he know anyway? Unless he's been poisoning it...

_I wouldn't hold it against him._

I beg your pardon!

_He's probably sick of your "Fetchez la vache"-ing._

Gasp! One could never tire of "Fetchez la vache!"

_Actually..._

Remus, what is with you?

_I'm tired._

**9.08**

... He left. I wonder what's got him so off. Well, maybe his aunt being sick, but...

**9.09**

I shall not fret. It's not my business anyway.

**9.11**

Maybe it's his time of month?

**9.13**

Ahahaha! Humour! Ahahahahahahaha!

**9.14**

That was quite hilarious, I must admit. High-five myself in my head!

**9.15**

Whoo!

**9.20, Sitting on the Floor in front of the Fireplace**

Ohm, ohm, ohm...

**9.22**

Yeah... Meditation isn't my thing.

**9.23**

I feel quite silly now, so I am thus going to retire. (Also, Sirius just came down the stairs in nothing but his underthings, and I want to spare myself of the sight. My poor virgin eyes!)

**25th of October, 8.23 in the Evening, Library**

So, I've had a rather uneventful day that consisted of mostly sleeping, eating, and clip-clopping. I love those coconuts. Too bad Pince confiscated them as soon as I clopped into the library. But I am here to study hobbit garb and am not distracted by my Clip-Cloppers! Kudos to you, new librarian who I think is a hag!

**8.39, Hiding Behind an Encyclopedia of Middle Earth**

I'm hiding only because Sirius just waltzed in. Honestly, who does he think he is?

**8.41**

I mean, he swaggered down the stairs last night in nothing but his boxers (which were plaid, by the way), and now he's swaggering/waltzing into the library. Sirius Black _never_ steps foot in the library!

**8.44**

He hasn't seen me!

**8.46**

I have to escape! With or without my noisemakers!

**8.49, Slinking to Pince's Desk **

Alright, so I concluded that my hand-made noisemakers are essential to my sixth year experience, and I must rescue them.

**8.52, Stealthily Putting Books Back**

He has not seen me yet! ... Or, at least I don't think he has... Viva la Me!

**9.17, Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory**

Oh Merlin.

**9.18**

Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, oh Merlin!

**9.20**

I was being so stealthy and all that lot, you know?

**9.21**

And now I'm stuck locked up in the dormitory, afraid to go down to the Common Room in the fear that _he_ might be down there...

**9.25**

I was just putting the last book back, a completely innocent task...

**9.26**

And then I...

**9.27**

Well, he...

**9.28**

I turned around and he was standing right in front of me...

**9.29**

So there I was stuck between a bookshelf and Sirius Black...

**9.30**

He scared me half to death, you know...

**9.32**

And then his face was getting closer to mine, and I... I...

**9.35**

Oh, Merlin, _I snogged Sirius Black!!_

**--------------------------------------**

Well, sorry that it's been so long! I've been super busy, but Thanksgiving Break is upon me! Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. I'm going to try to move the story a little bit faster now, so Elizabeth probably won't be making seventy-five billion entries per day. I kind of hope to get closer to the actual date now, which I should be able to accomplish within the next five days! So, as always, thank you all for reading and for putting up with my lack of updates. I'm sure that nearly killed you. (I hope it didn't, because then I would feel very guilty.) Anyway, disclaimer time: I do not own anything that you recognize from the world of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. Also, Monty Python stuff belongs to Monty Python. And the world of Lord of the Rings belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. Everything else belongs to moi. So, keep reading and review! Yes, review, dear readers. **Reviews make the world go 'round.** Oh, actually, I have a **challenge** for you! The person to post the 100th review will get to choose the next little side-story thing that I do for _True Confessions_ (i.e. _Dear Elizabeth_, _Happy 16th Birthday_). For whoever does, they should message me and tell me their ideas, and we shall further discuss it then. There is your inspiration. So, review like mad and keep reading! Much Love.


	13. All is Bright and Cheery and Such

**26th of October, 7.01, Great Hall, Breakfast, At the End of the Gryffindor Table**

Ahahaha. I was in such a panic last night...

**7.02**

Oh look! _The Prophet_ has arrived!

**7.07**

Funnies were absolutely hilarious. The Minister was doing backflips in one! ... Crossword time!

**7.09**

What in Merlin's trousers is wrong with this crossword?

**7.10**

One Across doesn't fit!

**7.11**

... Oh Merlin.

**7.12**

I can't spell...

**7.13**

Actually, I can. I just have Sirius on my mind.

**7.14**

Shut up, Brain!

**7.15**

... Why does his name have to sound like an actual word?!

**7.16**

"Seriously" and "Siriusly" are two completely different spellings.

**7.17**

Oh no, I'm not having a nervous breakdown!

**7.18**

Hahaha. All is bright and cheery and such.

**7.19**

I'm not fooling anyone!!!

**7.22**

Call me paranoid, but why does everyone keep looking at me?

**7.24**

I bet they know... Oh dear Merlin, they know I snogged him!

**7.26**

Actually, on the contrary, _he_ snogged _me_.

**7.27**

But I snogged back!

**7.28**

Oh, woe is me, woe is me!

**7.33**

Ah! They've entered the Great Hall! Why are they up so early?

**7.34**

The Marauders are laughing about something... I bet they're laughing about me! Oh no! He told them! The whole school is going to know!

**7.36**

Well, at least I know the rumours are true...

**7.37**

I thought I told you to shut up, Brain!

**7.39, Under the Table**

... They can't find me here. I'm completely invisible now. So, now that I'm hidden from Marauder view, shall I tell you of last night's events after the unintentional snogfest?

**7.40**

I siriusly did not just give that whole incident a code name.

**7.41**

IT'S SPELLED '_SERIOUSLY_!!'

**7.43**

Alright, now that I've scolded myself, I'll get on with it. So, the Gang came up in quite a fuss, demanding I tell them why I sprinted through the Common Room and why Sirius was so avid and determined in his pursuit of me. I told them. Actually, I didn't. They stole you and read what I wrote. And, oh my, Hell broke loose. I mean, it's not as though I wanted him to snog me. Really, I didn't. I wanted to escape! You were there! Defend me, you mute, lifeless journal!

**7.46**

Anyway, Lily had a heart attack, Anne started pirouetting, and Bridget demanded to know what I thought of his, and I quote, "incredibly luscious and kissable lips." You're not going to believe what happened after all this, though. Lily turned to Bridge and Anne, demanding that they pay up.

**7.48**

My best mates had a bet going!!!

**7.49**

Some friends, right?

**7.53**

You know what, journal? At least we have each other, you and I.

**7.54**

That's really sad. Well, I'm going to make a quick escape now.

**8.17, Gryffindor Common Room**

I'm currently lounging and watching a stirring scene of third years awaking with hangovers after discovering firewhiskey. The firewhiskey was no doubt supplied by none other than the Marauders.

**8.19**

I wouldn't trust any of them to be fathers.

**8.21**

Nope, nope, nope.

**8.27**

_So, I hear you've kissed Siri?_

Potter, why did you steal my journal from me?

_Because._

... That's mature. Sticking out our tongues is going to solve everything.

_Remember when McGonagall asked you why you were transforming Bridget into a frog? And then you stuck your tongue out at her?_

... Yeah. So?

_Exactly. Moving on- do you fancy Padfoot?_

No, I don't.

_Good, because that would put your Honourary Marauder title in jeopardy._

But it's alright for him to just snog me?

_Yup. _

What?!

_Just kidding. He said you were good, though. _

... Eh?

_Not gonna lie, Lizzie, but Sirius really likes you._

But I don't like him.

_Mmhmm. Keep telling yourself that, my dear._

Don't call me "dear," you git!

**8.33**

Honestly, who just comes up behind an innocent girl and journal-naps her journal?

**8.34**

I'll tell you who: James Pratter. I mean, Potter.

**1st of November, 11.05, Girls' Dormitory**

Merlin was last night fun! Perhaps Americans aren't so barmy after all?

**11.06**

Although I have yet to meet a sane one.

**11.07**

Or even meet an American for that matter...

**11.09**

Right! Back to last night: I yelled "Fetchez la vache" a lot. Especially at shopkeepers. I don't think they appreciated it much.

**11.11**

And I got _a lot_ of candy. As in: I will never eat candy again after last night.

**11.12**

Unless it's chocolate, of course.

**11.13**

Yeah, that's really all I remember. Lily said I had some candy James gave me and that's when I started acting "loopy." I don't remember taking anything from James, but, hey. Who knows, right?

**11.14**

Oh, I do remember avoiding Sirius at all cost. This was rather difficult seeing as he felt the need to stalk me.

**11.15**

Oh, he went as Leonidas. (_Not_ my owl.)

**11.16**

Meaning he was toga-ing it up.

**11.19**

Oh Merlin. That boy.

**11.22**

I've decided that abstinence is the key here.

**11.23**

I shall enter a muggle convent after I graduate from Hogwarts. That will solve all my problems!

**11.26**

... Except not.

**3.46, Common Room**

My mum has sent me nine letters in the past week. Le sigh.

**3.48**

Dad should really just lock her up in the basement and not let her anywhere near parchment, ink, or an owl.

**3.50**

Actually, he should chain her to the wall in the basement and then, on the desk opposite the wall she's chained to, have parchment, ink, and the bloody owl.

**3.52**

Mwahahahahaha!!!!

**3.53**

I'm feeling particularly evil right now.

**3.54**

Can't you tell by my evil smirk?

**3.55**

(Pretend you can see my evilness, journal. Humour me.)

**6.28, Great Hall, Supper-ing**

Bridget and I came up with a new word: "supper-ing." We're so clever.

**6.29**

At least we are when she isn't bothering me about Black.

**6.34**

And no, I haven't spoken with him since the incident a week ago.

**6.38**

I don't see why I should have to.

**6.39**

He's a prat, anyway.

**6.41**

Besides, isn't it his own fault for being incapable of resisting my hotness?

**6.42**

Indeed it is!

**6.49, On Moving Staircase, Avec the Gang**

Her Royal Hotness is on the moving staircase!

**6.50**

Whilst the Marauders are stuck at the landing, being tortured by Peeves.

**6.51**

Bwahahahaha!!!

**6.57, Back in the Common Room**

Really, I think I've discovered the Stroke of Evil within my soul.

**6.58**

Fear me!!!

**7.01, Girls' Dormitory**

... Alright, so, maybe I'm not so evil.

**7.02**

Why, you ask? Because evil people don't squeak when their snog-ee approaches them.

**--------------------------------------**

Alright, update number two for this week! I bet you all are very impressed (or at least you should be). Anyway, as always, J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe. Plot and unrecognizable characters are mine. "Fetchez la vache" is courtesy of Monty Python. Guess what, dear readers- today, we got snow! ... Weird having snow right before Thanksgiving. Speaking of, to my American readers, happy Thanksgiving and be sure to stuff yourselves with lots of food. And for those of you who aren't American, well, you go ahead and eat a lot of food too, alright? So, the challenge still goes, but, for Merlin's bloody sake, **don't hold off reviewing so you can be the 100th reviewer**. You can always review multiple times. **Just review for the sake of reviewing!**__ Thanks for reading, keep reviewing, and much love always.


	14. Marauders Can't Snog Other Marauders

**9.57, Girls' Dormitory**

The Gang is fast asleep. And I'm bored. Thus, I shall allez au Common Room!

**10.00, Girls' Staircase**

... I think someone's down there. Shall I chance it?

**10.01**

I shall!

**10.03, Sitting at a Table, Being **_**Very**_** Quiet**

... It's Sirius! AHHH!!!!

**10.04**

... He's turning around. I bet he heard the scratching of this bloody quill.

**10.05**

He wants me to join him...

**10.06**

Do you think I should run?

**10.07, On Sofa, As Far Away from Sirius as Possible**

Kind of weird how we're the only ones down here.

**10.08**

_Elizabeth, please talk to me!_

No.

_Please?_

Will you stop stealing my journal if I do?

_Yes._

**10.09**

There, we talked. And now he can't steal my journal.

**10.10**

He's glaring at me and now he's reaching over...

**10.11**

What the

**10.12**

_Elizabeth, you're talking to me in this bloody thing since you refuse to speak verbally._

What exactly do you want, Black?

_Are we really back to a surname-basis?_

... Maybe. What's it to ya?

_Are you American now?_

No! Blimey, they're a crazy lot.

_Tell me about it. Anyway, don't change the subject._

We weren't really talking, er, writing about anything specifically though...

_Well, we are now._

... No we're not.

_Elizabeth! Could you at least attempt to be a normal person for once?_

Alright, alright.

_... Well?_

Oh, Sirius, you're so bloody hot. I think I could ravish you know! Don't you just adore my cleavage, Siri-poo? Oh My Merlin, why are you staring at that girl? Do you think she's more attractive than I am? But look at the pain I went through this morning to get you to look at me! Have you seen my eyelashes? I stabbed myself in the eye eighty thousand times trying to get them to look just so! Oh, Sirius!

_... That was just creepy._

If you haven't noticed, dear, that's how the majority of the female population at Hogwarts acts around you, thus they are "normal."

_Well, don't be like that. Just be normal and sane Elizabeth. Please._

Fine. What was it you wanted to discuss?

_Last week at the Library._

And? What about it?

_I'm, er... I'm sorry if I, erm, caught you off guard or something. Or if you didn't fancy a snog at that particular time..._

What's this? Sirius Black not being a git?

_Haha, very funny, Lizzie. _

Actually, are you being serious?

_I'm always Sirius, love._

_Oh, come on. I was only joking, you know. _

Right. Well, erm, apology accepted, I guess...

_Good. But next time, be prepared to be snogged, alright? It's not very pleasant to be snogging an unresponsive snog-ee. _

Like there's going to be a next time, Sirius.

_You never know._

**10.24, Still on Couch**

Well, at least that is slightly cleared up... But I'm not going to snog him again...

**10.25**

I promise I won't!

**10.26, Eureka! Moment**

D'you think Sirius will know what's going on with Remus?

**10.27**

I shall ask him.

**10.29**

Hey, Sirius?

_Mmhmm. _

What's going on with Mr. Lupin?

_What do you mean?_

He's just been acting strange around me lately... As in, not really talking to me, not helping me study...

_Don't know. Why don't you ask him yourself?_

Because that would be an awkward conversation, I believe.

_Yeah... _

Is there something going on?

_Well..._

Has his aunt really been sick?

_I, er..._

And what about his mum all these years? I see her at Diagon Alley when we do our school shopping, she always seems chirpy.

_Elizabeth, this is really something you need to talk to him about._

I've asked him about it before, though. He just gets really defensive and secretive about it... If he were Pinocchio, he'd have a very long nose, I think.

_You think? I didn't know it was possible!_

Sirius, that joke is older than the hills now.

_I know. _

Well? Are you going to supply me with any answers?

_Let's just say he has a condition..._

Is it deadly?

_No... I don't think so. Not for him, anyway._

Oh. ... Well, erm...

_By the way, we will snog again._

What?! No we won't!

_Yes, we will._

**10.49, Girls' Dormitory**

Oh bugger.

**10.50**

Bugger, bugger, bugger.

**10.51**

Not only did we snog again, but Remus walked in on us!

**10.52**

I didn't even want to snog him, let me remind you.

**10.53**

Remus seemed very upset...

**10.54**

I'd go so far as to say he was right angry.

**10.55**

Though it seemed more directed at Sirius than myself.

**10.56**

Actually, I think I can hear them yelling at each other...

**10.57, Top of Girls' Staircase**

Yeah, I can hear them. I wonder what they're saying?

**10.59**

Oh my... Yeah, Remus is really angry.

**11.01**

I'm not quite sure how I should document this argument. Ah, this might work.

**11.02, Documenting for Further Investigation and Dissection with the Gang**

Remus: So, it's just alright to snog whoever, then?

Sirius: Well, yes! I mean, er, no?

R: Then why'd you do it?

James: What're you two arguing about now?

R: He was sucking off Elizabeth's face, James!

S: I was not!

J: Sirius, why were you sucking off her face? I thought you fancied her?

S: I do! We were just snogging, you twat!

R: But it was _Elizabeth_ you were snogging!

S: Is there some special law that says Elizabeth can't be snogged?

J: I think there was a specific Marauder Code that stipulated that Marauders can't snog other Marauders, and since Elizabeth is very well on her merry way to becoming a Marauder...

S: You're supposed to be helping the cause, here, mate!

R: See, Sirius?

S: You would've snogged her too, Moony.

R: I... Er... What?

J: Sirius...

S: Well, he would've. Who wouldn't want to?! Honestly, Moony, she thinks you're acting strange. And you are!

R: What do you mean? And how would you know what she thinks?

S: Because she asked me why you were acting so off lately!

R: You didn't tell her about my-

S: No, I didn't.

R: I'm not acting strange!

J: Actually...

S: You are, Moony, face it. More than usual at this time, too. You know, one might come to the conclusion that you're being a jealous prick.

R: Why would _I_ be jealous?

S: Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm the one who's been snogging Elizabeth and helping her study and talking to her.

R: I have, too.

S: No you haven't. You've hardly talked to her these past few weeks when she's been without that bloody journal.

J: Sirius, maybe you should...

S: No, Prongs. He's jealous. Do you fancy her, Remus?

J: Sirius!

**11.16**

... I think someone just got punched!

**11.17, Common Room**

Woah! Remus just punched Sirius!

**11.18**

I can't believe it...

**11.19**

Who knew Remus had it in him to do something like that?

**11.20**

Ah well. I think I'm off to Bed Land.

**2nd of November, 7.03, Great Hall, Breakfast**

I can't believe they were fighting over me last night.

**7.04**

Conclusion: Boys are complete and total idiots.

**7.05**

The Gang (minus Anne, who's probably off shagging that bloody Ravenclaw of hers) wants to read my documentation of last night's "Epic Battle for The Girl," as it has been so dubbed.

**7.10**

_Elizabeth, I really do think Remus fancies you._

_Why else would he punch Sirius?_

I don't know... I mean, maybe he didn't like Sirius insinuating that he fancies me.

_Lizzie, listen to Bridget and me. We've been telling you all along that he fancies you. This proves it! How can you possibly deny it?_

Lily, honestly. Wouldn't you be upset if you walked in on Sirius and I snogging?

_I wouldn't. I'd probably find some way to document it._

That's kind of disturbing.

_Agreed. But the Marauders rarely, if ever, fight amongst themselves, especially if it's just some girl, no offense. _

None taken.

_So does this mean you're dating Sirius now?_

NO!

_She's not that stupid. _

Hey, what do you suppose his "condition" is?

_Well, I kind of have an idea..._

And?

_I'm not going to say. I want to talk with him about it first._

_Ooh, secrets don't make friends, Lilypad._

_Don't call me that!_

Haha. Lilypad. Actually, I'm surprised Potter hasn't bothered you this morning...

_He's too busy mediating between Sirius and Remus._

_Luckily for me._

Hm. Well...

_Face it, Lizzie. He fancies you._

_Quite a bit considering he punched his best mate's nose for you._

But I didn't want him to punch Sirius...

_So the truth finally comes out! You do fancy Sirius Black!_

**7.23**

Really, I don't fancy Sirius. He's the one pushing the relationship upon me...

**7.25**

I feel terrible now...

**7.26**

You know what will cheer me up?

**7.28**

Hahaha!!!! Yes, a round of "Fetchez la vache" has begun!

**7.29**

I should make a musical arrangement...

**7.30**

And then I could send it to everyone via African or European swallow!

**7.32**

You know, my genius is so under-appreciated.

**7.33**

Oh, and when Sirius said that he'd been helping me study, it was kind of true. He's been helping me with Muggle Studies and Astronomy and I've been helping him with Transfiguration.

**7.35**

Although he doesn't really need much help with it...

**7.36**

The prick!

**7.37**

He's only been helping me study in the hopes that he'd get to snog me!

**7.38**

Urgh!

**7.39**

I feel so... Dirty!

**7.40**

I've lost my appetite.

**7.41**

Although that chocolate muffin looks absolutely delicious.

**7.42**

Well, I think I'm going to clip-clop for awhile...

**7.55, Common Room**

... Remus is all alone.

**7.56**

Poor bloke didn't even go to breakfast.

**7.57**

Hey Remus.

**7.58**

He's not responding. This isn't a good sign.

**8.12**

So, he's a bit upset with me.

**8.13**

Actually, "a bit" is an understatement.

**8.14**

He's angry.

**8.15**

Remus has never been angry with me before...

**8.16**

But he can't be too angry, considering he's still sitting by me.

**8.17**

I'm going to try writing him again... I don't really like his angry voice. (It's intimidating.) I kind of want to know what his condition is...

**8.18**

Remus, I was wondering, erm...

_What?_

Well, last night, when you and Sirius were arguing... Er, well, you seemed kind of afraid that Sirius had told me something. I was wondering if you'd tell me what it was?

_I really don't want to tell you, Elizabeth._

I know. But, we're mates and all, and I just wanted to know. I mean... I'm not going to tell anyone, Remus. Really, I'm not.

_I know you won't, but I don't think you'd take the news so well..._

... Are you graduating early?! Remus, don't leave me here with these barmy buffoons! You're the only sane person I know!

_No, that's not it._

Oh. Well, you don't have to tell me, I just... Well, a long time ago, in a far and distant galaxy, someone told me you had a "furry little problem." I don't know, I was just under the assumption that you had a Killer Bunny Rabbit...

_If you really want to know, I'll tell you. _

Alright. Go on, then.

_I'm a werewolf._

**--------------------------------------**

Well, I hope all the American readers enjoyed their Thanksgivings and ate a ton of food as I instructed. And I also hope that you enjoyed this chapter. It was a bit more sirius (haha- humor) than usual, but it was kind of necessary to get the plot rollin'. Hopefully you liked it, and I'm sorry that I had to sacrifice some of the funniness. But at least Remus has revealed his secret! As usual, J.K. Rowling owns the Wonderful World of Harry Potter and Monty Python (or Ponty Mython, if you're like Lizzie) owns all of their randomness. Now, I was reading through the reviews you all have written me, and I realized that I really have never responded to any of your comments! (Oh the humanity!) So, I shall respond now as best as I can. Alright, first of all, I'm very glad that everyone loves the story and thinks it's hilarious. I have a very tiny confession to make, though: when I'm writing and/or reading this story, I don't laugh or smile at all. Thus my friend has taken to calling me "Emotionless Freak/Git." So, I suppose it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that everyone finds it funny. Nextly, I am going to try my best to update more often, especially on weekends. And as far as how crazy Elizabeth is, I've decided that Lizzie is that insane yet incredibly lovable person in all of us. Also, for those who are wondering, I'm not English. I really wish that I were, but I'm not. (Plus, all my teachers freak out if I accidentally spell something in the non-American way.) And fell free to PM me with ideas or suggestions; I love hearing what you have to say, and would definitely give you credit for your idea if it was used. Finally, (DRUM ROLL) 94 reviews!!! How exciting is that? (Pretty darn!) You know what that means? Only six more to go and then there will be 100! **So review as though you have never reviewed before! Be thorough and thoughtful and pray that you are the 100th reviewer!!**Anyway, thank you for reading. Much love to all.


	15. Drink Up Me Hearties, Yo Ho

**8.24**

... Really? You're a... A werewolf?

_Yes._

Why haven't you told me before now?

_I don't know. I guess I'd rather you be under the impression that I have a Killer Bunny Rabbit._

Right. Well, erm... I'm still not going to tell anyone, just so you know.

_I know you won't. _

So... About how Sirius and I were snogging...

_Yeah?_

I didn't want him to...

_Right. _

**8.28**

... He didn't sound to convinced of my not wanting to be snogged.

**8.29**

Oh well. I am off to clip-clop!!!

**8.37, Some Random Corridor (I Know Not Where)**

What's this? The Slytherins are exposing themselves to the light of day? CRAZY!

**8.38**

... It's Snape-adoodle!

**8.39**

He needs to wash his hair... And fix his nose...

**8.40**

He's scowling at me!

**8.41**

That barmy cow!

**8.42**

You know, hot pink really is his colour, I think.

**8.45**

AHAHAHA!!!!

**8.46**

His hair is pink! And he doesn't even know it!

**8.47**

I have just provided the whole student body of Hogwarts (and probably Professor Dumbledore) with some entertainment at the expense of the school's biggest git.

**8.48**

Well, actually, Sirius is the biggest git.

**8.49**

Right. _Anyway_...

**8.59, Library, At a Table, Near the Back**

So, I'm bored.

**9.01**

I suppose I could do some research for my Ancient Runes assignment.

**9.02**

Ha! Yeah right!

**9.03**

I shall avoid completing my homework at all costs.

**9.04**

I suppose I could compose my "Fetchez la Vache" song...

**9.05**

What's a catchy tune?

**9.06**

... "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me!" That's catchy! "We plunder, we pillage, we rifle, we loot, drink up me hearties, YO HO! Blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, drink up me hearties, YO HO!"

**9.07**

Let's see... How could it fit?

**9.08**

"Fetchez, oh, fetchez, oh, fetchez la vache, drink up the milk, MOO MOO! Oh fetchez, oh fetchez, oh fetchez la vache, Fetchez la vache, MOO MOO! Fetchez, fetchez, la vache for me and you!"

**9.11**

I... I...

**9.12**

I love it!!!!!

**9.13**

I must send it to everyone in school!

**9.15, Heading to the Owlery**

I have magically reproduced the song on lots of paper... But now it's stuck in my head...

**9.16**

Blast! You stupid song! Get out of my head!!

**9.25, At the Owlery**

I have dispatched every owl to deliver the arrangement.

**9.26**

This may take awhile...

**9.27**

It would probably go a lot faster if I had swallows...

**9.28**

You know, "Fetchez la Vache: The Song," sounds like a drinking tune.

**9.29**

Not that I drink, you know.

**9.30**

Because that would be, er, bad.

**9.31**

Right. Well, I think I'm going to send out a call for all swallows in the vicinity to come yonder and deliver these papers for me.

**9.32**

I have bird-calling ultrasound skills, didn't you know?

**9.34**

What the bloody...?

**9.35**

There's a huge mass of birds flying through the sky!

**9.36**

I really do have skills!!!

**9.37**

Wait... Those aren't swallows...

**9.38**

They're pigeons!

**9.39**

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

**9.40**

Run for cover!!! Incoming pigeons!!

**9.41**

... Man, they poop a lot.

**9.42**

More than owls, I think.

**9.43**

... Why are they looking at me?

**9.44**

It's like they want something...

**9.46**

I wonder if these pigeons are like those messenger pigeons...

**9.47**

I'm gonna find out!

**9.55**

Wow. They _are_ messenger pigeons!

**9.56**

Look at them go! (Not that you can actually see, journal.)

**9.58**

Well, I'm a wee bit bored. Again.

**9.59, Sitting on a Non-Poop Covered Area**

I suppose I ought to think about Remus' situation...

**10.01**

Well, honestly, I don't see why he didn't tell me sooner. I mean, it's not as though I'm just going to tell anyone. Actually, I think his fellow Marauders would be more likely. Especially Sirius, dropping hints so blatantly as he did.

**10.03**

Though I feel right stupid having not put more thought into it.

**10.04**

But, we've been mates for such a long time... Am I untrustworthy?

**10.05**

I never told anyone about Bridget's odd fascination with Severus Snape... Or how Anne stuffs her bra so she looks more curvaceous. (Although I bet her Ravenclaw Bed Buddy knows all about that now... But maybe she actually grew a bosom over the summer... I don't know- I don't bother to check these things.)

**10.06**

Lily, well, she used to be mates with Snape... Which kind of inspired Bridget's obsession with him last year.

**10.07**

Yeah, she was totally digging the whole, "dark, brooding, mysterious, unkempt" look.

**10.08**

Which, I must say, is repulsive.

**10.09**

Although sometimes I think he just needs a hug.

**10.10**

Only problem is no one would want to do that job, now would they?

**10.13**

The owls are returning!

**10.14**

I probably should flee before they decide to let their bowels do as they bloody please...

**10.34, Back at the Common Room**

Ew. It's Black...

**10.35**

Someone ought to smack him. He kind of deserves it being the wanker that he is.

**10.36**

You know, it's not decent to just snog innocent girls who have never snogged before!!

**10.37**

I could have snogged someone that I actually _wanted_ to snog.

**10.38**

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

**10.39**

I'm Sirius Black. I can snog and shag whoever I very well please because I'm Hogwarts' Resident Sex God. And there's nothing poor, innocent little girls like Elizabeth Reynolds can do about it, because, you know what? I'm going to snog her anyway and she's going to like it!

**10.41**

... Except I didn't really like his snogging me...

**10.42**

Honestly.

**10.43**

He keeps looking at me.

**10.44**

What a prick.

**10.45**

It's like I can hear his thoughts running through my mind...

**10.46**

Something along the lines of: "Oh yes, Elizabeth. You know I see you. I'm watching you now. And I'm going to keep watching you because I know it creeps you out. And after I'm done watching you for a time, I'm going to saunter in my incredibly sexy way over to you and then I'm going to snog the daylights out of you. Oh yes, Elizabeth. I'm still watching you..."

**10.47**

GRAH!!!!

**10.50, Sitting at a Table**

I feel very satisfied now.

**10.51**

He so deserved to be slapped.

**10.52**

If only you could see my smugness right now...

**10.53**

You don't even know, journal.

**10.54**

Blah blah, blah blah blah, and really bad eggs... Drink up me hearties, YO HO! Yo ho, yo ho, a slapper's life for me.

**--------------------------------------**

I'm am the Updating Queen this weekend! Sweet! As always, J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe, Monty Python owns "Fetchez la vache," and Disney owns the rights to "Yo Ho A Pirate's Life for Me." Anyway, if you haven't noticed, the 100th review has been made. Personally, I find this very exciting, because it means I have some very loyal readers, and people actually like the story! So, this update is dedicated to all my lovely readers. Hopefully "Fetchez la Vache: The Song" will be stuck in your head and you will share it with all your friends. Thanks for reading and **keep reviewing!!** Much love.


	16. Lame Gifts of Even Greater Lameness

**17th of December, 6.45 in the Morning, Feeling Quite Chirpy and Such this Fine Winter Day, Gryffindor Common Room**

Journal, for your own sake, I will not tell you where you have been. You would never be able to forgive me for my carelessness. I will tell you, however, that I have been forced to write all my thoughts down in my History of Magic notebook, so, really, I have no idea what are notes or what is me being, well, erm... Me.

**6.47**

Alright, so I must tell you to clear my conscience, or something of the sort: Black stole you. Yes, indeed he did. But, luckily for me, I was smart enough to put a charm on you so no one can read my innermost (and slightly embarrassing) thoughts. And I've just swiped you back. You see, Remus and I just had another Grand Adventure, but a bit less dramatic than the Shrine Hunt.

**6.48**

Which I suppose leads one to wondering why I'm up so bloody early in the morning on a Saturday. Well, if you must now, it's taken Remus and I a week to devise this plan of rescuing you, dear journal, and thus you should be quite thankful and merry, seeing as Christmas is right around the corner.

**6.50**

However, I now realise that you are a journal and thus incapable of emotion...

**6.51**

You see why I don't want people reading this? Everyone would think I'm a loon!

**6.52**

Not that there's anything wrong with loons. Muggles seem to feel different about that subject, you know, just throwing everyone who they think is mental into the Looney Bin of Doom.

**6.53**

Which, according to Lily, is where I would end up if I were to ever give up magic and pursue Muggle-like interests post-Hogwarts.

**6.54**

Pfft. Like I'd ever do something as stupid as that.

**6.55**

Me. As a Muggle.

**6.56**

Ahaha!

**6.57**

My parents would certainly be mortified...

**6.58**

Well, at least my mum would be.

**6.59**

Remus wants to have a conversation! Let me just lift that lovely little spell I made up...

**7.01**

_Hello, Lizabeth._

Hullo!

_I see you've already written a page..._

Don't mock my insanity and OCD-ish need to write all my thoughts down! You don't understand!

_I wasn't mocking you! _

Sorry, a bit melodramatic.

_... Do you even know what "melodramatic" means?_

Nope!

_Where did you hear it?_

My mum. In that howler she sent me. You know, that one.

_Ah yes. Good times, good times._

No they weren't! That was almost as horrible as Black stealing my journal!

_I don't think so. I think losing your journal for the second time really sent you off the deep end these past few weeks. What with your original attempt to woo Peter into showing you the dorm so you could dig around for the bloody thing. Really, Elizabeth, you could've just asked me._

But then dear ol' Jamesie-poo would think we were up to something... Which I still don't understand. It's not like we fancy each other or anything.

_Right._

... It's not my fault Peter was the only Marauder I could find! Honestly! I had no choice but to try to woo him with my womanly charms.

_Please don't start on your womanly charms. _

Why ever not? Surely, you haven't discovered my amazing-ness yet, Mr. Lupin. Otherwise, you too would be following me around like Black does.

_I don't think I'd ever sink to that level just to be close to a female..._

Or would you?

_Elizabeth!_

Who knows! Maybe the wolf in you is all, "Grah! Must find mate!" but you're all "No! Must abstain!"

_... Elizabeth._

Did I cross the line again?

_Uh-huh._

Sorry. Sometimes I can't help it... It's like my brain just spews and my hand does as my brain tells it to.

_Oh yes, the Horrors of Brain Spew._

You know of the Horrors, Mr. Lupin! I know you do! Surely, your brain has spewed at least once in your lifetime.

_Actually, I'm quite proud to say that it hasn't. I am able to demonstrate some self/brain-control. Whereas you seem to struggle with that area. Ah well, I think I have enough control for the both of us._

And I have enough Brain Spew for the entire population of Hogwarts, including the professors!

_And you're proud of this fact, why?_

I don't know... Just because. Oh, did I tell you McGonagall brain-spewed Thursday night at my Animagus Study lesson-thing?

_No... Wait, she did?_

Yessum, she most certainly did!

_Don't tell me that over the summer you also watched American Western films too..._

In fact, I did! It was quite interesting, how they're all just shooting at each other like there's no tomorrow.

_Oh great. I'm sure you're getting plenty of ideas._

No, my Ideas of Greatness spawn from that which I call Ponty Mython.

_Indeed. Though, even I'll admit that "Fetchez la Vache: The Song" is a lovely tune. How long did it take you to make it up?_

Four minutes, I think.

_I'm impressed. _

By what? My musical talent or the capacity of my brain?

_Both. _

Ah, well, at least you're honest.

_I try. _

I'm glad you're happy again.

_Mm-hmm._

And I'm glad we're going on Mystical, Magical, Magnificent Adventures again.

_I could live without those. (Too many m's!)_

Well, piddly-diddly, dear. You are the Watson to my Holmes.

_Right. Want to head down to breakfast now? _

Haha, sure. What with your stomach growling at me.

_Don't tease my stomach._

Let's away, shall we? Before your stomach starts serenading me due to my womanly charms.

_Oh Merlin._

**7.25, En Route to the Great Hall**

Goodness, everyone must be very, very tired... You'd think that people would be all fired up because it's a Hogsmeade weekend.

**7.27**

Speaking of, I really do need to make a list of gifts.

**7.28**

Remus won't tell me what he wants for Christmas. The prat. And then he has the nerve to ask me what I want! I refuse to tell him that I want this really old book that I saw at the antique shop last Hogsmeade trip.

**7.29**

No matter how much like old book it smells!

**7.30**

I'll just get it for myself, thanks.

**7.35, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Next to Remus**

The prat still won't tell me what he wants.

**7.36**

Actually, I've come to a very good conclusion about blokes.

**7.37**

Would you care to hear it? Of course you would! (Let me just stuff this piece of toast in my mouth first.)

**7.38**

Alright! Managed not to choke! High-five in my head! Anyway, here's my thesis about blokes: They hail from the Lands of Lame and come bearing Lame Gifts of Even Greater Lameness and thus only attract Lame Girls who hail from the Lands of Pretty-Lame-Although-Not-As-Lame-As-The-Blokes'-Land-of-Lame and the Lameness only spreads from Lame clan to Lame clan all across the Many Lame Lands of which occupy this Lame World of Lameness.

**7.41**

Yes, that is my conclusion. Blokes, and the girls who flock around them, are lame.

**7.42**

You know, just in case you didn't get the "lame" bit after my repeating the word thirteen times in various forms.

**7.43**

Remus is laughing at what I just wrote. But, oh-o, my dear friend, it's true!

**7.44**

Hark! The lad speaks!

**7.45**

Or tries to while laughing and thus sort of chokes.

**7.46**

Shall I save him?

**7.47**

Elizabeth Reynolds to the Rescue!

**7.50**

He's fine now.

**7.51**

I should get a sweet superhero name.

**7.52**

Or a boyfriend.

**7.53**

Either of those would be lovely Christmas gifts.

**7.54**

But I DON'T WANT BLACK!

**7.56**

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

**7.57**

That sad excuse for a boy hasn't left me alone for the longest time. I'm trying to get Remus to intervene, and sometimes he does, whisking me away to the Library yonder to study because Sirius tends to leave me alone when Remus is around. (For reasons unknown to myself.) (Although the Gang insists it's because he knows that Remus fancies me too.) (And Remus doesn't fancy me, I don't think.) ... (Well, they're all barmy cows anyway!)

**7.59**

I was loving the parentheses for awhile, wasn't I?

**8.01**

I'm so excited for Hogsmeade! I can't wait to go shopping. And I absolutely love the Caroling Goblins.

**8.02**

And, contrary to popular belief, Goblins seem to be far more hospitable than Dwarves.

**8.03**

Just from personal experience.

**8.04**

... Right.

**8.05**

List of Gifts to get!:

Remus- probably a box of chocolates and a book

Lily- stockings (She's always complaining about how cold her feet are, the silly girl.)

Anne- ... probably something to protect her womanly parts from that bloody Ravenclaw of hers (I don't want my friend to get some strange, sexually transmitted disease... And I honestly don't care to know what she's been doing.)

Bridget- Sugar quills because she's always stealing mine!

Erm... Who else is there?

Definitely not getting Black anything. Unless it's something absolutely atrocious. In which case I'd give it to him, in hopes that it would disgust him so much that he'll want to stay away from me.

Mum and Dad!- well, erm... I don't know... Dad'll probably want a new pocket watch and Mum, erm... Stationary! Yes. There, perfect gifts.

And I'll just send out greeting cards to everyone else.

**8.10**

I feel much better now, knowing what I'm going to get everyone.

**8.11**

Urgh! Remus, just leave me alone! I will not tell you what I want!

_Why not?_

Because you refuse to tell me! (Haha. I already know what I'm getting you, though.)

_You cheeky little thing._

Don't say that. You sound like Black. Who I dislike very much.

**8.13, En Route back to the Common Room**

Haha. He has no idea what to get me.

**8.14**

Except for the whole "sweet superhero name" or a boyfriend. Which, really, if I was dying to have either of those, I'd just get them myself.

**8.15**

Besides, he'll probably just play Cupid with Sirius and I.

**8.16**

Hopefully he won't tell James.

**8.17**

If he does, I'm going to curse his sorry bottom a hundred years forward and back.

**8.18**

Although, ultimately, I don't think that would accomplish much.

**8.19**

But it would be quite exhilarating. Even if I did get expelled...

**8.26, Common Room**

Only a few more hours until Hogsmeade!

**8.27**

Excitement!

**8.28**

I think I'm going to go read for Ancient Runes, now. But you shall accompany me to Hogsmeade later on, so don't worry too much.

**11.59, In the Carriage, En Route to Hogsmeade**

Have I yet told you how much I love Hogsmeade?

**12.00**

I don't believe I have.

**12.01**

I love Hogsmeade more that I love the smell of old books.

**12.02**

Except not.

**12.04**

Right, well... We're almost there!!!!

**12.05**

_This is Lily Evans speaking. I have Elizabeth's journal because Bridget is trying to stop her from bouncing up and down so wildly. She'll get, er, you back once she's calmed herself._

**12.07**

We're here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**12.08**

I feel like spinning... But I shouldn't, in case I scare the ickle little third years.

**12.09**

And Merlin knows I would _never_ want to do something like that!

**12.10**

Ahahaha! I sure scared them! They must think I'm _nuts_!

**12.12**

Off to shop!

**12.23, In Honeydukes**

It's quite crowded, I must say. But I have two things (box of their finest chocolates and two boxes of Sugar Quills), and I'm now standing in line to pay.

**12.24**

This is the one thing I _don't_ like about Christmas shopping...

**12.25 **

I moved up one step from where I was exactly one minute ago!

**12.26**

This is taking too long. Don't they know who I am?

**12.27**

I am Elizabeth Reynolds, AKA Her Royal Hotness!

**12.28**

Elizabeth Reynolds waits for no one!

**12.29**

Though, I suppose, in this case, I have to.

**3.04, The Three Broomsticks, Sitting at a Booth with the Gang plus Remus**

I'm surrounded by bags and boxes. I think I may have to recruit Remus to help me carry all this stuff to the carriage.

**3.05**

Though I'll have to be sure that he isn't carrying the bag that his gift is in.

**3.06**

Especially the book. Which, I must say, is a fine specimen indeed and will surely make him a very happy man when he opens it.

**4.11, In the Carriage**

So, Remus helped me load everything in. It took three trips. Honestly, I have no idea how I managed to carry it all to The Three Broomsticks without killing myself! Only Lily and I could fit in this carriage, so Bridget is probably stuck with the Marauders or worse: Anne and her boyfriend.

**4.12**

... Though on the last trip back to gathering up all my bags and the like, there was a slightly embarrassing occurrence, which I did not expect at all.

**4.13**

So, apparently, Rosmerta thought it'd be a lovely idea to hang mistletoe above the entrance, and, on the way out the last time, Remus noticed it.

**4.14**

Well, surely, you can understand why my cheeks turned pink when he grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me towards him, quickly leaning down to leave a soft kiss on my lips.

**4.15**

And then it certainly didn't help that there were wolf whistles. Honestly, I thought that only occurred in those films Lily and I watched.

**4.16**

"Mistletoe," he murmured, pointing up, obviously aware of my slightly bewildered expression. He didn't really say anything after that, just adjusted the boxes under his arms and went on his merry way to the carriage.

**4.17**

Me, being the ever-smooth being that I am, well... I just kind of stood there.

**4.18**

And, to be honest, I'm still in shock.

**4.19**

It wasn't at all like the snog fests that Sirius pushes on me. No, it was just a sweet, soft peck on the lips...

**--------------------------------------**

Yay! Finally an update! You can thank my being home sick and incredibly bored for this one. I hope you liked it. Sorry if you felt I skipped too much, but I wanted to catch up to normal times, not be stuck way back in November for the next three weeks. Anyway, as always, the Harry Potter World belongs to J.K. Rowling, "Fetchez la vache" belongs to Monty Python, and everything else is mine. Thank you all for being so patient with me, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll try to update this weekend if I don't have too much make-up work. Oh, and, whoever the 100th reviewer was, message me so we can discuss a possible side story or chapter plot line. Actually, anyone can just go ahead and message me about side story ideas. I'm in a festive mood (despite my being ill), and it can be my little "thank you" and Holiday present for all of you. Thanks for reading, **keep reviewing**! Yours always.


	17. Happily Ever After in Singleness Land

**5.27, Back in the Warm Gryffindor Common Room**

Have I ever mentioned how lovely a person Tristan Davenport is? The lovely 7th year Gryffindor helped me carry all of my boxes and bags up to the Common Room! Oh, you don't know who Tristan Dav is? What is wrong with you, dear journal? Have you been living under a rock or something for the past six years? Ah, well, I'll tell you all about him then. After I sneeze.

**5.28**

Eww, boogeys! Disgusting! Where's a handkerchief when you need one?

**5.29**

Right, well... Ah, Tristan Davenport (Tristan Dav to everyone). He's a lovely Gryffindor seventh year who I've known for a very long time. The Davenports are nearly bosom buddies with my family, and I wouldn't be surprised if, somewhere along the bloody family tree, he and I are distantly related. Anyway, that being said, he's always been regarded as Hogwarts' Resident Golden Boy, which means he does not fall into the same league as the Marauders. Which, altogether, is a good thing seeing as he's a lovely bloke, top of his class, always seems to have this glow about him... As I said: _Golden_. He's got the loveliest brown curls, also. This causes me much distress when it comes time for the Reynolds Annual Christmas Fling Where All the Adults Get Drunk and the Children are Bored, as I'm always tempted to pull on a ringlet and watch it bounce back. Actually, I tried it once, but then he thought he'd get his revenge by pulling on _my_ curls for the rest of the night.

**5.34**

Overall, he's a wonderful bloke and I'm sure any girl would be happy to be his girlfriend.

**5.35**

Not that I fancy him from afar or anything...

**5.36**

I'm just trying to keep my mind off the whole Incident Under the Mistletoe, as I've so dubbed it.

**5.37**

Urgh. I don't fancy Remus... I don't think...

**5.38**

I haven't told the Gang or anything... It really isn't any of their business anyway.

**5.39**

Seriously, Remus, why do you have to cause me so much distress!? I wasn't even this distressed when Sirius initiated the Snog Fest Tradition on Tuesdays. Honestly!

**5.40**

... Lily is eyeing me curiously...

5.41

Feel my cold, hard stare, Lilypad Evans!

**5.42**

It's like I'm burning her with my eyes... I can almost see her writhing in pain.

**5.43**

Well, I believe I'll go wander around for awhile until dinner... I think I'll get my clip-cloppers.

**5.46, Random Corridor on the Third Floor**

I don't think people realise how difficult it is to to pretend you're riding a horse and clip-clop at the same time. It truly is a rather difficult thing, especially when shouting "Oh Fetchez, oh fetchez, oh fetchez la vache, Drink up the milk, MOO MOO!". It's quite difficult!

**5.49, Sitting on a Moving Staircase, Stuck next to James**

He's a prat.

_Who's a prat?_

You.

_Oh, well, I come to you, Oh Great Elizabeth, wondering about the little incident 'tween you and Moony at The Three Broomsticks earlier._

And?

_Curious thing, isn't it, how he didn't seem at all distressed about having to abide by an old tradition._

... James, kissing under mistletoe isn't that big of a thing.

_Oh contraire, Lizzie, it is a big thing. Huge, in fact. _

And why is that?

_Because you didn't pull away from him._

So? That would've been rude.

_Since when are you so prim and proper, following etiquette rules?_

Never...

_Exactly. Just think back to what I said at the beginning of the year... About someone other than Sirius having an interest in you._

**5.56, En Route to the Great Hall**

James Potter is a barmy loon.

**6.01, Gryffindor Table, Surrounded by the Gang**

Alright, so _someone_ told the Gang that Remus and I kissed under the mistletoe. Except they seem to think we had an all-out Snog Fest. Which we didn't.

**6.03**

_Elizabeth! Why didn't you tell us?_

_Yeah! Don't you trust us?_

... Where's Anne?

_Off with her Ravenclaw._

Oh.

_Don't change the subject. Tell us your side of the story, seeing as you're denying the Snog Fest theory._

Well, erm... This is awkward.

_Indeed it is! But, in awkward times, we all must press on._

That was rather wise of you, Bridget.

_Thank you!_

_So, get on with it!_

Fine! Calm down, woman. So, Remus and I were carrying all my boxes and such back, as you very well know seeing as neither of you offered to help, and on the third trip back, he noticed mistletoe, I suppose...

_Yes, and?_

He kind of pulled me to him and kissed me. That's it! We didn't have a Never Ending Snog Fest as the two of you seem to believe.

_We must confront him as soon as possible, Lils!_

_That we do!_

No we don't! I mean, he was just abiding by a centuries-old tradition! It didn't mean anything!

_Oh, but it did._

_Yeah, I agree with Bridget. Just leave this to us, Lizzie, we've had more experience in this department than you have._

**6.11**

... What's that supposed to mean? Are they saying I'm inexperienced?

**6.12**

Well, I think being forced to snog Black is experience enough, thanks.

**6.13**

Note that I said "forced." Here meaning against my own free will and better judgement.

**6.14**

He's quite over-powering, you know.

**6.15**

... Remus doesn't fancy me!

**10.32, Girls' Dormitory, In Bed**

Well, I was sleeping quite soundly until Lily and Bridget barged in, having spoken with Remus about what happened. And now they want to document the discussion.

**10.33**

_We were right!_

_All along, this whole time! And you never believed us!_

_The nerve, Elizabeth._

What are you talking about? I'm still sleepy...

_Remus Lupin, you dolt._

What about him?

_He fancies you!_

_Well, he didn't exactly come out and say those exact words, but it may as well have been as good as if he had._

So, he doesn't fancy me.

_Are you deaf? ... Er, blind?!_

No.

_We just told you that he fancies you! Shouldn't you be bouncing off the walls or something? You two make such a smart match!_

Stop trying to play Cupid, please. If he didn't say, "I fancy Elizabeth," then he has no interest in me other than a platonic relationship.

_You're so helpless._

_Agreed._

Good-night, you barmy lot.

**20th of December, 7.32 in the Morning, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Enjoying a Quiet Breakfast**

Well, it's a lovely Tuesday morning... And I'm eating... Without the Gang.

**7.33**

Woe is me, except not.

**7.34**

It would seem, Journal, that everyone, except myself, has caught the Love Bug...

**7.35**

Don't ask me how it happened, exactly, but Lily came rushing up to us Sunday afternoon saying she was now dating that Hufflepuff bloke, Jack Dunnington. And then yesterday, after having been missing for a few hours, Bridget waltzes in saying she's dating that bloody Gryffindor fifth year, Peter Jamison. I mean, honestly, what the

**7.37**

... Tristan Dav is sitting across from me. I'll have to put you away for a wee bit, so he doesn't think I'm completely mental.

**10.19, History of Magic, In the Back, Desk Closest to the Door, Next to Remus**

We're doing nothing but taking notes about some Goblin Wars or something... Not really paying attention. I'm far too busy glaring at the back of Lily's head, and the head of Dunce-ington.

**10.20**

Honestly, three days before Hols and everyone up and snatches a boyfriend.

**10.21**

It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I just can't wrap my brain around it.

**10.22**

Now, I'm Lady Singleness of the Single Clan in the Lonely Lands of Single, drinking from a Single Cup filled with Single Mead with a Lonely Heart crest decorating it.

**10.23**

However, Tristan joining me for breakfast was quite a surprise. Oh, of course we're on good terms with each other, but it is a rare thing indeed when he sits with anyone other than his mates. He apparently missed out on the Love Bug also, as all of his friends had gone off to escort their ladies to class. So he was left to finish his breakfast by himself, when he noticed that I too was sitting by myself, "looking like the saddest and loneliest creature" he'd ever seen. (Or so he told me.)

**10.24**

Do I really look that pathetic, Golden Boy? Ah well, we talked about the professors and, of course, Quidditch. And then we talked about what we got all of our mates for Christmas. The topic of conversation eventually turned to the Reynolds Annual Christmas Fling, which, ironically, happens a few days before Christmas. He said he always looks forward to our party, as all the other ones are boring.

**10.25**

Yes. Quite an exhilarating conversation between chums, I suppose.

**10.26**

_Why aren't you taking notes?_

Because I already know about the bloody, and ultimately ineffective, Goblin Wars.

_Right... So, why was Tristan Davenport sitting with you at breakfast?_

He thought he'd join me since I was sitting by myself. Is that such a crime?

_No, I was just wondering. You could've sat with us._

Alright. I'll keep that in mind next time.

_Good._

But that doesn't guarantee I'll sit with you lot.

_Why not?_

I'd rather talk to Dav than watch Sirius snog someone's face off.

_Good point... How about next time you come sit by me, then?_

Well, if you're going to go at that angle, why didn't you join me?

_Because, erm... I didn't notice that Lily, Anne and Bridget weren't there. Speaking of, why were they missing in action?_

They caught the Love Bug.

_... What?_

The Love Bug, you know. As in, they all now have boyfriends.

_Ah. _

Tristan and I were talking about how everyone had caught it except us.

_Oh. Well, that's interesting._

Yes, I suppose it is.

_I'm going to go back to taking notes now..._

**10.32**

Odd.

**10.33**

I bet Remus has caught the Love Bug too. I shall ask him.

**10.34**

Have you caught the Love Bug?

_Er, no... I'm not seeing anyone, if that's what you're asking._

Alright.

_Why?_

Just trying to figure out how big the Anti-Love Bug Club is.

_Right. Take some notes, for Merlin's sake. I don't want to have to go over the Goblin Wars with you tomorrow night when you're trying to figure out what to write in your essay._

We have an essay?!

_It's up on the board._

**10.38**

So bloody bored...

**10.39**

You know what would be quite hilarious?

**10.40**

Binns breaking out into song right this very second.

**10.42**

You know, I think I know a spell to make him do that...

**10.43**

Ahahahaha!!!!

**10.44**

I'm the most brilliant person I know!

**10.45**

Yes! Class has been dismissed five minutes early!

**10.49, Corridor, Heading to Divination**

Really, random spells do come in handy at times. Especially when the drab mood in the History of Magic classroom needs to be lifted. And what better way to do that than a hearty round of "Fetchez la Vache: The Song"?

**10.58, Divination Classroom, Across from Bridget**

Fetchez, oh fetchez, oh fetchez la vache, Drink up the milk, MOO MOO! Oh fetchez, oh fetchez, oh fetchez la vache, Fetchez la vache, MOO MOO! Fetchez, fetchez, la vache for me and you! Ahahaha.

**10.59**

You honestly cannot understand how utterly entertaining and hilarious having your ghost-teacher start singing the school's favourite song in an operatic baritone voice.

**11.00**

I really do amaze myself to no end.

**19th of December, 12.12, Lunch, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Joined by Bridget, Tristan, and Remus**

So, Bridget and her little fifth year broke up.

**12.13**

Yes!

**12.14**

Not that I take delight in my mate's pain and suffering and sulking...

**12.15**

Actually, the latter is quite annoying. All she's been doing all day is sniffling. And she went out with him for, what, two or three days?

**12.16**

I will never understand the whole Female Post-Break Up Mentality.

**12.17**

Never.

**12.18**

Because I will never catch the Love Bug.

**12.19**

I will go out and get a muggle vaccination for it, or something. And I shall live Happily Ever After in Singleness Land.

**1.32, Transfiguration, Partnered with an Idiot Hufflepuff**

You know, some people in this school really are dolts.

**1.33**

Take Dunce-ington, for example. He can't even perform a simple spell, and I've been waiting for him to do it for the past 15 minutes.

**1.34**

I, with all my magical genius, managed to successfully transform him into Swamp Thing on the first try.

**1.35**

We're working on a spell that allows you to turn a person into any creature you want.

**1.36**

I don't know why I turned him into Swamp Thing. I could've turned him into a singing cow or something.

**1.37**

And then force him to sing just like Professor Binns had to.

**1.38**

Which was quite funny, as he had to cancel all of his classes for the rest of the day, for every time he tried to talk, he'd sing "Oh Fetchez, oh fetchez, oh fetchez la vache...". Most excellent.

**1.45**

He still hasn't turned me into anything.

**1.46**

Note to self: Ask Lily why she's dating such a dunce.

**1.52, Heading to Ancient Runes**

Honestly, Dunce-ington is a very befitting name.

**1.53**

He had to stay after class to talk to McGonagall.

**1.54**

Ha. So did Black, as he was misbehaving.

**1.55**

You know, now that I'm thinking about it, it's a strange thing that Sirius has left me alone for the past few days...

**1.56, Ancient Runes Classroom**

Hallelujah!

**--------------------------------------**

Whoo! Updates are lovely things, aren't they? Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter she may confront Remus about The Incident Under the Mistletoe. (Hint, hint.) As always, the Harry Potter World belongs to Jo Rowling, "Fetchez la vache" belongs to Monty Python, and the rest (characters you don't recognize, all the madness that comes from Lizzie's brain) is mine. Keep reading and **review a lot**! It makes me feel loved and happy inside. Yours.


	18. Ba Hum Bug

Remus Lupin is glaring at me. I've never seen him glare before, perhaps grimace but never glare. And now he's sneering. Oh yes, dear, that's a lovely look. I'm sure the ladies fall for it every time.

"Are you really that daft Elizabeth?"

I'd only asked him a simple question. I didn't mean for him to get angry with me. Honestly, who would've known that a simple, "About the Mistletoe Incident at The Three Broomsticks..." would throw someone off the deep-end of the swimming hole? It was a simple question, I mean, we hadn't really talked about what happened, in fact conversation between us has seemed a bit strained. But perhaps that was my own doing? I'm not a huge lover of Awkward Situations. But what I dislike more than Awkward Situations has got to be when people are angry. Anger just... Scares me for some reason. Especially coming from people that are usually very calm and patient.

"What do you mean? I'm not daft. I mean, a bit easily distracted, but certainly not daft."

"Elizabeth, please! I'm begging you- don't start with me."

"Remus, it was a simple question. I'm curious. I mean, I certainly hadn't expected it, and, well..."

There. Now he's laughing at me. What a wanker.

"You honestly don't get it, do you?"

Alright, I suppose I don't get a lot of things, but, certainly, human behaviour cannot be that difficult to explain to another human being. Actions I can understand once motive is revealed. But, no, this world's got people like Remus Lupin who insist on avoiding everything.

"Lizabeth, look. This just isn't something-"

"Isn't what, Remus? Don't talk to me like I'm a child. I'm just as old as you are, might I kindly remind you."

"You have no idea how bloody ridiculous you sound."

"Me? I sound ridiculous? Listen to you! Avoiding the situation, as always. Remus Lupin the Great Neutrality Claimer, Remus Lupin the Great Avoider of Situations, Remus Lupin the Great-"

"Enough!"

... He's never yelled at me like that before. I mean, that one word, the way he said it, would be enough to make even the most evil of Slytherins cower in fear... It would make that Lord What's-His-Moldy-Face quiver.

"You have no idea how difficult this situation is for me, alright?"

I open my mouth to speak, but the look I receive from him renders my vocal chords useless.

"You have _no bloody idea_ what it's like to want what you can't have, even though it's right in front of you, just out of your reach."

"Remus, what are you talking about?"

"Elizabeth, don't you get it? Could I make myself any more obvious to you?"

Blank stare. Honestly, what am I supposed to say to that? "Yes"? Best to be silent for a bit.

"You have everything you want. Everything, Elizabeth, and you don't even acknowledge it. You have loads of mates who all care about you, the entire school loves you for the entertainment you provide, the professors think you're brilliant, and then you have that Bloke Entourage following you around everywhere you go."

"What are you going on about? I don't have a 'Bloke Entourage'!"

"Indeed."

"Yeah, well, who?"

"Davenport, Sirius..."

"... You?"

Ow, ow, ow! The wall really isn't a comfortable place to be pushed up against, and it is very uncomfortable when there's a young man pushing you up against it. I mean... Wait, who does Remus think he is, pushing me around like this? I'm Elizabeth Reynolds- no one pushes me around without my consent, for Merlin's sake!

"Remus, you're hurting me..."

"I would never sink to their level, Elizabeth. Don't you dare compare me to them ever again."

He lowers his voice to barely a whisper, his mouth right next to my ear, "I care more about you than they ever will. I care more about you than _you_ will ever know."

His weight against me lifts and he takes a step back.

When I'm 40, he's getting all the blame for my back problems.

"Remus, I know you care about me... You're my best mate, that's how it goes, you know?"

His face twists into an expression filled with pain and anger... And possibly disgust. "You still don't get it."

"You _still_ don't get it!" He yells. "You have got to be the most infuriating female I've ever had the misfortune to know. Are you blind? Are you stupid? Do you need to be checked in to St. Mungo's? Elizabeth, I've just told you how much I'm struggling, wanting what I obviously can't have. And now I'm not so sure I even want her anymore!"

"Remus, please, just tell me what you're trying to say!" ... Why do my cheeks suddenly feel wet? ... No. I can't be crying. I haven't cried for an entire year now- why is this happening? I shouldn't be crying! Actually, I should. The nerve he has trying to demean me so.

He sighs, perhaps in surrender. "Elizabeth, I li-"

Lily appears at the stairs. "What is going on down here?" Oh no. She's spotted me. I've got to run. Where's my journal?

---------------------------

**20th of December, 11.13 Nighttime, Sitting on the Stairs**

... I don't even know where I am!

**11.14**

Well, Lizzie, if you hadn't been so busy crying maybe you'd have watched where you were going, yeah?

**11.15**

Remus Lupin is a mean, cruel, unkind being.

**11.16**

And now I'm lost too!

**11.17**

I wish I knew where I was... I don't want to have to sleep on the stairs... Or be doomed to wander the dark, empty corridors all night...

**11.19**

Why was he so uncharacteristically aggressive? I suppose the full moon is right around the corner, but even so...

**11.20**

My back hurts, journal. Because he had to go and push me up against the wall. I would recount the whole thing for you while it's still fresh in my mind, but... I think that's the problem. I don't want to have to relive such a vivid memory every time I look at this page. It would hurt too much. Remus has always been patient and kind, but his actions tonight were the complete opposite. Of course I wonder who he was talking about, but, on the other side of the knut, I don't. He hurt me, and not just physically. I've got to say the verbal abuse I suffered through tonight was worse than my mum's constant ridicule whenever I'm home.

**11.27**

Maybe I should sing a happy little song? Brighten my mood... Or pretend I'm on some far away island in the Caribbean...

**11.29**

Oh fetchez, Oh fetchez, Oh fetchez la vache... Drink up... the milk... Moo Moo...

**11.32**

I want to go back to my warm bed!!! (Ignore the tear-like looking stains... I'm _not_ crying.)

**11.33**

I don't like being lonely...

**11.34**

What if I'm never found?

**11.35**

What if I die here? Then I'll be stuck as a ghost in Hogwarts, just like Moaning Myrtle!

**11.37**

Oh no... Someone, _anyone_, please find me! I don't even care if you're Bellatrix Lestrange! Just don't leave me here alone by my one-sy!

**11.42**

I see light!

**11.44, En Route to Common Room, Being Carried by Sirius**

Thank Merlin that Sirius found me!

**11.45**

He was on his way back from the Kitchens... Or so he says. Last I was aware, the Kitchens weren't anywhere near the unknown area I was in. Otherwise I would've recognised it.

**11.46**

Right, well. I'm safe now.

**12.03, Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory, My Bed**

I just want to sleep like Rip Van Winkle.

**12.04**

I'll write tomorrow.

**21st of December, 7.23, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Breakfast**

Ba hum bug.

**7.24**

I don't even want my breakfast... Sirius can have it.

**7.25**

... He just inhaled it.

**7.26**

_Hey, cheer up, won't you?_

_Don't scrunch up your face like that. Makes you rather unattractive._

Like I care. I look like bloody crap today anyway.

_Indeed you do! But, I have a funny story for you._

And what would that be?

_Well, you know these past few days when I haven't been annoying you?_

Yes. Most peaceful days of my life, I think.

_Right, I'll just pretend you didn't say that and continue with my story._

Go on, then.

_Ah, drum roll! _

You don't really need to act out an actual drum roll on the table, you know.

_Fine. Ruin the moment. Anyway, this whole time I've been undercover as Assistant Caretaker. I got to wear a fake mustache!_

That's great, Sirius.

_But that's not the best part, love. _

What is, then?

_I've been observing you._

You mean stalking.

_Well, whichever way you care to toss it. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe._

... Did you really just waste the time spelling that phonetically?

_Yep._

Wow.

_Please cheer up?_

No.

_Why not?_

I will not be happy again until pigs fly and Remus Lupin's body is plaything to Hester.

_Both can be arranged._

Don't even try it, Sirius.

_Can I have your tea?_

Sure.

**7.35**

_I, _Elizabeth Reynolds, _will not be sulking for the rest of the day, because I make rather miserable company when I'm not being my normal _Lizzie_ self. _

**7.36**

The Gang made me sign that contract. So I must defeat my depression and look forward to Hols starting tomorrow!

**7.37**

The whole incident last night is now at the back of my mind.

**4.42, Ancient Runes**

... Just eight more minutes...

**4.43**

Merlin, does time pass slowly!

**4.44**

Almost done with class... Almost time for break...

**4.46**

Oh, Holy Professor, have Pity on your poor students! We want nothing more than to be free!

**4.47**

As free as the wind just outside the window blows!

**4.49**

... Five... Four... Three... Two... One and a half... One... One third...

**5.06, Gryffindor Common Room**

Yes! Class is done! Where for art thou, Lilypad? We must celebrate!

**5.07**

Alright, Bridge and Anne tell me that she had to talk to McGonagall about Prefect Duties or something of the boring sort.

**5.08**

Ah well, I shall celebrate with the rest of the Gang!

**5.12**

Le sigh. I'm so glad I won't have to worry about classes for the next few days.

**5.13**

D'ya think I should get packing? I mean, the train does leave first thing in the morning, and it'd be a pity to have to Floo home... The Hogwarts Express is so much more... Exhilarating. Watching the scenery go by and all that. I mean, honestly, the Reynolds' Homestead is only pleasing to view in the spring and summertime. Spending leisurely days walking on the shores of the lakes, exploring the garden, reading, practicing piano in the sun room...

**5.15**

Winter is very... White. And cold.

**5.17**

I'm off to pack now- want to get it all done before dinner!

**6.03, Gryffindor Table, Last Feast of First Term, Avec le Gang minus Lily**

Only three terms left to go until I graduate from Hogwarts! Actually, it's a rather sad thing... I'm going to miss Hogwarts and its eccentricities. And good ol' Dumbles. I'm going to miss him quite a bit.

**6.04**

Ah, I don't think I've yet told you that Anne and her Ravenclaw Bedwarmer separated. Oh, boo hoo.

**6.05**

But not quite, because that means Annie's back in the Gang!

**6.06**

Too bad Lily's still got the Love Bug.

**6.07**

Remus and I obviously are not on speaking terms... Who is he to insult Sirius and Tristan? Speaking of, here the latter comes.

**6.08**

With a box...

**6.09**

Speaking of presents, I'll have to send mine out Christmas Eve. (Note to self: Have Dad send a Howler to remind me.)

**6.16**

Ahhhhhhh!!!

**6.17**

I know I've already told you how Tristan is such a lovely bloke and all, but... He's the most wonderful bloke ever!

**6.18**

I feel bad that I didn't get him a present... Ah well, I'll get him some Quidditch something at some point or another before the Christmas party.

**6.19**

He got me a quill.

**6.20**

And not just any quill...

**6.21**

A phoenix feather quill!

**6.22**

Do you have any idea how bloody expensive those are?

**6.23**

They're bloody expensive!

**6.24**

I mean... Wow. Just wow.

**6.25**

I may just swoon. Especially because he gave it to me early in hopes that I would cheer up. He's so thoughtful!

**6.27**

_Bridget here! Well, it seems that dear little Lizzie-Wizzie is swooning over the quill Tristan Davenport gave her, so she won't be writing for awhile. (She's drooling all over it... I think.) But, let me take this moment to point out that a certain Mr. Lupin is looking down the table, splitting his glares between Tristan, the quill, and Elizabeth's gleeful face. A tad jealous, methinks?_

**6.34**

Alright, I've composed myself. And thanks, Bridge, for pointing that out.

_You're most welcome, dearie!_

Bugger off.

_No! You need to get it through your freakishly thick skull that Remus fancies you! _

He does not. You overheard, I know you did. Everyone was busy dropping their eaves last night.

_Elizabeth, please. He doesn't hate you. He told Lily so last night._

When was this? After he had me sobbing out the door?

_Lizzie, please..._

**6.37**

How many times will we have to go through that same conversation? He _does not_ fancy me (seeing as he hates me, as he so pointed out last night).

**6.38**

Neither does anyone else, for that matter.

**6.39**

I've decided that the male gender is utterly repulsed by me.

**6.40**

I don't know why, but they just are.

**6.41**

And they're bloody twats anyway, so ha.

**6.42**

I shall laugh in their general direction!

**6.43**

I'm feeling very French at the moment...

**6.44**

Fetchez la vache!

**6.52**

Well... I suppose I should head back to the dormitory and finish packing, eh?

**9.26, Girls Dormitories, Sitting Down on Trunk that Refuses to Close**

... Maybe I overpacked?

9.27

But, honestly, Mum needs to get my clothes washed. I don't trust the house elves here...

**9.28**

They'd probably sprinkle itching powder on my uniform...

**9.29**

I am not paranoid about house elves, by the way.

**9.42**

It seems that everyone's deciding to go to sleep.

**9.43**

Don't they realise they can sleep on the train ride home?

**9.44**

What a silly, barmy lot.

**10.01**

With the help of Anne, Bridget, Lily and that rather large seventh year, Marjorie, we managed to close my trunk.

**10.02**

I think I'll bounce down to the Common Room. See if anyone is down there.

**10.07, Gryffindor Common Room**

Ah, look 'ere. It's Mr. Lupin! The one who hates me!

**10.08**

He shall not ruin my time down here though.

**10.09**

Focus, Lizzie. He hates you, remember? He doesn't care about you or your bloody, pathetic feelings.

**10.10**

Not one bit.

**10.27, Girls' Dormitory, My Bed, Getting Ready to Turn In**

Well, he kind of cornered me...

**10.28**

To _apologise_.

**10.29**

I suppose he sounded sincere.

**10.30**

I didn't exactly say the words, "You're forgiven"... But, I nodded my head to acknowledge that I heard him.

**10.31**

I believe I still have reason to be cross with him.

**10.32**

Though I couldn't help but notice a bruise on his left cheek...

**10.33**

Well, my left. His right, I suppose.

**10.35**

Ah well, whoever did it to him, well... Serves him right.

**--------------------------------------**

Sorry I didn't update sooner. I've been torn between how I wanted to present the Mistletoe Incident Confrontation. And I think it turned out really well, just by presenting what happened through Lizzie's eyes and thoughts. I hope you liked it, I wrote several different versions and this one turned out the best. Hopefully I didn't disappoint? As usual, J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe, Monty Python has rights to their own genius, and the rest is mine. Wishing everyone a very merry Christmas. Yours.


	19. Teenage Need to be Rebellious & Angsty

**25th of December, 8.36 in the Morning, Breakfast by Myself**

Well, it's a miracle that the Reynolds' Annual Christmas Party didn't end in disaster two nights ago. Although I'm still trying to figure out who the present is from. I mean, really, who would know to get me First Edition texts! Do you know how rare those are to come by, journal? And they cost more than a pretty penny, I must say. I suppose I'll know once I've received all my mates' presents...

**8.39**

And due to Boxing Day, I can't open presents until tomorrow... Le sigh.

**8.40**

But tonight we're having my dad's family over, which means little Jackie-poo and Jamesie-wamsie (also known as Potter) will be here for dinner.

**8.41**

Wait. That means...

**8.42**

Sirius'll be here!

**8.43**

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!!!!

**8.44**

Why does my dad have to be related to James' parents? You know, sometimes I forget we're related so closely...

**8.45**

And sometimes, when I'm all alone in my dark bedroom, I simply pretend he is my fiftieth cousin twenty times removed.

**8.46**

If that's even possible.

**8.47**

But, now that I think about it, that was probably a barmy thing to say.

**8.48**

I hope I'm not expected to dress up much. I'm a bit bored of Formal Affairs at the moment, because just last night we went to the Ministry's Christmas Fling. And that was boring. All these Department Heads inquiring about my life post-Hogwarts. Honestly. I'm going to travel. And then, eventually, inherit my dad's spot in the Department of Mysteries. That ought to be exciting.

**8.50**

I mean, it's pretty Top Secret. Dad can't even talk about it. Which is surprising, because he talks about a lot of things... But he has yet to reveal what he does.

**8.51**

Maybe I'll work at Flourish and Blotts for a bit... Or open my own shop.

**8.52**

Who knows. I could be London's Greatest Entrepreneur, and no one would even know it!

**8.53**

What would I sell? Certainly not food- I'm a terrible cook...

**8.54**

Ah well. I have a whole year to figure it out, so...

**3.07, Lounging in the Parlour**

So bloody bored... And the fact that the tree and presents are in the foyer, tempting me, isn't very helpful. But I have to resist.

**3.08**

Though I would like to know what the large, long present is...

**3.09**

Probably a new broomstick. James would love that- he'd want to try it out first thing when we have our first practise after hols.

**3.10**

But I will refuse to let him, or anyone else for that matter, touch it.

**3.16**

How much longer until the Dinner of Doom begins?

**3.17**

I really hope Mister and Missus Potter decide to leave Potter-Spawn and Sirius at home.

**3.18**

But knowing my luck, that won't happen.

**5.16, My Bedroom, "Getting Ready"**

So, apparently Mum forgot to inform me that this was indeed a formal occasion. Honestly, I can only wear floor-length gowns for so long... Soon enough, these bloody dresses will be glued to my skin.

**5.17**

I would imagine that that would get slightly uncomfortable after a time...

**5.18**

It's between the Scarlet Thing One and the Emerald Thing Two...

**5.19**

I'm thinking Emerald Thingy, seeing as I wore the Scarlet Thingy last night at the Ministry Event.

**5.34, Stalling**

I really don't want to go downstairs. I can hear all their voices... And Sirius and James are loud, as per usual.

**5.43**

And here they all come bounding up the stairs, no doubt to knock my door from its hinges and then have me molested in my loo by Black.

**5.44**

Urgh.

**5.45**

Go away...

**5.49**

And they're here. Poking about my room and such while Sirius is searching for my knicker drawer...

**5.52**

I better get them downstairs before they hurt themselves. Sometimes I think I'm the only sane person 'round this place.

**8.26, Parlour, Enjoying the Company of Family Minus Black**

Alright, so I'm not _really_ enjoying their company. James and Sirius are entertaining Jack, which is nice because that gives me time to write.

**8.28**

Dinner was rather uneventful except Sirius felt the need to have his hand on my leg all night.

**8.29**

I really ought to put a restraining order on that boy.

**8.30**

But then he'll just be tempted to come after me more, won't he?

**8.31**

Probably. What a twat.

**8.37**

How much longer until they leave?

**8.38**

Please, Merlin, make it soon!

**11.02, My Bedroom, Bed**

Well, Sirius presented me with his gift and insisted that I open it. It's actually a lovely little Ancient Coin set. Has pieces from all over the world... It was a rather thoughtful thing of him to do. James said that I wasn't allowed to open his present until tomorrow morning and that I must owl him immediately to tell him how much I like it.

**11.04**

However, I did get Sirius and James to take a look at the Shakespeare texts... And after they shared a knowing look, they told me Remus had bought them for me a few weeks ago...

**11.05**

It all makes sense now, I suppose. With the mistletoe and such. And of course Remus would know what I really wanted, I mean I only went on about it for the longest time after I saw them in Hogsmeade.

**11.06**

I suppose I should owl him a thanks, right? Or I could just use the fireplace...

**26th of December, 1.04 in the Morning, Bedroom**

Well, I ended up flooing to the Lupin's house. Apparently I forgot how to do the speaking-only thing... I'll need to work on that.

**1.05**

Anywuggles, I'm really surprised that Remus' parents welcomed me so. I bet my mum's spoken to them about how Remus and I would be a lovely match... That would be something she would do. But, that aside, it was fun spending time with Remus. His parents went off to bed at about 11.30, so we were unsupervised for an hour and a half almost... Not that we did anything.

**1.07**

I told him how much I loved his present and he asked me how I knew that they were from him. And did I lie? No, I did not. I told him that James and Sirius told me. He seemed a bit perturbed about Sirius being at my place... Which I soon discovered the reason why: Apparently, the day after he'd told me off, Lily and Sirius teamed up against him to tell him what wanker he was and Sirius gave him that lovely bruise I noticed the other day.

**1.09**

Makes me feel a bit bad that people so readily gang up against Remus. He can't help it- he's a hormonal teenage boy.

**1.10**

Although I suppose that really isn't much of an excuse either...

**1.11**

Whatever. Moving on.

**1.12**

So, we had some Hot Chocolate and we sat on the couch... And really mostly talked about things... He said it was nice actually talking to me without you around. Pfft... Right, well I suppose I started to fall asleep a bit because before I knew it Remus was gently shaking me and telling me I should go home to get some sleep.

**1.13**

With a "Happy Christmas," I was up and heading to the fireplace, preparing to floo back to this cozy room of mine, but then he pulled a stealthy, debonair, Sirius-like move: he stopped me by quickly wrapping his arm around my waist, turning me to face him, and then giving me a kiss.

**1.14**

Honestly!

**1.15**

Well, I suppose I'll admit that I did _sort of_ enjoy it.

**1.16**

Mainly because it was unexpected, alright? Nothing more. I am not attracted to Remus because he's my best mate and girls aren't supposed to fall for their best mates because that just messes everything up.

**1.17**

You know, he has very soft lips... And it was sort of nice to have him so near me _without_ a stoney wall against my back.

**1.18**

But all of that pales in comparison to that fact that I will be waking up in a few hours to slide down the banister and get to opening my presents. So, good night... Erm. Well, I suppose I mean to say good morning...

**1.19**

Right. I'm bloody tired, if you couldn't tell...

**7.32, Morning, Surrounded by Presents**

I got everything I wanted! Ahahaha. And James' present was absolutely astounding: tickets to the Holyhead Harpies first game of the New Year! I can't wait to go, especially because it is the day before I have to go back to Hogwarts. It better be a good game or I'll be writing a strongly worded letter to the captain and manager. Mark my words! Oh, and Lily got me a video of Ponty Mython! (Fetchez la vache!) Well, I think I'm going to go play in the snow... Hercules needs to be let out anyway, otherwise he might accidentally leave Squinky a present on the carpet...

**10.23, Kitchen Table**

Well, I was enjoying a nice, hot breakfast of porridge and tea but then Mum decided to dump a bunch of parchment in front of me so I can get my Thank You Notes done. Bloody waste of time, if you ask me. No one sends these anymore!

**10.26**

... _Merlin!_

**10.28**

Remus _kissed_ me!

**10.29**

No, journal, I'm not bloody mad. I mean, I suppose it just didn't register... But...

**10.30**

My God!

**10.31**

Well... Erm.

**10.32**

Right.

**10.34**

Thank You Note time... No more of this thinking about Mr. Lupin snogging me.

**10.35**

Not that it was a snogfest... Well, at least I don't think it was.

**10.36**

Then again, he could've slipped something into my Hot Chocolate...

**10.38**

Though I really doubt he did.

**10.39**

Elizabeth, stop thinking about this!

**10.40**

He was probably just using me as practise anyway... He'll probably be whisking away some silly little fourth year nit as soon as we get back to Hogwarts for all I know.

**10.41**

Stop, Lizzie! Stop it, stop it, stop it!

**3rd of January, 9.47 in the Morn, Getting Ready to Leave**

Yay! Today's the big day: Holyhead Harpies game! James really can be brilliant when he tries.

**9.48**

Which is a rare occurrence.

**9.50**

Well, I must be off. I'll write as soon as I get back, which will probably be after dinner since I'm stopping at Bridget's on the way home. So, yeah.

**5.16**

I'm absolutely ecstatic! They won! By a _landslide_! Amazing match, great seats... I mean, for a bit it was looking like they would be killed, but no! They came back! And it was simply astounding! Perhaps I should look into a Quidditch profession before I inherit my place at the Ministry?

**5.17**

No, that'd be stupid probably. And Mummy Dearest wouldn't approve at all.

**5.18**

When have I ever cared about what she thought? ... Erm. Never, I guess...

**5.19**

But I may just be blinded by my burning teenage need to be rebellious and angsty.

**5.20**

Haha.

**5.23**

Now that I think about it, I probably have to go out and buy a tevelision now that I have Ponty Mython... Lily did this so I could boost Muggle Economy! Argh! It was all part of her evil, muggle-born Master Plan to make me buy worthless boxes that I don't really need and then I'll just sit in front of it all day getting fat!

**5.24**

She's a stupid little nit, isn't she?

**--------------------------------------**

Well, finally I could upload this. My internet was being absolutely ridiculous, but now it's being nice. I hope everyone is enjoying their time off! As usual, Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe, and all that you do not recognize from her books belong to me. Monty Python also owns all of their genius... So, I hope to have chapter 20 up tomorrow once it's been thoroughly edited. And if anyone has free time to see any movies, I _highly_ suggest "Sweeney Todd" and "Atonement." I very much enjoyed both. Well, **please, please, please review** Thanks for reading. Yours.


	20. A Mission to Change the World

**4th of January, 12.23, Hogwarts Express, Compartment**

So, I'm stuck all by myself with James, Sirius and Remus because Bridget decided that she really needed some candy from the trolley and that she couldn't wait twenty more minutes. Honestly, she is the most impatient person I know. And that isn't something to be proud of, if you ask me.

**12.26**

So, the blokes are playing Exploding Snap and insist that I join them in Round Four. That is the one card game that I have no idea why it is still played- it has very little entertainment value. Plus, back in second year, I got a massive paper cut on my finger due to a snapping card. Pain, I tell you! Sheer and utter pain!

**12.28**

Which is why I now refuse to play Exploding Snap.

**12.29**

Not that it is really any of your business.

**12.32**

Yay! Bridget's back with Chocolate Frogs!

**12.33**

Urgh. Mine jumped into Black's lap.

**12.34**

He just told us that he fancies a lap dance.

**12.35**

Pervert.

**12.36**

I wish all the other compartments weren't full of barmy little first years.

**12.37**

The platform was so packed with little children and their parents, kissing them goodbye and all that such. I'm so glad my parents don't do that anymore. And the whole Parental Separation Anxiety more or less ends after the first Winter Hols. Then you finally smarten up and realise that life may be a wee bit better without Mummy and Daddy breathing down your neck all day long.

**12.39**

Right.

**12.40**

Bridget wants me to check out her new Witch Weekly. Apparently there is a two-page spread on some bloke who is "to die for." I'll believe it when I see it.

**12.41**

I very much hope he's wearing clothing...

**3.14, Back in the Compartment **

Just changed into my robes. Bridget is still in line waiting for a loo to change in. You know, she was standing right next to me but then she saw Tristan Davenport (her new obsession) and decided to stand in line by him. He had waved me over to join him, but I was not going to sacrifice my place in line, thanks. I was on a mission; a Mission to Change the World! Well, maybe not to change the world but to at least change my clothing.

**3.16**

The Marauders (minus Peter, who decided to stay at Hogwarts) also went off to change. Who knows what could be taking them. James is probably talking to someone from the Quidditch team about practise this coming Saturday, Sirius is probably pleasing himself in ways I'm uninterested in knowing, and Remus... Hmm, what would distract Remus? I don't know.

**3.19**

... I don't think it is possible for Remus to be distracted, actually.

**3.20**

Speaking of Remus, he's here!

**3.21**

'Ello!

_Hey._

Is it possible for you to be distracted?

_What?_

Well, I was trying to think of what could possible distract you, and I couldn't come up with anything.

_Ah, I see._

And I gave it some thought, you know. I've been thinking about it for five minutes!

_Don't think too hard, Lizabeth, you might hurt yourself._

My! How very rude of you, Mr. Lupin.

_I was only teasing you._

Right.

_And yes, I do get distracted. Rather easily, actually._

By what?

_I think you mean to ask "by who?"_

... Beg pardon?

_Elizabeth, to be honest, you __are__ a very distracting person._

Oh. Is that a bad thing?

_No, not at all._

But how can I be distracting? Honestly, I mostly sit around and write.

_I know._

Well, then how am I a distraction?

_You just are._

Right.

_Erm, about the other night..._

Which one? Oh! When I flooed to your house. Yeah, what about it?

_I... Well, er... I wanted to apologise for my actions. I don't know what came over me._

What are you talking about? ... Oh.

_Yeah._

Well, I can't say that I forgive you.

_Why not?_

Because, it wasn't as though it were awful or anything...

_Oh._

**3.33**

... Remus is studying me...

**3.35**

Intently.

**3.38**

... _Awkward_!

**3.39**

It's a very strange feeling to be so closely scrutinized, you know. I cannot even begin to explain to you how

**3.44**

_Merlin_!!!

**3.45**

That was so bloody close. I mean...

**3.47**

Right, now that Sirius is done asking me about what I'm writing, I can explain what just happened: So, I was unable to finish my entry for 3.39 because that is the exact moment that Remus pulled you out of my hands and began snogging me. And this wasn't just a kiss like the Mistletoe Incident or Christmas Night At the Lupins. No- this was a proper _snog_. As in the kind of thing Sirius does. Except much more tasteful and no fondling...

**3.48**

To be honest, I had no idea what was happening when he started to pull you away. No bloody clue. But before I could ask anything his lips were against mine... And I couldn't just push him away because, yes, I suppose it was actually enjoyable... Just as snogging ought to be.

**3.49**

But then we both heard voices outside the compartment and kind of jumped apart, so that he was sitting as far away from me as possible whilst I was in the corner by the window...

**3.50**

I was snogged by Remus Lupin!

**3.51**

I don't know what to do...

**3.52**

I really need to talk to Lily about this as soon as I see her.

**3.53**

I can't really tell Bridget because she'd start squealing, thus causing James and Sirius to become curious, and then she would tell them.

**3.54**

That is just how Bridget functions.

**3.56**

Perhaps their theory about Remus fancying me _is_ true...

**3.57**

But no, it can't be. That would be bad.

**3.58**

I think.

**4.17**

I can't stop thinking about Remus snogging me!

**4.18**

What is wrong with my brain?!

**7.32, Great Hall, Dinner**

So, I've told Lily all about the Incident on the Train. She's absolutely ecstatic.

**7.33**

_This is wonderful news, Elizabeth! Soon you and Remus will be dating!_

I think not, dearest Lily.

_Elizabeth, you can't deny it. You have to be at least a bit attracted to him. He's amiable and smart and, well, I don' t know... He puts up with you rather well._

The way you speak about him would make some people think that you are interested in him.

_Lizzie, you know I'm not._

Yes, I suppose...

_I can't possibly be interested in anyone but my dear boyfriend!_

Urgh, don't indulge me in your creepy little fantasies about him.

_I wasn't planning on it._

So, what's The Plan?

_Well, I suppose I could ask him about it... Maybe convince him to tell you that he fancies you..._

He does not fancy me! He's just a hormonal bloke who was itching for some snoggy-action.

_You keep telling yourself that, Lizzie. See where it gets you._

**7.39**

I think in the mean time, I should prevent any further Incidents from happening by distancing myself from Remus.

**7.40**

I could completely throw myself into Quidditch. James would love that.

**7.42**

He's moved up this week's practise, by the way. It has been decided that Saturday is simply too long to wait to see how my new broom flies. He's very excited because now his Seeker will be even speedier than ever.

**7.43**

We're definitely winning the Cup this year!

**7.44**

I mean, we've won all of our games so far, which is a grand total of two... But, regardless, we're still going to win.

**7.45**

Our next game is against the Slytherins and, to be honest, they aren't doing very well this year. I've watched a few of their practises, and they just seem so scatterbrained... Which, of course, is a major advantage for us.

**7.49, En Route to Common Room**

I'm on the move!

**7.50**

I need some theme music right about now... The moment just feels right.

**7.52**

Music would certainly enhance the first trek of the new year to the Common Room.

**7.52**

But I suppose "Fetchez la Vache: The Song" will have to suffice.

**--------------------------------------**

Happy New Year, everyone! Best wishes for 2008. Anyway, here's chapter 20! It's a bit shorter than the past few chapters, but oh well. I've been sleeping most of the day because I stayed up way later than I usually do last night. As usual, J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe, and everything else is mine. I hope you enjoyed and **REVIEW**!! Yours.


	21. Making A Huge Mess of Everything

**10th of February, 7.39, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Breakfast**

Sorry it's been so terribly long since I last wrote. Time, it would seem, has been escaping me recently due to the mass amounts of essays the Nazis are assigning and then the lovely every-other-day Quidditch practises Hitler Reincarnated demands of us poor Quidditch players. Honestly, that James! It's freezing cold outside and yet he still expects us to play our best. Abso-bloody-lutely ridiculous, I say. Right, anyway, I've been doing a rather good job of avoiding Remus as I am still unsure what to make of the Train Snogging Incident. So, I've been spending a lot of time with Sirius, which is not good for my mental state. I find I've been especially barmy these past weeks, partaking in pranks and even enjoying a few snogs here and there.

**7.44**

And, yes, I did just say _enjoying_. Surprising, I know, but it would seem Sirius has decided to stop being a git and treat me with mild respect. Which means no fondling.

**7.45**

... Not that I'm interested in him at all because, well, that would be bad. Very bad.

**7.46**

And not bad in the cool way, either.

**7.49**

Oh, bullocks. I may fancy Sirius Black just a wee bit. Emphasis on "wee."

**7.52**

Don't give me that look, journal! Honestly, do you know how difficult it is to not be slightly attracted to the bloke? He's incredibly easy on the eyes, has moments of exceptional brilliance, and, well... I'll admit he's a right good snogger.

**7.54**

Which I'm beginning to suspect is a God-given gift in and of itself.

**7.55**

Right, well...

**7.57**

_Elizabeth Reynolds, I did __not__ just see that you wrote you fancy Sirius Black._

Lily! You shouldn't be reading over my shoulder! This is private business, you know.

_Right, and I'm the Queen._

You could be for all I know about you muggle folk.

_That's not funny._

What isn't? Me insulting your muggle-ness or the fancying Sirius bit?

_Both! I thought you hated him?_

He's grown on me.

Oh, don't give me that look, Lily!

_I thought you fancied Remus? I mean, what with the snogging and obvious interest he has in you..._

I, well... Erm... I don't know. Sirius really isn't that bad, though!

_Dear Merlin, save us._

**8.10, Room of Requirement**

Well, Lily is annoying me. Honestly, last I was aware, she had no say in whether I have an interest in someone. Speaking of, did you even know there was a Room of Requirement? It's fascinating, actually. You just have to walk back and forth three times and there you go- the room of your dreams! Quite convenient, I must say, especially when I want to be left alone. Sirius showed me.

**8.12**

Perhaps I should explain this Sirius Thing to you... Haha. Sirius Thing... Serious Thing... That's bloody hilarious!

**8.13**

Alright, so, as you know, he and I have been spending quite a bit of time together recently due to my distancing of myself from Mr. Lupin. I have nothing against Remus, but, honestly, he's been very confusing since the night before hols when he yelled at me. I just don't understand. And, well, Sirius and I actually have quite a few classes together, and thus we have a lot of the same assignments. So, we started by helping each other out with those, meeting in the library and stuff, and he really is rather smart when he's not around his fellow Marauders, where he seems to ooze stupid. And then he kind of invited me to join them in pranking Snape-A-Doodle-Doo. (My new name for Severus- it's what Yanks think roosters say... Barmy lot don't know a thing about animals, do they?) Anywuggles, we also have Quidditch together, seeing as he's a beater and I'm a seeker... And we both enjoy teasing James because he's so serious about the sport... And, I don't know, I just have found myself around him a lot. Plus, the snogging is far more enjoyable at this point, now that he's learned to keep his hands in a normal place and that I've learned where to put my own hands.

**8.19**

Experience never killed a woman, you know. I can't be almost of age and never enjoyed a decent Honest-to-Merlin Snog. That would be, well, depressing.

**8.20**

I'd have to go throw myself off the Astronomy Tower or something...

**8.21**

That'd be a mess afterwards, though...

**8.22**

Why am I thinking such morbid and suicidal thoughts?!

**8.25**

_Are you contemplating death?_

No, I'm not... When did you get here anyway?

_A few minutes ago. I've been standing behind you since you started writing about "Honest-to-Merlin Snogs."_

Lovely.

_Yeah, I know. So, what are you doing here all by yourself then this early in the morning?_

Lily was annoying me.

_What? Lily Evans being a nuisance? I don't believe it._

Well, she's hellbent on thinking that Remus and I should be a couple.

_Ah. And what do you think of this?_

Erm, I don't really know... You see, he's a very confusing individual, which is why I haven't been spending as much time with him recently.

_That I've noticed. Why is that, if you don't mind my asking?_

... Well, we kind of snogged on the train.

_Figured as much._

What? You knew?!

_Why else would the two of you be out of breath and red in the face? Must have been some Marathon Snog you had._

Well, not exactly... It only lasted a few minutes.

_Hmm, we could beat that._

Sirius...

_I was only joking. Too early to snog anyway._

At least you have moral standards.

_Ha! Inconceivable! Me? Moral standards? I think not._

I can dream.

_And I strongly encourage you to do so._

Oh, you are so sick and twisted, Mr. Black! How so many girls fancy you, I don't even know.

_Ah, but you are one of them._

What? No... I'm not.

_Sure. And that's why Lily's knickers are in such a twist. Because, for once, she was wrong._

What do you mean?

_You'll see soon enough. _

I have to wait?

_You're quite an impatient little pip, aren't you?_

Oi, only my dad can refer to me as "pip," is that clear?

_Why does he call you that anyway?_

You'll laugh.

_I promise I won't._

My middle name is Philippa.

_Lovely name._

No it's not. Elizabeth Philippa Reynolds- sounds bloody stupid, if you ask me. Stupid family name.

_Well, as you've pointed out before, it's still not as bad as mine._

Right, well...

_Mmm..._

What?

_Want to snog?_

I thought it was too early to snog?

_No. It's 8.39 now. We could've been snogging nine minutes ago._

Well, sorry Oh Great Master Black, but I'm not in the mood for snogging right now.

_Are you certain?_

**8.40**

Urgh, the one thing that annoys me about Sirius is that all he ever really wants to do is snog. I'm off to meet with James now- he wanted to discuss my Marauder Inductee something-or-other.

**9.30, Gryffindor Common Room**

I just wasted 45 minutes listening to James go over Marauder Rules and how I can't abuse my position. Also, he says since I am a female, some of the rules don't apply to me. And we had to waste time going over those ones. He was very upset when he realised I wasn't taking any notes. Honestly, Jamesie-Wamsie, I have a brain that functions properly and my memory works just fine, thanks.

**9.32**

But does he acknowledge this fact? Of course not!

**9.35**

Merlin- Remus just came in with Sirius... And he isn't looking at all pleased.

**9.36**

Although James has finally left me alone about rules and all that rubbish.

**9.37**

Besides, when have the Marauders ever payed any mind to rules and regulations anyway? That's what I want to know.

**9.38**

Ah well. They're all barmy, so... I suppose the rules only are there to encourage complete and utter barmy-ness.

**9.42**

This coming weekend is the Hogsmeade Valentine's trip... I'm not yet sure if I'm going to go. I don't really need anything at the moment as I have a full stock of chocolate and sugar quills...

**9.43**

And no bloody date. Honestly, I'm not going to go to Hogsmeade all by my onesy. Nope, nope, nope.

**9.45**

I could go with the Gang... Oh, never mind. Just remembered that they all have dates.

**9.46**

Which shouldn't surprise me.

**9.47**

Actually it does, seeing as they all are much more barmy than I am...

**9.49**

Never mind.

**9.54**

James is expressing his disappointment in me with the entire Common Room as an audience. He's such a lovely cousin, I'll have you know.

**9.55**

His disappointment here meaning my lack of note-taking during his long, boring speech about Marauder Rules. Honestly, if there are any more rules that we have to go over, I won't be an Honourary Marauder until Easter.

**9.56**

Absolute bullocks.

**12.03, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Lunch, Across from Sirius**

Sooooo...

**12.04**

Basically, no one is really around except for Sirius.

**12.05**

Which I don't mind, except for the fact that he eats like a bloody cow.

**12.06**

No, I lied. He eats like a starving lion.

**12.07**

It's as though he's never even heard of Table Manners before...

**12.09**

Merlin, Sirius, don't chew with your mouth open!

_But I like to._

Why?

_It's fun to watch your facial expression change from disgusted to baffled to revolted. _

I'm sure it gives you much amusement.

_It does._

... I don't think I'll ever be able to look at you again.

_Why?_

You just got rubbish all over this page, that's why. Honestly, did you ever learn basic Table Manners?

_... Not that I can recall._

**12.15**

That cheeky little imp! He just stuffed potatoes into my mouth... Or, well, he attempted to. Ended up making a huge mess of everything and caused some to molest my bosom area... Urgh. I feel like I need to take a shower now...

**12.16**

Which I will most certainly do!

**1.35, Gryffindor Tower, Girls' Dormitory, My Bed**

... Well, I suppose my Hogsmeade Valentine's trip plans have changed from not happening to happening. Why? Because that bloody Black boy asked me and I, quite stupidly, agreed.

**1.36**

Lily is going to kill me.

**--------------------------------------**

Hello, dear readers! I'm very sorry that it's been so long. I know there is no real excuse to suffice for my lack of updating, but I can provide you with the fact that I've been entirely too busy. But both Show Choir and Jazz Band seasons are coming to a close, meaning I actually can have a life on weekends now. So, I hope that you all don't hate me too much and that you enjoyed this chapter. Don't be upset if you are still rooting for Remus and Elizabeth. It's gonna happen, trust me. There are just some things Lizzie and Remus both need to discover for it to happen. Anyway, as always, **please review** whether you hated it or loved it. Keep reading! Yours.


	22. Casual Mates with Snogging Benefits

**1.40, Girls Dormitory, Under My Bed**

I can already hear Lily storming up the stairs. Merlin, does she have a temper!

**1.56**

So, I was just lectured by Lily about how I shouldn't be going to Hogsmeade with Sirius for the Valentine's weekend because it'll just break Remus' poor, little heart. Also, apparently, Sirius is a horrible person who only uses girls for a short period of time and blah, blah, blah. 

**1.57**

Oh, and I forgot to add that she officially hates Sirius and me now. 

**6.16, Great Hall, Dinner, Avec le Gang**

Right, well, Lily is ignoring me, obviously. Anne and Bridget as chattering away, over the fact that half of our gang is having a bit of a row... But neither of them are siding with Lily on this one, thankfully, so I have the advantage of numbers.

**6.18**

You'll see, journal. She'll have completely forgotten about being mad at me by the end of this week. She's not really one to hold a grudge.

**6.19**

And, honestly, who could resist my brilliance and charming smile?

**13th of February, 2.34, Charms, Next to Sirius**

There's so much hub-bub going 'round about Valentine's Day. How droll. Honestly, it's like no one cares about anything else. I for one could care less so long as Sirius doesn't follow me around all day, serenading me as he says he plans to do. (James confirmed his little Plot of Embarrassment this morning at breakfast.) It'll be right humiliating, I'm sure. But I can always call off our "date" this Saturday. Then he'll stop and beg for me to go.

**2.36**

I've actually called it off about five times since he asked me. Only because it stops him from being annoying. And it gives me an advantage, as it truly is the only one I seem to have.

**2.38**

But no more of that, seeing as for the past three days I've been receiving the most unpleasant looks from Remus... Why can't he just go back to ignoring me? I would rather that than being death glared at...

**2.39**

Le sigh. 

**14th of February, 6.23, Great Hall, Dinner, Slowly Sinking Under the Table**

Well, if this isn't the most embarrassing moment of my life, I'm not quite sure what is... And what's worse that everyone is looking from Sirius to me and then back to Sirius again. And my mates are all laughing hysterically and not helping cover for me as I gracefully try to hide in a not-so-obvious manner. But no, it seems Cupid has it in for me tonight. Indeed.

**6.25**

Why won't he just stop singing? And why does there have to be accompaniment? He probably bribed the bloody Hogwarts Band to play... And Flitwick was in on it, since he's conducting! That man, I mean, honestly. I thought he liked me, _me_, his most beloved student. But, no. Not anymore. I will rebel in his class as much as possible now. What a wanker... Though I probably shouldn't call a teacher that, should I? 

**6.26**

Dumbledore is laughing! Oh, my world is such a sad place right now. Although the tune is very catchy... Doo-dee-doo, "Love is all that I can give to you, Love is more than just a game for two, Two in love can make it, Take my..." NO! Why am I writing out the lyrics? Curse you, hand of mine! 

**6.27**

Thank Merlin it's over... Oh, bugger. Sirius is coming for me. This is where I scramble away, trying to avoid legs and feet.

**6.33, Running Away**

Ahahaha! I got away! Although my exit was no where near as amazing as I'd hoped it would be. No, I kind of stumbled out the door because some bloody first year thought it'd be brilliant to stick his leg in my way. 

**6.48, In the Safety of the Gryffindor Common Room**

It won't be soon before everyone comes in and starts teasing me... Urgh, this night has been horrific.

**6.49**

Why couldn't he have just left the festivities at the singing Valentine card and the roses and the chocolate? I mean, yeah... 

**6.50**

Argh! Must hide! 

**6.51, Attempting to Go Unnoticed Behind the Tapestry**

So, not the best hiding place, but it's not as though people actually look at the walls, right? Thus no one will notice the oddly lumpy Lady and the Unicorn Tap

**7.13, Girls Dormitory**

Bloody hell! Sirius Black is such a wanker! Of course he has to go and disprove my assumption that no one looks at the walls by kidnapping me from my safe place. And then he has to throw me over his shoulder and carry me through the portrait hole and down the corridor to some little alcove where he starts snogging the daylights out of me. Although, admittedly, the snogging itself was not so bad at all. In fact, it was quite enjoyable and I even let my hands explore a little.

**7.14**

Don't think those horrible, dirty thoughts, journal! I only meant that I kind of explored under his shirt. And, I swear, that boy must be descended from the gods or something for he has the most glorious abs! 

**7.15**

But I shall speak no more of that... I really do need to finish my Runes essay on the importance of understanding the languages of our history... Right-o. Till later then.

**11.23, Nestled Warm and Snug in My Bed**

Finally finished that bloody essay. But my hand hurts horribly. I think it would be wise to invest in one of those quills that writes whatever you think... I mean, then I could be writing in here without having to move a muscle! Imagine that.

**11.25**

Anyway, I might have some of that chocolate Sirius gave me this morning when he wasn't being such a prat and embarrassing me in front of the entire bloody school. 

**11.26**

Mmm! This chocolate is quite delectable! I think I may have another!

**11.33**

Alright, I better stop now before I just automatically gain weight on my hips. As my mother so frequently tells me, I don't need that!

**15th of February, 7.04, Great Hall, Breakfast, With the Gang**

I'm still too embarrassed to sit next to Sirius. And I'm still trying to figure out why he would do that. We aren't even a couple! We're just, erm, casual mates with snogging benefits... And, well... Erm... Right.

**7.06**

_L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is very, very extra-ordinary, E is _

Oh, for Merlin's sake, stow it, Lily. You hate Black and me anyway!

_But that was before I realised how very much he cares for you._

What caused you to realise that?

_His wonderful singing last night. _

That was embarrassing! You shouldn't be taking delight in your best mate's embarrassment!

_But why not? It was delightful! So, are you two together now?_

Whatever happened to you rooting for Remus and me? Is that long and forgotten in that muggle-inherited brain of yours?

_No, I'm still holding out for you two, but who says you aren't allowed to have fun now, eh?_

You're a barmy cow.

_And you're a little twit._

Don't call me little!

_Small-ish._

**7.11**

That Lily Evans, I swear...

**7.15**

Hmmm, well, tomorrow is the big day. That should be fun. 

**7.16**

Sirius'll probably just want to snog the whole time.

**7.17**

He can only hold conversation for so long what with that limited vocabulary of his.

**7.18**

You know, I'm rather mean to him, aren't I? I shouldn't be, but I just can't help it.

**7.19**

After five-and-a-half years, it becomes quite the habit.

**7.20**

But he teases me about my shortness all the time, so, it's not entirely my fault I joke about his stupidity, even though he isn't that stupid.

**7.23, En Route to the Common Room**

I left my bag in the dormitory. Probably will need that at some point today, yeah?

**7.25**

And I might grab my clip-cloppers on the way... Those may come in handy whilst I try my new Rebellious Phase in Charms today. 

**7.26**

Bwahahaha, Flitwick is going to be so annoyed with me by the end of class today!

**7.27**

Brilliant.

**7.35, Girls Dormitory**

Well, I can't seem to locate my clip-cloppers... Hmm, wait! I loaned them to James last week. They're probably still up in his dormitory... 

**7.37, Steps Leading to the Boys Dormitory**

I am bravely going to venture where many girls have gone before: The Sixth Year Boys' Dormitory!

**7.39, Boys Dormitory**

Well, it's quite a mess in here... Looks like some kind of natural disaster happened... 

**7.40**

Ah, good times. I remember my epic Shrine Hunt with Remus... It seems like that happened so long ago now, seeing as we don't really talk much anymore... 

**7.41**

... What was my purpose for coming here again?

**7.42**

Oh, right! To find my clip-cloppers! Better start searching!

**7.49, En Route to Divination**

Well, I found my clip-cloppers, but that's not really the purpose for writing. You see, just as I was shouting "Eureka!" in a very Yankee kind of way, Remus walked in and I received four different looks in the span of two seconds. First there was the shocked look, then the curious look, next was the ever-popular slightly-angry look, and, finally, the annoyed/"I'm just going to pretend I don't see her there" look. Which lead to my awkward greeting of "Howdy." Yes, I did say "Howdy." My exact words. True, true. 

**7.52**

I wish I'd said something at least slightly normal. But, no, I have to be a prospector from the American Wild West. 

**7.53**

What is wrong with me!

**8.06, Divination, Across from Bridget**

I really think I'm dropping this useless class next year. I don't have the "Inner Eye" nor do I want to. Not my style.

**8.07**

My style is more, "Write-y, write-y, read-y, read-y" and vise versa. 

**8.08**

That was quite possibly the most intelligent thing I've said all morning! Yes! High-five to myself in my head!

**8.09**

La dee da... 

**8.23**

How much slower can this class possibly go? 

**8.24**

Bridget's snoring... Wonder what kept her up so late last night that she didn't get much sleep?

**8.25**

Haha... I just snickered... 

**8.26**

Whoever said I would make a terrible Slytherin was wrong. In fact, I'd make a great Slytherin seeing as I've finally perfected The Sneer, and now I have The Snicker down. In fact, being a Slytherin isn't that hard to do!

**8.49, Packing Everything Up**

That was quite possibly the slowest class ever. 

**8.51, Going Down the Stairs**

Just another reason to drop Divination!

**2.16, Charms, Partnered-Up avec Jamesie-poo**

Well, I've already proved to be quite the nuisance today by making a very loud, clip-cloppy entrance. And, I clip-clopped over to James. 

**2.18**

But Flitwick still doesn't seem annoyed. What if I turn James into a puffy, little, yellow thing? 

**2.19**

That would be quite annoying, especially because this is _Charms_, not Transfiguration. 

**2.20**

Brilliant idea! Now, to turn James into the most adorable, little, puffy yellow thing ever!

**2.24**

Mwahahahahaha! That's hilarious! He's a puffy yellow thing with glasses! Ah, one moment, I have to high-five Sirius.

**2.25**

I think I've found my inner Marauder!

**2.26**

Haha! James just tried to speak, but he squeaked instead! Oh, tears are coming to my eyes!

**2.27**

This is just too much!

**2.35**

Awww, Flitwick changed him back. And he's asked to see me after class. Oh, blast.

**2.36**

Note the sarcasm.

**2.38**

Well, James is a pretty good sport. He thought it was pretty brilliant, too. And he says that I am definitely fulfilling the Honourary Marauder position that I've acquired.

**--------------------------------------**

It's Spring Break! Yay! So, look out for some hopefully awesome updating skills this coming week. Hope you liked the chapter. The Harry Potter Universe belongs to J.K. Rowling. That which you do not recognize from the books or movies belong to yours truly. Anyway, the little, puffy yellow thing that Lizzie turned James into was inspired by Katie from "Horton Hears a Who," which is a very cute movie that I recommend. It made me laugh. A lot. And the song that Sirius sang was "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole. (Or, at least, that is the recording of it that I prefer.) Hope you enjoyed! As always, **please keep reading and reviewing!** Much love. 


	23. Milking the Snogging Cow

**16th of February, 9.37, Girls Dormitory**

Well, journal, today is the day. Yes, the Big Date with the Hogwarts Sex God. Alright. Oddly enough, I'm really not nervous or anything, which deeply concerns Anne, seeing as she was all wobbly-kneed before her first "date" with him. Although I hardly consider it a date, because we are just mates even though I slightly fancy him. But that doesn't matter at all, now does it? Of course not. Because in twenty years, he'll probably be married to some random girl from the pub and he'll be fat and balding. Mmhmm, in a perfect world, that is how Sirius Black would turn out. 

**9.39**

Ahahahahahaha!! 

**9.40**

_Lizzie's Journal,_

_Terribly sorry, but we had to pry you away in order to prepare her for her Super Date with the ever-delicious Sirius Orion Black. And, yes, I suppose I should be upset with her because she is dating my ex-boyfriend, but I'm not. Because it's good to see Elizabeth happy, seeing as she has been denying Remus for so very long._

_Wow... I actually understand why she writes in here so much- it's sort of addicting! _

_I better stop writing now._

_Cheers, Anne_

**10.16, In a Carriage with Sirius**

Even though Sirius thinks I'm bloody mad, I still brought you. I mean, this isn't any different that going to Hogsmeade with my mates, right? It's only the Valentine's Weekend trip. Pfft. Since when does that matter? 

**10.18**

Haha. I can only imagine how the Fan Club feels about this... I bet they're all planning my kidnapping and horrible murder right now. 

**10.19**

_Are you mad?_

Only slightly. But you already knew that, yeah?

_Of course. So, anything special you want to do today?_

Well, I'm sure you already have snogging on the agenda...

_Indeed._

And possibly a quick run into Zonko's...

_Yes._

Then a dash into Honeyduke's...

_You're amazing at guessing, you know._

Who said I was guessing?

_... No one._

Right-o. Hmm, we'll probably go to The Three Broomsticks, right?

_You know me so well, love._

Get off it, you barmy cow.

_Well, we're here, so __stop writing_

**10.23, En Route to Honeyduke's**

If he thinks that I'm not going to document this rather large to-do, then he's bloody mad.

**10.26, Honeyduke's**

As always, the place is crowded... But now I must make a beeline for the Sugar Quills!

**10.34, Waiting to Pay**

Sirius is paying for the eight boxes of Sugar Quills I grabbed. And now, I've officially depleted Honeyduke's of their Sugar Quill stock in less than ten minutes.

**10.35**

That takes skill, I'll have you know.

**10.36**

I should receive an award. 

**10.37**

Or not... You know, I'll just draw myself a prize ribbon!

**10.38**

That looks awful... Just pretend that my little cousin drew that or something. 

**10.43, En Route to Zonko's Joke Shop**

Sirius is thrilled... Apparently he's run out of Snape Torture Devices and he needs to resupply. Why am I not suprised? That poor bloke... With the face only a mother could love...

**10.44**

Wait, does Snape-adoodle even have a mum?

**10.45**

... I dunno. 

**10.48, Zonko's**

Bwahahahaha!! Sirius just tripped over his own feet since he was in such a rush to get into the shop!

**10.49**

Magnificently graceful, I must say. If all of his dates go this well, I can certainly understand why so many girls are after him! (_Not_.)

**10.50**

Oh, looks like our fellow Marauders had the brilliant idea to come here, too! James is a bit too busy laughing hysterically to give a proper greeting, though.

**10.51**

Understandable, considering his best mate just made a total arse out of himself in front of the whole store. 

**10.52**

I think Sirius deserves an award, too... I'm really in an award-giving mood today, aren't I? ... Bizarre.

**11.44, En Route to The Three Broomsticks**

Yes, we _did_ spend that much time in Zonko's. They had some amazing new products that will work fabulously on unsuspecting firsties, random victims of torture, or even our beloved Snape. 

**11.45**

You know, that would make a lovely title for a poem... "Our Beloved Snape." Perhaps I'll write it once we get to The Broomsticks?

**11.52, The Three Broomsticks, Settled in a Booth**

Time to compose a poem, since Sirius has gone to get us drinks. Erm, how do I start?

**11.53**

_Our Beloved Snape: A Poem by Elizabeth P. Reynolds_

Our Beloved Snape,

You have hair as black as an ape

But do not leave that mouth agape

With your hair now turning a lovely shade of grape.

Our Beloved Snape,

You make our young hearts ache

Perhaps you need a sun-bake,

Perhaps your large nose needs a reshape?

Our Beloved Snape,

You're just a bad spot on a beautiful landscape,

But, really, it's not a jape

For you are still Our Beloved Snape.

**12.03**

_Lizzie, that is a madly brilliant poem! You need to copy that and post it about the school. It'd be a laugh-riot._

You think so?

_I know so!_

That can be our project for tomorrow. 

_Lovely!_

**12.11**

Well, the Butterbeer is wonderful. And, to think, I was terrified to try it back in third year because my father had convinced me it truly was an alcoholic beverage and that, if I drank it, I would be expelled from Hogwarts forever. My father is so cruel to me! 

**12.12**

... But I was stupid enough to believe him.

**12.21**

Uh-oh, I sniff trouble... Remus is coming over to our table looking slightly perturbed...

**12.22**

And he would like to speak with me privately... 

**12.23**

Is this generally how "dates" go? With the bloke's best mate, who is currently avoiding you, wanting to speak with you privately about Merlin-knows-what?

**12.24**

Awkward silence... Is it acceptable for me to go with him or not?

**12.25**

Sirius just gave his approval after having this exchange of looks with our fellow Marauder... 

**12.26, En Route to Wherever Remus is Taking Me**

Why did Sirius just let me go like that? Isn't he supposed to be all "macho?" Protect his property and all that lot?

**12.27**

Fact: Boys are stupid. 

**12.28**

Sad how that's taken me this long to establish as fact... So very sad.

**12.32, Passing the Shrieking Shack**

And we're still walking. How privately does he wish to speak with me?!

**12.38, Lamely Standing in Some Clearing in the Woods**

Well, this is strange... Just standing here, looking around and writing and

_Elizabeth won't be writing for a bit- we need to have a serious conversation without her writing everything down word-for-word._

**1.17, Walking Back to Hogwarts**

... Oh, Merlin.

**1.46, Girls Dormitory**

Well, aside from being a bit out of breath from walking all the way back, I'm fine. I'm just really, really out of shape. 

**1.47**

But I do need to tell you what happened after Remus so rudely pulled you from my hands and tossed you into the snow. 

**1.48**

Well, we had a rather long discussion where he was mostly going on about this and that, but then he asked me why I started to ignore him. And I couldn't think of an answer right away, so I told him that I didn't know. And then he asked if it had anything to do with what had happened on the train... Which he was completely correct in guessing. 

**1.52**

So, anywubblies, he started asking me about why I was "all over" Sirius and then we had a decent row about that, and I'm still not quite sure who the winner was. But I told him that after the Train Incident I was very confused about him and his moodswings towards me and that Sirius was a lovely person to be in the company of when he wasn't being a complete prick. Remus was a bit angry at that statement, but I'd already said it, so I couldn't exactly rewind and take it back, now could I? So then he started to say something, but it came out in all mumbles and he ran his hand through his hair. And when I asked him to kindly to repeat what he said, he sighed and then closed the distance between us with one step and he started to snog me.

**1.57**

At first, I started to protest, but then I kind of melted into it. Like in those muggle film thingies that Lily makes me watch on occasion, you know, where the girl just gets the wobbly-knees and she has to wrap her arms around his neck, only to deepen the kiss. And it just feels like there are fireworks going off, even though there aren't, and the moment is just magical. 

**1.59**

It felt just like that...

**2.00**

And I couldn't stop kissing him! I suppose you could say I was milking the snogging cow for all it was worth, but... I couldn't stop, and he wouldn't stop!

**2.01**

What was I to do?!

**2.02**

I'm not sure how long we were snogging, but as soon as we both pulled away, I said that I had to be somewhere and then I took off after grabbing you. 

**2.03**

What have I done? I'm just stuck in a sticky web of entranced boys and I don't know what to do!

**2.04**

Le sigh. I'll have to consult with the gang, of course, but I think I need some alone time until evening. 

**2.05**

I may even write my mum about this...

**2.06**

Never mind. I can only imagine the reply I would get from that woman. 

**2.07**

Who do I go to with this? 

**2.08**

I suppose I could always ask McGonagall... She is all-knowing, right? And she won't judge me or give me a biased opinion, since she's a professor... 

**2.09**

And she always asks me how things are before we start my animagus lessons, anyway... Speaking of, I have one tomorrow afternoon at three... Hopefully I won't forget about it. 

**2.12**

I completely forgot about my date with Sirius!!

**2.13**

Bloody snogging cows and curse that Remus Lupin!

So, my updating skills haven't been so fantastic. I'm terribly sorry. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and, yes, this chapter is _very_ important to the plot, and I will let you know that it won't be soon before long! (Interpret as you wish.) As always, J.K. Rowling owns the World of Harry Potter and that which you don't recognize from the books or movies belongs to me, especially "Our Beloved Snape." Please **continue to read and review**! Reviews have been few and far between lately, kind of making me sad... Have I lost some of you? Happy Easter! Yours.


	24. Merlin Bless the Old Hag

**9.02, Kitchens, Evening**

I have discovered two new truths! 1) The apples are so much fresher when you get them directly from the kitchens rather than the Great Hall and 2) I need to become a secret agent. I have really got this incognito thing down! I've managed to avoid the Gang all afternoon and evening, and, when I heard them coming up to the dorm earlier I stealthily rolled underneath my bed. I waited until everyone left for dinner before taking the super long route to the Kitchens.

**9.05**

Alright, maybe I lied. It wasn't really the super long route. I kind of got lost for about two hours... But aside from my directional issues, which could easily be remedied I'm sure, I would make a wonderful spy.

**9.17**

Where do you suppose I should head to now? I was thinking I'd wait for everyone to be all snuggled up in bed and completely dead to the world before I made the trek back to the tower. I suppose I could try to see how lost I can manage to get for the next three hours...

**9.23, Hiding behind Armour**

So, I'm hiding because I heard Jamesie-poo's voice. And it's getting louder... And louder... And

**9.25**

I've been found! Woe is me. And here I was thinking that I had the talents of being incognito. But, alas. It's not the case.

**9.30, Sitting on stairs leading to Astronomy Tower**

James decided to let me free. I claimed he was oppressing me and stripping me of my natural rights by revealing my whereabouts to others. And I also threatened to castrate him, thus leaving him unable to reproduce and saving the world of Potter Spawn.

**10.51, Still Wandering Around**

I'm quite bored. I should've thought to bring my clip-cloppers. That would have at least provided me with entertainment and also aided in disturbing the peace, which is something I always aim to do during times like these.

**10.53**

Although, I've never really been stuck in this situation before...

**11.00, Room of Requirements**

I could just sleep in here for the night... After I sort out my feelings. I've resolved to speak to McGonagall about this, and I can't exactly go to her with my thoughts all a jumbled mess or I'll end up sounding like a barmy cow!

**11.02**

Right, well... Erm...

**11.03**

That was a right good snog I had with Remus! Honestly. Far better than the Train Incident. Quite a bit more romantic, too. Seeing as it was the Hogsmeade Valentine trip and all, even though we weren't really together per se.

**11.04**

Oh, what am I to do?!

**11.05**

Certainly both are desirable. It is difficult to ignore that fact. I mean, it's Sirius and Remus. How can I possibly be expected to choose!?

**11.06**

I do believe that Karma has it in for me. All these years I get nothing and then, BAM!! I have two blokes after me. Although it's quite hellish.

**11.08**

I must ponder...

**11.09**

Pros and cons!

**11.10**

The Pros of Sirius

- Obviously, he is one fine hunk of man/boy/thing

- Pretty talented in the snogging department

- He has a wicked sense of humour

- Enjoys pranking unsuspecting firsties, Slytherins, and Snape-adoodle

- He's cool

- Quidditch player!

- Definitely "sticks it to the man" in an amazing fashion

- Has the capacity to be suave

The Cons of Sirius

- We weren't really friends up until this year

- Sometimes pulls pranks on me

- Has control of the bludgers during Quidditch practice, and somehow they always come veering towards me

- Can be an utter prick

- Has a fan club

- Doesn't seem to care much about school, yet still manages to get better marks than me

**11.17**

Well, I'd say there are some pretty lovely Pros to Mr. Black... The first one being my favourite...

**11.18**

The Pros of Remus

- He is very sweet

- Cares about schoolwork, and manages to get marks similar to mine (thus, I don't feel so stupid)

- Willing to go on "silly little adventures" with me

- Doesn't pull pranks on me

- Also talented in the snogging department, however you would not know this simply by looking at him

- He is quite rather on the cute side...

- He has pretty eyes

- Knows a lot of useless trivia which he randomly spurts

- Known him for a long time, and thus he knows me better than I do sometimes

The Cons of Remus

- Sometimes he cares a little too much about schoolwork

- Doesn't play or appreciate the joys of Quidditch!

- My mom has had her heart set on me marrying him (she'll be planning our wedding if we become an item)

- He's a werewolf

**11.23**

I feel absolutely awful about the last con! It's not his fault, but it certainly does pose a problem, you know...

**11.25**

Le sigh. I think I shall sleep now. Maybe I'll think of more to add in the morning.

**17th of February, 6.13, Great Hall, Breakfast**

So, I figured that I'd try out my stealth skills again and I high-tailed it to the Hall for breakfast. It's actually quite peaceful right now. There are a few people up, mostly firsties and second years who are looking forward to playing in the fresh snow that fell during the night. Me, I could care less about the snow. I have more important things on my mind, such as who I'm going to choose!

**6.15**

And, I'm supposed to have done some research on different animagus forms before my lesson at three o'clock... Oh, joy!

**7.53, Library, Under the Table in the Back**

So, I'm only hiding because I brought food into the library with me, and I'm not really supposed to do that. Last time I brought food in here, Pince screeched at me. Like an owl. It was quite frightening and I do believe it scarred me for life. However, I must put the past behind me and move on.

**7.56**

Merlin, I'm still starving! Hush up, sodding stomach! I can't return to the Great Hall yet!

**7.57**

I'll just make a quick detour to the Kitchens once I'm done here.

**7.59**

So, this animagus form stuff... It's, erm, really fascinating... And, um...

**8.00**

It's not really doing it for me, I must say. I do wonder what animal I'll turn in to, though. McGonagall says I'll probably be able to fully morph by the end of April, which is apparently really impressive for "someone so young."

**8.01**

That was at my last lesson, where Dear Ol' Dumbles was there observing. He kept calling me a "whippersnapper."

**8.02**

... What does that even _mean_?!

**8.03**

Hm... McGonagall's a cat. A tabby or something. She's more knowledgeable about kitty-cat lingo than I am, so I don't really know what that means. If you ask me, she turns into a cat. And that's the end of the story. Period. Et cetera.

**8.04**

You know, a camel would be fun. Or an alpaca. Albeit, both are a little impractical... But who cares about practicality anyway!? Ahahaha, certainly not me!

**8.05**

I think I'd prefer a fox, though. I fancy myself to be quite clever, as foxes supposedly are... Not that I would know... I've never had the privilege of encountering a fox because my barmy dog, Hercules, feels the need to chase away every creature on the planet from our property. He's a wanker, I'll have you know. He's a wanker dog.

**8.07**

Actually, an arctic fox would be lovely. I swear to Merlin, they are the cutest little white puffs on the planet. And they're foxes and also relative to wolves. But I'm not sure why that matters. That's just what this bloody book is telling me.

**2.52, En Route to McGonagall's**

So, I've got it all planned out regarding my problem with Remus and Sirius. And, I checked out the book I was looking through this morning to show her my "research" on animagus forms. Honestly, my research is mostly random pages I picked out and, hopefully, there isn't anything weird on those few pages I selected.

**2.58**

Wish me luck, journal!

**4.32, Leaving McGonagall's, En Route to Gryffindor Common Room**

Merlin bless the old hag of a Transfigurations professor! I think I may have actually learned something from that woman, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with becoming an animagus or other Transfiguration such. She has given me the most superb advise, and I am very happy that, with some help, I've managed to figure out my little bloke issue. I must alert the Gang of all that has transpired- I've kind of been avoiding them all day.

**4.45, Girls Dormitory, Secret Gang Meeting**

Alright, so, as you know I have been avoiding you!

_That we most certainly noticed. Where were you?_

_What happened?_

Why'd you leave Sirius? You don't walk away from him on a date! I would know! You barmy minx.

Anne, don't call me a minx. It sounds oddly... Sexual. And to answer Lily's question, I was testing my stealth abilities and such. And I will be answering Bridget's question here very shortly.

I didn't mean it in a sexual way...

_Or did you??_

_Lizzie, just tell us what happened before this gets entirely too inappropriate!_

Alright, alright! I thought that it was just starting to get interesting, though. However, we'll sort the issue of Anne's sexual preferences out later. Anywugglies, the only reason I left Sirius yesterday was because he so wisely gave his approval of Remus and I having a "private chat." So, Remus takes me to this remote clearing...

_Oooh, private chat! About what?_

I was getting there, Bridget. Let me finish, woman! Right, well, so we had a decent row about the Train Incident and my "being all over" Sirius of late, and then we somehow ended up snogging the daylights out of each other. And it was amazing!

_Is that the whole point to your story?_

No, far from it! So, I ran off after that because I was very confused about who I maybe had feelings for. Because I thought I was on date thingy with Sirius and then there I was snogging Remus who I'd been avoiding for obvious and justifiable reasons. I resolved to avoid everyone and ended up wandering around and staying in the Room of Requirement for the night.

But you're not wearing what you wore yesterday... And I know you didn't change before our meeting began.

Well, no, I changed when everyone was at breakfast and then went to the library for, erm, stuff. Anyway, last night, I made a list of pros and cons regarding both of them, you know, to sort out my thoughts.

_Yes, and? _

Then I talked to McGonagall about it before my lessons began today and she helped me to come to a conclusion.

_Why didn't you come to us?_

Yeah! We're your "gang," remember?!

_I'm sure she has a good reason..._

Well, no offense, but Minnie's a little more level-headed than the three of you. And she had no real opinion on the matter since she's a professor and all, whereas the three of you are all torn between whether I should be with Remus or Sirius and each one of you happens to have your own opinion on the matter.

_Well, I can't argue with you on that logic. I'm impressed you managed to figure that out on your own..._

I agree with Lily!

_I third Lily's statement!_

... That kind of hurts, Lils! You have so little faith in your dear, dear friend. Anywubblies...

_Who'd you decide on?_

What do you mean?

Who are you going with after your little deliberation with McGonagall?

_Oh, yes, you must tell us, Ickle Little Lizzie-kins!_

Merlin, don't call me that! You remind me of Petunia when you do.

_That was unnecessary!_

As was your name calling, you twat!

_Tell us!!_

**5.01**

They're all screaming at me! But I can't tell if the screams are of joy or something else...

**5.02**

Oh, what am I to do with the barmy lot of mates I have?

**5.04**

This is actually quite frightening, I think I might go and, erm, fix Moaning Myrtle's toilet or something...

**5.05**

Oh yes, I'm definitely leav

_She chose Lupin! I am so madly brilliant! I knew she would! Anne, you owe me 5 galleons!_

_Soooo proud of you, Lizzie Dearest! I will dedicate the next three weeks of my life to making sure you and Remus are together forever!_

I can't believe you didn't pick Sirius! Although, I do congratulate you on your decision. Remus is an amazing bloke! And I'll give you your money later, Lils.

**5.07**

Looks as though the cat's out of the bag...

**--**

I'm so sorry that it's been such a long time since the last update! However, the sudden spurt in reviews has prompted me to get rolling on the rest of the story. It'll only be a few chapters more, as I planned when I began writing this fanfiction. Luckily this will coincide quite nicely with my leaving for the summer. I'm thinking if I should make a series, different time periods, different main characters and different love interests in the Harry Potter universe. Please, if you have any thoughts on this or ideas, be sure to write it in your review! Speaking of reviews, I would like to thank all those who've stuck with me up to this point and also welcome any new readers of Lizzie's crazy life. As always, I ask that you **please, please, pretty darn please REVIEW!!** And, also as per usual, the Harry Potter Universe belongs to J.K. Rowlings, characters and other things you do not recognize belong to me. Cheers and love, always.


	25. Seeking Mirth and Beauty in the Present

**18th of February, 7.01, Great Hall, Breakfast, Awaiting the Gang**

Well, last night certainly was interesting. The Gang has developed all these "surefire" plans that'll get Remus to want me. I doubt that though. Besides, I'd say he wants me already judging by our little snog fest this past Saturday.

**7.02**

I seriously wonder what is taking them so long to get down here to join me for breakfast!

_'Ello there, love._

Hi Sirius.

_I saw that you mentioned my name, and I just had to come over and see what you were writing about me!_

Wait, what? When did I write your... Oh. You twat! I didn't write your name! I wrote "serious."

_Exactly._

Oh dear. How would you know I was even writing your name? You were clear down at the other end of the table.

_I can't tell you my secrets!_

Ooh, I've got it! You've developed x-ray vision! That's it, isn't it?! Ha. Great.

_What's "x-ray vision"?_

... I don't know. It's some thing that muggle superheroes have or something. At least I think that's what Lily told me.

_Ah, the Lilypad!_

Right-o. So, was there any reason you came over here or are you just gracing me with your presence?

_Well, partly the gracing you bit, but I was actually wondering what happened after Remus abducted you..._

You don't know already?

_Erm, yes, I do. But I want to hear your side._

We kind of had a row and somehow ended up snogging... For a long time.

_Ah, I see. Hmmm..._

Uh-oh... You're thinking, aren't you?!

_Lizzie, my dearest and most treasured lover of all time_

Sirius, that's disgusting.

_Don't interrupt me while I'm writing! Anyway, you and I both know it was never meant to be, no matter how sweet it was while it lasted..._

... What? Are you, erm, breaking up with me? ... We weren't even together!

_I know, don't take it too harshly, though. We will always have our friendship and memories of the times we shared together._

You can't be serious.

_Oh, but I am. Besides, Elizabeth, you and Moony..._

Yeah, what about us?

_Everyone knows you two should be together. It'll only be a matter of time before he pulls that stick from his arse and asks you._

Really?

_Oh, definitely._

Well, that saves me from going through all the troublesome things the Gang had planned.

_And what did they have in mind?_

I'm not going to tell you.

Don't give me that look!

_Please?_

**7.16**

The Gang has rescued me!

**9.13, Divinations, At a Table with Bridget**

I think I'm going to kill myself... I saw it in a vision!

**9.14**

Actually, Bridget read my palm which said I would die. And now she's raising her hand to ask Professor Jevois, also known as Professor My-Arse-Sees, if it's true or not.

**9.15**

Bridget refuses to believe that I will one day die.

**9.16**

She seems to be a firm supporter of my immortality! Ahahaha.

**9.24**

This amuses me. Apparently my palm has scared away the professor and she is now having a discussion with Bridget regarding my life.

**9.26**

Le sigh. Is my death really that tragic?

**9.27**

Ah well! I must busy myself seeking mirth and beauty in the present then! At least that's what Dad always says... "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

**9.28**

My mum says that it's complete rubbish and that Dad isn't really as philosophical as he seems. Honestly, I'm a believer of the occasional philosophical moments that many Reynolds' happen to experience every now and then. That's what makes us such a wonderful clan of witches and wizards! Mum, of course, does not enjoy these little moments of deep insight since she isn't a true Reynolds. She is only one by marriage.

**9.33**

Well, Bridgey-poo doesn't look too pleased... What's the deal with my death, eh?

_I, erm... I can't tell you._

Why not? It's my death, you know. I'd tell you how you were going to die if I knew!

_I don't think you want to know. And I've been sworn to secrecy by the professor..._

Can I have a hint? Is it tragic or hysterical?

_Why do you have to be so bloody morbid, Elizabeth!?_

**9.36**

... Touchy.

**3.16, History of Magic, Sitting Next to James**

Well, History is exceptionally boring today. I think I'm starting to feel Seventh Year Burnout. And I'm not even a seventh year! Anywubblies, I've been thinking about it all day, and I kind of would like to know what's the big deal about how I die. I don't understand why I'm not allowed to know... Shouldn't I get the privilege of knowing since it _is_ the death of myself? Watch- I'll end up pushing daisies when I'm eleventy-one! And I don't think I could complain much about that, now could I? No because, hopefully, in 111 years of life, I will have accomplished all that I have ever wanted to.

**3.19**

I think I might take a quick nap now. Hopefully James'll wake me up when class is over.

**3.26**

_Miss Reynolds, for the thirteenth time this year, I must ask you not to fall asleep during my class. I know you find it quite boring, as you've told me on many occasions, but you really must make more of an effort to stay attentive. Please see me after class regarding your punishment. -Professor Binns_

**4.03**

That bloody ghost! He wants me correcting essays for the next three weeks! How is that fair in any way, shape or form?

**8.51, Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory**

So, Bridget has been summoned to the great office of Headmaster Dumble-y-dore. I wonder if she'll get a lemon drop? Right, well I'm anxiously awaiting her return while Anne and Lily are busy trying to figure out their Plan of Action for talking to Remus. I don't know how much there is to talk about with him, but we'll see. I'm sure they'll tell me whatever he says.

**9.32**

Poor Bridget. She looks quite upset and she also refuses to tell us what exactly her meeting with Dumbledore was about. Ah well.

**19th of February, 10.31, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Sitting Next to Peter**

So, I'm dreadfully bored and thinking of what other paraphernalia Pete's managed to collect from his fellow Marauders since what I last saw in his little shrine. I suppose I could ask him. You know, I've been receiving Glares of Loathing and Death from the professor all day now. I'm starting to tire of it. Perhaps that is how my death will come about? I will receive the Death Glare for too long of a period!

**10.33**

Merlin, I am morbid!

**10.37**

Alright, I'm really getting tired of the Death Glares that I'm getting from

**1st of April, 9.32, Gryffindor Common Room**

That barmy cow of a Defense teacher! He bloody abducted you, journal! Honestly! I tried to tell him I was taking notes, but then he actually started to read it and I think his eyes tripled in size when he read about the paraphernalia that I mentioned because I think he thought it was of a more inappropriate sort when it truly wasn't and, well... Yeah. I've been trying to get you back for weeks now with help from the Marauders. I'll have you know that on top of the detention I had to originally serve with Binns grading essays, I earned bounds more thanks to James and Sirius who made stupid little mistakes such as getting distracted because there was some "smokin' hot girl" waltzing down the corridor or a Slytherin had crossed our path. It was ridiculous. However, we finally managed to get you back last night and I'm sure that Professor Elvendork has read through you. Which, might I add, horrifies me to no end!

**9.39**

Anyway, there's a Quidditch game later today, Ravenclaw versus Slytherin. I wonder who I'll be cheering for? I was thinking of taking pity on the poor Snakes, but then I remembered how much I despise them. So, I'll be cheering on Ravenclaw. Again. We have a game against Ravenclaw next Saturday and I have a very good feeling that we will win. Or so James has been preaching to us, but I don't think it's getting through. He needs to switch up his motivational speeches a bit more. Less talk about tactics and more of, "We're going to beat the bloody rubbish out of that team there!" He needs more of a Yank mentality, I think. That'll get us more fired up.

**9.46**

Right, well, in other news, Remus and I are talking and such. Well, I suppose flirting is the word the Gang likes to use, but I just think it's back to how it was at the beginning of the year. And I'm not going to complain about it because that means no random snog fests or rows late at night.

**9.48**

Oh, I just want him to ask me to be his girlfriend already! He must like me, because that's all that Sirius and James say. It's also all I hear from the Gang! Lily especially!

**9.49**

I don't understand. He knows that I've settled on him and that the only interest I have in Sirius is merely platonic, but he still won't approach the subject.

**9.50**

And I most certainly am not going to bring it up. He's the bloke. He's supposed to be doing all the asking anyway. At least that's what Mum said in the letter I got from her this morning...

**9.51**

Speaking of said letter, it's apparent that Remus must've mentioned something about his interest in me to his own mother, for she told my mother about it and now our mums are conspiring. I mean, I love Mrs. Lupin. She is honestly one of the most lovely people I've ever met... But I've seen my mum and her together. And it's rather frightening how they sit there discussing matters over tea in such a proper fashion. Though I swear to Merlin, as soon as I am out of earshot they just are whispering away about Remus and me.

**9.55**

Not that there is really much to discuss, since _there isn't anything going on between us since the wanker hasn't brought it up yet_!!

**9.56**

Hm, I think I just let out some much needed anger there.

**9.58**

Right-o, moving on then. I just don't understand why he won't ask me. But Mummy Dearest says, and I quote: "All great things come with a price and the price for this, my Lizzie-Wizzie, is having to wait." And she goes on and on about how thrilled she and Mrs. Lupin are and I'm fairly certain they're already planning our wedding. Which, I must say, is quite embarrassing.

**10.00**

Almost as embarrassing as Professor Slughorn willingly singing "Fetchez la Vache: The Song" in front of the class as a way to "brighten our moods" since we were making the Draught of Death or something of the sort.

**10.01**

Thinking about it, death has been omnipresent these past few weeks. First with my palm, then the Death Glares from various teachers, Slytherins, and firsties, and the Draught of Death. Hm. Maybe it's a sign that somebody will be leaving us?

**10.02**

I hope it's Snape.

**10.03**

Ahahaha.

**10.04**

I can't help but wonder who would go to _that_ funeral!

**10.05**

_Planning Snape's funeral?_

Indeed I am, Mr. Lupin!

_Should I let Padfoot and Prongs know? They'll want to join you in whatever you have planned for him, you know._

I think I'll handle this one on my own.

_Alright. If you need any help or anything, just let me know. _

I thought you didn't think it was acceptable to abuse Snape-adoodle so?

_Have I ever actually stopped any of you from ever abusing him anyway?_

... Now that I think about it... No, you haven't! Ha!

_"Ha," what?_

You secretly have enjoyed watching him suffer all these years! He's provided you with much needed entertainment, hasn't he? I knew our noble efforts were not in vain.

_... You are so very strange, Elizabeth._

I do try.

_No, you don't. It just comes naturally to you._

Ah, you know me far too well, Mr. Lupin!

_Are you going to the Quidditch match later on?_

Yes, actually.

_Erm, did you want to go with me? You don't have to sit with me or anything, we could just walk there together..._

What's this? You want to go to a Quidditch game?

_Well, yes, with you._

Awww, that's very sweet, but I already have a date. I'm terribly sorry.

_With who!?_

Regulus, actually.

_You can't be serious._

That's Black the Elder's territory, not mine, mate.

_You're not actually going with Sirius' little brother, are you?_

Of course not! It's just fun to see your knickers in a twist.

_That's cruel._

Well, go on, ask me properly again.

_Would you like to accompany me to the Quidditch match this afternoon?_

Ooh, so proper! And, yes, I'd love to go with you since it's such rare occurrence that you actually want to go!

_Great._

**10.17**

Le sigh! Actually, make that le sigh times a million!

**10.18**

I'm going on a date-type thing with Remus!

**10.17**

Even though he never really called it a date... But it's a date in my mind.

**10.22**

... I've just realized that all the rubbish I wrote about Remus and Sirius and snogging... Erm, my guess is that all of the professors read it. It probably went around to all of them.

**10.23**

Lovely. Just lovely.

**10.24**

Although, I suppose it is my fault that it got confiscated...

**10.26**

Why am I even worrying about such things anymore, though? I have my journal back and I'm going to the Quidditch game with Remus.

**10.27**

I honestly do not think my day could get much better than this.

**10.28**

... Well, actually it could.

**10.29**

By means of Slytherin losing the match.

**--**

Well, there you have it! Chapter 25 and the return of Mr. Lupin! I hope it was up to par and that it was also enjoyable. The Harry Potter Universe belongs to J.K. Rowling, rocker of my world, as does the name "Elvendork" for any of you who recognized it from the "prequel" she wrote. And a free pair of clip-cloppers to anyone who can locate the Kung Fu Panda quote that I snuck in! Anyway, as always, **review, review, review and review!** It means a lot to me knowing that people are actually reading my story and that I'm not just writing for my own sick entertainment. Also, I've decided that once I've completed Elizabeth's story, I will start two more: a serious SiriusOC (irony!) one and a funny OliverOC. Again, thank you very much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and, since I do not say it enough, **REVIEW**!! Yours always.


	26. Broomstickly Challenged & Unable to Fly

**4.32, Returning to Gryffindor Tower, Being Lead by Remus**

Merlin! That was _the most_ amazing Quidditch match! Slytherin was absolutely crushed! How wicked is that?!

**4.34**

Well, at least I thought it was a good game. Remus expressed much indifference towards the matter because he is a Disliker of Quidditch. Le sigh. That poor bloke. The only reason he doesn't like it is because he is broomstickly challenged and unable to fly. Which is entirely his own fault, because after the broomstick whacked him in the face and then he ended up falling off of it while floating two feet above the ground back in first year, he has refused to go near a broom. I think it's ridiculous. I mean, honestly, who's ever heard of a fear of broomsticks? I can understand a fear of illness or heights or salespeople. But a _broomstick_?! Come off it.

**4.40**

However, this is Remus Lupin we're talking about... And although he appears to be a rather rational being, he is secretly a freak. Just like the rest of us Marauders. Even though I'm not a "true" Marauder, since I'm female.

**4.41**

Pfft. I'm definitely a Marauder. James is just jealous.

**4.42**

... And, yes, I do realise that my last statement doesn't really make much sense.

**4.43**

Right-o!

**4.47, Gryffindor Common Room, Lying on the Sofa**

This is quite comfortable in comparison to the stands, I must say. Mmmm...

**4.48**

Oh no. My fellow Marauders all have evil glints in their eyes... Including Remus... Excluding Pete.

**4.49**

ARG!!

**4.50**

I am being sit upon. And it's quite uncomfortable.

**4.51**

_You_ try having three teenaged blokes sitting on you. And they all happen to be squirming around, "trying to get comfortable."

**4.53**

Ha! I just called James "Wilberforce." He looks none too pleased because I used a name that he claims he created. Well, that is what you get, oh sweet cousin mine!

**4.54**

Urgh! Smelly feet! In my face!

**4.55**

I swear, if I ever get out of this position, Sirius' arse is going to be knocked into next week and back.

**4.57**

According to James, I am the Wilberforce, not him. But I kindly pointed out to him that Wilberforce is not a unisex name-calling name. And then I proceeded to call him Elvendork.

**4.59**

That boy will never learn. Tsk, tsk.

**5.00**

I wonder if Jamesie-poo realises that Wilberforce is somebody's last name... I think.

**5.03**

Yeah, I just asked Remus. The bloke's name was William Wilberforce. So, really, calling a male a "Wilberforce" isn't much of an insult anyway...

**5.05**

I cannot begin to express how happy I am that Remus is sitting on my legs rather than where James and Sirius are occupying. That'd be far more awkward...

**5.07**

Ah! The Gang! They will rescue me, surely!

**5.13**

I'm free!

**5.14**

... To do what I want, any old time.

**5.15**

Ahaha.

**5.54, En Route to the Great Hall for Dinner**

Oh, I am so hungry right now. I could eat Lily, I think.

**5.55**

And I don't generally have cannibalistic tendencies either!

**5.56**

Well, this is exciting... Ha! Bridget just got her foot stuck in that trap stair step!

**5.57**

Cheerio, Bridget!

**5.59, Standing at the Bottom of the Staircase with Anne**

Lily decided she had to rescue Bridget and that Anne and I must wait for the two of them. Hey, want to keep going?

_Sounds great. I'm starving anyway._

**6.02, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, Dinner**

Anne and I decided that our stomachs are far more valuable to us than our dear friend Bridget. You'd think that after six years the girl would learn, though. She always gets stuck in it at least twice a year. She claims it sneaks up on her, but we all know that stair steps can't sneak up on people. Their immobile! Besides, it's fact that Bridget is a bit of an airhead sometimes...

**6.27**

Look who's finally joining us! I wonder what took Lils so long to get Bridget un-stuck.

**6.29**

Well, Lily is upset with both Anne and I. On the contrary however, she would've done the same thing (leaving and going to dinner, that is) if either Anne or I got stuck. But she refuses to accept this.

**6.30**

Oh, Lily. I'll just have to go get James as an act of revenge!

**6.43**

Ahahaha! James is serenading her!

**6.44**

That's embarrassing... For both of them!

**6.45**

And I suppose it doesn't hurt that Anne temporarily bewitched Lily so that she is forced to enjoy this little act.

**6.46**

I'm so going to be killed after this. Although I only bewitched James. Lily's bewitchment is fully Anne's doing.

**6.47**

This is amazing. I congratulate myself on a job well done!

_Indeed! They'll never forgive us, though._

You think?

_Yeah._

I was thinking they'd be sending us thank you notes for the rest of our lives!

_You poor soul._

Look who's talking! I only have to put up with James. Lily's going to snap your wand in half or something!

_And what's James going to do to you? Torture you for the next week at Quidditch practice?_

Probably. But that won't be too bad. I'm a big girl. You, however, would be quite handicapped without your wand.

_If she snaps mine, I'm stealing yours._

No you aren't!

_Oh, please. You could just write your mum to buy you a new one. It's not like you're going to die._

You could likewise write your mum!

_My mum would go ballistic if she found out my wand was broken._

Ah, but therein lies the beauty of hypothetical situations, mate!

_You're a barmy cow, Lizzie. I swear..._

You swear! That's inappropriate and offensive. Take it back!

_... I didn't even swear!_

You said "I swear!"

_Don't be ridiculous!_

Oh, Anne, you know I am only teasing you. It gives me joy to see you upset!

_You are a sick, sick little witch._

Indeed I am!

_How much longer do you think this'll last?_

What? Lily and James or this conversation?

_The former._

Don't know.

_Let's enjoy it while we can!_

**6.58**

Even the professors are amused... Especially Dumble-y-dore. That man... He is just so happy!

**7.16, Library with Remus, Hiding**

So, the spells wore off but not before Anne and I got away to hide so we wouldn't be maimed right away. Remus has joined me, though, so I at least have some company.

_Don't make it seem as though I willingly joined you._

But you did!

_No I didn't! You grabbed me by the collar of my shirt as you were leaving! And then you practically dragged me here!_

Remus, you and I both know that I am not strong enough to lug around a 90 kilogramme male.

_I do not weigh that much!_

Touchy, Remus!

_I don't weigh that much._

I don't really care.

_Well, I think you should know._

Don't be such a girl, Remus.

_Elizabeth, what am I going to do with you?_

I don't know... You tell me!

_... You really need to cease spending time with Sirius. He's corrupting you._

What ever do you mean?

_Perverted comments like that!_

You know you like it.

_You're a silly little girl._

That was uncalled for. I can't help it I'm slightly vertically challenged. At least I don't have a broomstick phobia.

_What does that have anything to do with... well, anything?!_

It has everything to do with everything.

_Are you mocking me?_

No. I'm just stating that you are afraid of flying.

_It's not that I'm afraid of flying. I just have a preference for the ground._

Oh, come off it. That broomstick back in first year totally kicked your arse.

_What?_

The one that hit you in the face.

_That was an accident! And how do you even remember that? I'd nearly forgotten all about it..._

I only remember it because it brought me such joy and delight!

_Is that so?_

Indeed!

_Are you sure it wasn't for some other reason?_

What do you mean?

_Well, it __was__ a memory of me..._

Are you suggesting something in a not-so-subtle fashion that I am still unable to understand?

_Perhaps._

... If I didn't know any better, Mr. Lupin, I'd say you were flirting with me.

_Really? And what would give you that impression?_

... I don't know. I just kind of said it to see if you'd agree to it or not. So maybe you aren't flirting with me. But, then again, you are a male...

_And what is that supposed to mean?_

It means that you're daft. Like every other male on the planet.

_I'm not sure if I'm insulted by that or not._

Okay. Ooh, ooh! Guess what!

_What?_

I kind of morphed!

_... You what?_

For my animagus lesson! The one that I had on Thursday, you know? When I came back to the Common Room completely exhausted?

_Yeah. You collapsed on top of Sirius and fell asleep immediately._

Do I sense jealousy?

_No. Just continue._

Right, well, I was so exhausted that I completely forgot to tell you that I'd managed to morph sort of. I mean, Minnie had to change me back, but I got part of the way there!

_That's excellent, Elizabeth! Would you mind me asking what your animagus form is?_

That's the best part!

_And?_

I'm an arctic fox! Which means I'm abso-bloody-lutely adorable!

_An arctic fox, you say?_

Yeah, here, give me a moment. I'll get the book so you can see the picture... One moment please!

_Alright._

**7.47, Browsing the Aisles**

I brought you with me for fear that Remus would be tempted to read through some recent entries. Which I certainly do not want because then he might see my strange comments regarding my wanting to be his girlfriend... Right.

**7.48**

Where is that bloody book?

**7.53**

I have returned!

_I see that. So, let's see this arctic fox._

_... That is really cute._

Ahaha! I told you it was! Would I lie to you about something like this?

_I don't know. You might..._

But I didn't, so it matters not!

_Hmm._

What?

_I'm just reading the statistics. _

... Why?

_Just because. You can never know too much about arctic foxes, you know._

... Right.

**7.58**

He is completely wrapped up in that book now. Stupid bloke. Why can't he be normal and have an affinity for girls, bosoms and nether bits and whatever else males have interest in?

**7.59**

Oh, he is so adorable when he's reading like that...

**--**

Hmm, well there's chapter 26! J.K. Rowling owns the Wonderful World of Harry Potter, and that which you do not recognize from there is mine. Totally CRAZY and Hyper discovered the Kung Fu Panda quote, and thus receives a virtual pair of clip-cloppers. And another pair will go to whoever finds the Rolling Stones song snippet... Also, if you're wondering why I chose arctic fox as Lizzie's animagus form, there is a simple answer: it is a relative of the wolf. As always, **review, review, REVIEW!**__I'm glad that people have been enjoying the past few chapters and I hope this one was as good as the others. Right, well, I'd say we are nearing the end, sadly, but that is all I can say. No matter how much you try, I will not give away any hints to the ending of Elizabeth's story! Be on the lookout for another update or two tomorrow! Yours always.


	27. That Deserves a Chortle

**8.00**

... Scratch that, he's not so adorable now that he's making a face at the page. What did that page ever do to him? Nothing, I tell you!

**8.01**

Remus, you're a barmy cow.

_That's kind of you, Elizabeth. I may just have to tell your mother about the language you use._

WHAT?!

_I'm joking. You're mum wouldn't know what a "barmy cow" is anyway._

... And I'd like to keep it that way, thanks.

_So, you're really an Arctic Fox, yeah?_

Mmhmm. No, I'm going to lie about my animagus form so when you see a little rat in your dorm, you will just assume the Slytherins returned Pete to his true form.

_Hey, you never know with you._

Why are you convinced I'm a liar?!

_Oh, I don't know..._

... Was that sarcasm? I couldn't tell.

_Lizzie, sometimes I think you're touched._

I'm touched? Look at you, Mr. I-Turn-Into-A-Wolf-On-Full-Moons.

Okay, you aren't amused. I was only joking, Remus. You know I love you, werewolf and all.

_... What in the bloody hell is that?_

'What in the bloody hell is' what?

_That._

Oh. That's supposed to be a heart.

_That's not a heart._

Yes, it is.

_No, it really isn't. __This__ is a heart._

Why must you mock my lack of artistic ability!

_Because it's immensely amusing._

That's not very nice.

_I know. _

Then why do it?

_I live to distress you, Lizzie. You know that._

No, I don't! But I guess I do now...

_Ha._

'Ha', what?!

_Nothing, nothing._

Sometimes you're more cruel to me than Sirius. And that truly is saying something.

_Yes, because snogging you is the most cruel thing in the world, Elizabeth. Really._

Alright, well, that part was nice...

_Spare me the details, please and thank you._

Fine then. You don't even know.

_On the contrary, I heard enough from Sirius about it to get me through several lifetimes._

Are you secretly a vampire too?!

_What?!_

You just said all of his information about Elizabeth-Sirius Happenings would last you several lifetimes! Meaning, you must be immortal. How old are you really!?

_What? Elizabeth, I'm not immortal! I'm going to die someday!_

Yes, 'someday'.

_Hopefully peacefully in my sleep._

I hope I have a gruesome death that looks like Jack the Ripper arose from the dead and is on another rampage!

_... Seriously?_

Ha. No. But it'd be kind of cool, you know? Then I'd know who Jack the Ripper really is!

_You're very morbid, I hope you know._

Yes, I know. There are a lot of things I know.

_Such as?_

That I can't tell you. If I did, I'd have to kill you. And I would rather not have to do that, Moony.

_Oh, I'm sure you'd enjoy it._

What do you take me for? You fool!

_A crazed, hormonal teenage girl._

**8.23, En Route to the Common Room**

I left Remus because he was being disagreeable. Obviously. He's supposed to fancy me... Why does he have to be so bloody mean to me?

**8.24**

Well, I suppose he wasn't really mean... He was just teasing.

**8.25**

... I think.

**8.26**

Why won't he just ask me to be his girlfriend!!!!!!????????????????????

**8.27**

Ridiculous.

**8.34**

... Where am I?

**8.36, Sitting on a Step**

Le sigh. I suppose I'm lost. Again. As per usual. Why am I so directionally challenged?

**8.39**

Ah, someone has come to rescue me! And my hero is....

**8.40**

SIRIUS!

**8.42, Being Carried to the Tower**

So, I'm incapable of walking, as it were. But that is fine and dandy with me. If Sirius wants to waste his time exerting energy for the well-being of his feminine counterpart, that's a point for Siri-poo up in Heaven with the Big Man. I think.

**8.50, Gryffindor Common Room**

Methinks Remus is looking a tad bit jealous and such. Ha. Serves him right.

**8.53, Girls' Dormitory**

Honestly, if he wants to carry me around since I'm a weak and fragile female, he should just ask me to be his girlfriend already. Am I right? Of course I am! Sirius can carry me around because he was an ex who is still on good grounds. Because he's incredibly charming and extremely attractive and such. It's difficult not to let Hogwarts' Resident Sex God do as he pleases, alright? It's difficult to explain, little journal myne.

**8.54**

Remus could be just as grand as Sirius if he only tried. I mean, aside from the poking fun at me bit. He's got that down pat. But he could try the snogging thing, or the carrying around thing... Or other such things.

**8.55**

Sirius ought to open a school so that he might teach the males of the world how to treat a female. Even though he's not the best at it, seeing as he can be a real prat sometimes.

**9.02**

Uh-oh... Sounds like Lilypad is on the war path. I can hear Anne squealing in... Actually, Anne's having a fit of hysterical laughter. I'm going to go check it out!

**9.06, Creeping Down the Stairwell**

...

**9.07**

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

**9.08**

Well, Lily is thoroughly upset, Anne & I are having a laugh riot, Bridget is torn between comforting Lily, keeping James at bay, and holding back her laughter.

**9.09**

Oh, this is almost perfect in every which-way. In fact, this is quite possibly veletision worthy!

**9.11**

I mean, erm.... Tevelision?

**9.12**

Levetision?

**9.13**

No, television.

**9.14**

... Yes, that's it.

**9.15**

Oh, James is trying to make amends, but Lily will hear none of it. He claims he hasn't the foggiest as to what came over him during dinner. Ahahahaha.

**9.16**

What a fool!

**9.27, Sitting in the Best Armchair in the World**

Well, we're all very much relaxed. Well, Lily is most likely crying herself to sleep right now, but, aside from Dearest Lilsie-poo, we're all sitting about chit-chatting in a very friendly and mature-ish manner. Yes. I can see this being a regular occurrence once we've all graduated and such.

**9.28**

Remus is sitting on the arm of the armchair. Ironic, right? Arm... of the _armchair_. That deserves a chortle.

**9.29**

Ahahaha, it'll probably snap off from his weight. And then it'll just be an armed-chair. Get it? Because it'll only have one arm...

**9.30**

_That was really un-funny_.

That was really unintelligent. What kind of word is "un-funny"?

_I've heard you use it on countless occasions, actually._

Are you ever going to stop teasing me?

_Eventually._

Why?

_'Why' what?_

Le sigh... You wouldn't understand.

_I bet that I would._

No, you wouldn't, because you're a thick-headed male who is totally oblivious to everything. You make me sad sometimes.

_I'm sorry?_

You should be.

**9.48, Curled Up in Bed**

Why won't he just admit his undying love and affection for me?!

**--------------------------------------**

Sorry it's been so long since the last update! Hopefully this will make people happy... As usual, J.K. Rowling owns the wonderful world of Harry Potter, and that which you don't recognize from the series is most likely my own creation. Also, as per usual, I'm extending my sincerest wishes for reviews! **I love reviews**; so spread so holiday cheer and review. It will make me a very happy writer. I hope everyone has a great holiday, and I promise to finish this story before winter break is over!


	28. A Written Confession Will Suffice

**2nd of April, 10.23, Girls Dormitory, Bed**

Nothing spectacular happened today. I spent most of the afternoon with Remus, working on our essays for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'm glad I finished the essay today, though. If I hadn't, I'd be worrying about it Wednesday night, and probably not getting anything done due to my lack of anxiety-coping skills. But spending time with Remus was definitely a treat. Unlike yesterday, he was actually being very kind and genuine. Perhaps he was being so disagreeable yesterday because it was April Fools' Day. Yes, that slipped my mind. But, as any gentleman should know, that is no excuse to treat a girl in such a way! His mother would be very ashamed!

**10.27**

Not that I would tell his mother...

**10.28**

That would be... awkward.

**10.29**

And would possibly cause some trouble amoungst the parentals...

**10.30**

I don't want trouble with my adopted in-laws.

**10.31**

Oh, I didn't tell you? Yes, my mother sent me another wonderfully long, wretched letter about how perfect Remus and I are for each other. And how excited she and Mrs. Lupin are. Apparently, they really are planning the wedding, as my mum asked me how much she should be setting aside for it.

**10.32**

Am I the only one who finds this a little off-putting?

**10.33**

Are mothers always so overbearing and, well, COMPLETELY BARMY?!

**10.34**

...

**10.35**

Right, well... If you couldn't already tell, dearest journal, I can't sleep. I've been trying so hard! Lily, Anne, Bridget and I decided that we would all tuck in early for the night to, you know, catch up on beauty sleep and such so we look superbly spiffy for tomorrow morning, but my brain won't be quiet. Too many thoughts for one little girl to handle!

**10.37**

What am I to do? I tried a sleeping spell... That didn't work (obviously). It just made my nose a little itchy. And, here I am, writing as usual.

**10.38**

It really isn't very healthy for me to be writing in here so much. I don't think this is what my mother intended when she first shoved this into my hands as I hopped onto the Express. But I don't think I can stop.

**10.39**

Journal, you are my life now.

**10.40**

Don't give me that look, journal.

**10.41**

I'm being completely honest! You _are_ my life now. Wholly my life!

**10.43**

To be honest, I think you're replacing something that I'm missing in my life...

**10.44**

And that something would be the ever elusive relationship with Remus.

**10.45**

I simply do not understand! Am I intimidating, or something?

**10.46**

I understand that I'm a complete barmy cow-muffin.

**10.47**

But Sirius and James are constantly telling me how much Remus adores me!

**10.48**

When Remus isn't in the vicinity, of course. Don't want to embarrass the bloke.

**11.16**

This whole not-being-able-to-get-to-sleep thing is really starting to get on my nerves!

**11.17**

That's it! I'm going down to the Common Room and curling up in front of the hearth.

**11.36, Curled into a Ball **

Well, I'm starting to feel a bit drowsy...

**11.37**

Drowsy-ish.

**11.40**

Hark! There is bustling coming from the Boys' Dormitory stairs....

**11.41**

How curious... No one is coming out from the shadows...

**11.42 **

I'm probably just imagining things again...

**11.43**

Oh! It's Remus. I wonder why he's up?

**11.45**

Sooooooooo...

**11.46**

Well, Remus is just kind of sitting next to me... And, erm...

**11.47**

... Yeah.

**11.49**

So, why are you up, Mr. Lupin?

_I could easily ask you the same question, Miss Reynolds._

Well, if you must know, I couldn't sleep.

_Me neither._

What's been keeping you from sleep?

_Well..._

... Yes?

_Why can't you sleep? I thought you girls had this grand scheme to pull off the greatest beauty rest heist Hogwarts has ever seen._

That was the plan... Until I kept tossing and turning.

_Why?_

My brain wouldn't shut up.

_Your brain wouldn't shut up..._

Don't give me that tone.

_I wasn't giving you a tone, Elizabeth. I was just... Trying to figure out what you meant._

Do you become slower at night or something? Incapable of comprehension?

_No, I just have other things preoccupying my thoughts._

Such as?

_Well..._

That is the second time you wrote, and I, erm... copy: "Well..."

_I don't really know how to explain it. Give me some time to think it over, and I'll tell you a little later once I figure out how to phrase what I'm thinking._

Oh, alright. Do you want me to distract you?

_... Erm..._

I mean, ah, well... Ramble on aimlessly whilst you write one-worded answers after half-heartedly reading what I wrote.

_Sure._

Well, I've come to the realization that I'm far too dependent on this journal here.

_Is that so? What's brought about this revelation?_

Firstly, Mr. Lupin, you're only supposed to be responding with one word. Meaning you went over your word limit by seven words. Secondly: Oh, I don't know. The fact that I don't have too many pages left in this bloody thing was one clue.

_Yes._

Other than that, I just figure I write in here so much because I'm compensating for something.

_Oh?_

Mmhmm.

_... Are you going to say what exactly it is that you might be 'compensating' for?_

Well, ... No.

_Alright._

What if I just want to remember sixth year? I mean... This is an excellent way of documenting my youth for later years, right?

_If you say so._

I do say so. I mean, who knows? Years down the road when I'm old and barmy like my mum, with crazy children who I simply cannot understand, I could pull this baby out and try to understand the teenage mind.

_Good plan._

Remus...

_Yeah?_

What's bothering you?

_Nothing._

Pfft. That's a joke. Please tell me. You know I'm not going to judge you, or tell anyone else, et cetera. I never would, and you know that.

_I know, Elizabeth._

Won't you please let me in? Maybe I can help?

_This might take me some time._

Well, I honestly doubt I'm going to pull a Rip Van Winkle, so you have plenty of time.

_Would you mind if I, erm, borrowed your journal for a little bit then?_

No, not at all. ... So long as you don't steal it, of course.

_Wouldn't dream of it._

Then, yes, that's completely fine.

----------------------------------------------

_Dear Elizabeth,_

_I'm still not entirely sure how to best put this in words. If I start to ramble, you really must forgive me. You see, there is one very simple reason why I haven't been able to fall asleep tonight, and perhaps now that I'm going to say, well, write I suppose, what that reason is, I'll be able to sleep. _

_The reason I can't fall asleep is you. No, you aren't plaguing me with nightmares. Quite the contrary, really. No matter what I do, it's entirely impossible for me to put you from my mind. No matter how silly you are, or how much you upset me, I simply can't stop thinking about you, Elizabeth. I've tried for the longest time to ignore it, seeing as we're neighbors, and we've known each other for longer than I've known any of my other mates. And then there's always the issue of what our mothers might do if anything __were__ to happen between us..._

_Anyway, lately I've found that I can't ignore my feelings for you. I can't suppress them any longer. Elizabeth, no matter how ridiculously clueless you might be sometimes, no matter how many delightfully foolish things you might say, no matter your emotional and mental attachment to this journal... I suppose I should be more of a man and actually say the words aloud to you, but I don't think I have enough courage to do so._

_In any case, I do hope a written confession will suffice:_

_Elizabeth, no matter what happens after you read this, I just want you... No, I __desperately__ need you to know that I love you. And, I swear to you, I always will. Merlin help me, I will love you no matter what happens between us._

_I hope you manage to get in some sleep tonight. I don't want to have to be part of some extravagant Operation: Keep Lizzie Awake._

_Good night._

_Yours,_

_R. Lupin_

----------------------------------------------

**3rd of April, 12.30, Still Sitting Before the Fire**

Remus has long since left, and I've just finished reading his letter.

**12.31**

I... I simply cannot think of the words to say.

**12.32**

I need to talk to Remus. Right now.

**12.34, At the Sixth Year Boys' Dormitory (A.K.A. Marauder Country) Door**

You know, journal, maybe this wasn't such a good idea... I mean, what if they're all asleep? And I wake them up? ... Or what if one of them wakes up and tackles me, thinking I'm an evil Slytherin aiming to sabotage them? ... Or what if I go to the wrong bed and I accidentally wake up Sirius, or, even worse, Pete?

**12.35**

Yes, I know. I'm being ridiculous. I've been in their dormitory a thousand times this year. I know where Remus' bed is. They all sleep like logs, or so they boast. I'm just making up excuses.

**12.36**

Elizabeth Reynolds, get a hold of yourself! Just go in there, march up to Lupin's bed, poke him if he isn't awake, and tell him you feel the exact same!

**12.37**

Now or never, Elizabeth... Now or never.

**12.38**

I'm going in. And everything is going to be fine... I hope.

**--------------------------------------**

Well, well, well! Wasn't that an exciting chapter? As usual, the ever-brilliant Jo Rowling owns the world of Harry Potter. That which you don't recognize from her amazing series is mostly likely my own creation. I will use whatever movie or book quote [you!] pick for the person who can first pick out the _Twilight_ quote and mention it in their **super wonderful review!!!** Yes, kind readers, that is my subtle hint to you that I greatly appreciate your reviews. I hope everyone is having a nice holiday, and I'll update again soon! Yours always.


	29. A Bit Pink in the Cheeks

I slowly, and rather hesitantly, manage to shut the door quietly before turning around, letting my eyes adjust to the light. Blimey, it's dark in here. ... Well, except for the light that's coming from someone's, well, _Remus' _, wand from behind the curtains of his bed.

I don't know why, but I have this abso-bloody-lutely wretched feeling that's eating away at my core. Oh, for Merlin's sake, Lizzie- get a hold of yourself! He wrote you a note confessing his undying love for you in _your_ journal! There isn't anything to be afraid of.

... Right?

Crossing the room, I pull back the curtains and am met by the sight of a somewhat upset looking Remus. I look over my shoulder quickly, having heard a movement, but I suppose it was just one of the blokes rolling over, and then I, rather ungracefully, climb up onto Remus' bed and yank the curtains closed. I sit cross-legged opposite him and stare back at him.

Honestly, he couldn't be anymore handsome than he is now. But I might just be a little biased...

"Elizabeth," he says in a hushed tone, giving me a look that clearly says that I shouldn't be in their dormitory at this ungodly hour.

"Remus, I-," I don't finish, though, as there's mumbling. I poke my head out from behind the curtains to find Sirius halfway off of his bed, his body falling out from behind his curtains. Yep, he's most definitely asleep. I turn my attention back to Remus.

"Remus, I needed to tell you..."

"Do we really have to discuss this tonight?"

Is it just my poor vision, or is Remus turning a bit pink in the cheeks?

"Yes, we do. Anyway, as I was _trying_ to tell you..." I take a deep breath and look to my lap, wringing my hands.

"Remus, I... I love you, too."

After a time, I hear Remus exhale. I still can't bring myself to look up from my lap. Why am I so nervous? Never, in all the years I've known Remus, have I been nervous or apprehensive around him. What has come over me?

"I don't want to hear that you feel that way," Remus breathes. At that, I can't help but look up into his eyes. What the bloody hell was he going on about? He didn't want to hear that I felt the same? That I loved him, despite the fact that he was _dangerous_? ... What is wrong with this boy?

As if reading my thoughts, he continues. "It's wrong, it's not safe. I'm dangerous, Elizabeth, please understand that."

"Do you really think that matters to me? Remus, I just told you I feel the same, and you're telling me _not_ to? Why are you being like this? Why should I adjust how I feel just because you have a 'furry little problem'?!" I hiss.

I'm shocked at my own words. But, to be completely honest about the whole thing, this certainly was not what I had expected. If things had played out like they had in my head, we'd be milking the snogging cow for all it was worth _again_. But, no. Remus has to be difficult.

He's such a wanker, a complete twat. He's full of rubbish, he's barking mad, and all that lot.

"Lizzie," he starts. I fix my most Slytherin-esque Glare of Death on him. Though I doubt it was nearly as menacing as it could've been, given the poor lighting being emitted from Remus' wand.

"What?" I have a right to be upset, don't I?

"I can't promise you anything that you deserve... You know that."

"What do I deserve then, O Wise One?"

"You deserve," he pauses thoughtfully before continuing. "You deserve to be incandescently happy."

I sigh, leaning in closer. I study, _really_ study, his eyes. For a moment, I'm completely caught off guard. I don't know why, but, as aforementioned, he truly is incredibly handsome. Even as exhausted and disheveled as he looks now.

"Remus, I am incandescently happy. _You_ make me incandescently happy!"

I'm not sure why, but Remus looks incredibly baffled. "What?"

"_You_ make _me_ incandescently happy," I repeat.

He doesn't say anything. Shocker. "Remus, I mean it. I do love you, and you make me happy. You go along with my silly, ludicrous ideas... You... You help me with essays, and projects, and other pointless things the professors assign us to do. You... Erm," I struggle to think of the many other things he does for me.

"For Merlin's sake, Remus, you started coming to _Quidditch_ games for me. Do you have an idea how happy that made me? You set aside your dislike of a stupid sport for _me_! What more could I possibly want, or expect? What more could I possibly deserve?!"

Remus' lips are suddenly pressing against mine, and I find myself eagerly responding by climbing into his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. Maybe one of my hands found their way into his sandy hair, _maybe_.

Some time later, we lay in his bed, my head resting against his shoulder.

"Remus?"

"Mmmm?"

"So... Does this mean...? ... Are we...?"

"If you want, then yes."

I smile, tightening my hold around his waist and burying my face against his neck. "Nothing would make me happier."

----------------------------------------------

**7.01, Great Hall, Gryffindor Table, With the Marauders, Next to Remus**

Well, journal dearest, you aren't going to believe it. I, Elizabeth Reynolds, officially have a boyfriend. A _real_ boyfriend. Bet you want to know who that boyfriend is? Of course you do! That boyfriend is none other than the most wonderful Mr. Remus Lupin. Who is currently sitting next to me, shoveling porridge into his mouth as if he's never eaten anything in his life.

**7.03**

The most brilliant part of this whole thing is the fact that neither James, nor Sirius, nor Petesy-Wheatsy have a clue.

**7.04**

You know, I really am full of incandescence and fluffiness. Remus makes me happy. This whole time I think I've just been wandering around, bloody clueless to the world around me, but this changes everything.

**7.05**

I'd write my mum... But that'd probably turn out hellish. For me. And Remus.

**7.07**

Oh, bugger, James is giving me a strange look.

**7.08**

He wants me to give him my clip-cloppers. Pfft. Apparently he needs them right this very moment. And I'm being required to follow him back up to Gryffindor Tower...

**7.12, En Route to Gryffindor Tower, Following James**

Tweedle dee. Why are we stopping?

_What's going on between you and Moony?_

... What?

_You heard me._

Actually, I read you.

_Whatever the bloody hell you did, I don't care. What's going on between you and Remus?_

Erm, nothing?

_That's a crap excuse, Elizabeth._

So?

_If you don't tell me, I'll destroy your clip-cloppers. I swear it._

Gasp! You wouldn't dare.

_I would._

... Fine, then. Remus and I are together now.

_Hahahaha. I knew it._

What? How could you know?

_Well, firstly, Remus was incredibly chipper this morning. Secondly, he kept making eyes at you back there._

He was?

_You didn't notice? Ah, at least you're still the same oblivious Lizzie that I treasure and love._

... James, ew.

_I'm not allowed to love my cousin?_

No.

_Don't make me smother you with affection._

**7.29, En Route to As-Far-Away-From-Jamiepoo-As-Possible**

Basically, James is a wanker. Oh well, I'm still happy. And my clip-cloppers are safe. Honestly, I can't believe it's finally happened. After all this time...

**7.42, En Route to Double Potions with Remus**

Well, Remus is truly amazing. He's be chivalrous and whatnot, making sure I get to class safe and sound.

**7.43**

Nothing could ruin this for me. And, I must say, I think this might just warrant a round of "Fetchez La Vache: The Song."

**7.45**

Perhaps Slughorn will delight us with a performance of it today in class.

**7.46**

I can't almost guarantee he will.

**7.47, Potions, Sitting Next to Remus**

Because I'll force him to, since I'm basically unstoppable in the mood I'm currently in.

**--------------------------------------**

Well, there you have it. Our favorite pair is finally together. I hope you all liked this chapter, seeing as I rewrote it about ten times before settling on this version. As always, the wonderful Jo Rowling created the fabulous realm of Harry Potter-ness. Special shout-out to _twilight's-red-moon_, who supplied the _Twilight_ quote in this chapter. Whoever can find it gets a cookie, and another cookie to the person who spots the _Pride and Prejudice_ movie quote. As always, **review, review, review!!!!** I'll try to update again soon. Yours.


	30. Great Arse Muscles

**8th of April, 8.39 in the Evening, Lounging in the Common Room**

Well, things have been going quite swimmingly the past few days. Spending time with Remus and whatnot- it's quite refreshing! All my classes are much more bearable and the professors seem to be in a more chipper mood. Especially Slughorn. He seems to struggle to keep from singing whenever I'm in his presence!

**8.42**

Well, clearly he sings because I maybe force him to. But, nonetheless, it's wonderful and makes me a very happy little witch.

**8.44**

Remus looks vair, vair serious working on his DADA essay.

**8.45**

But an attractive serious!

**8.46**

_Did I see my name?!_

Arg, Sirius! Why must you sabotage my lounging time? You're wasting precious space. My journal has only a few pages left, you fool!

_Well, that isn't my problem. Perhaps you shouldn't waste paper discussing old flames, yeah?_

I wasn't! I didn't even write your name!

_I do believe you did, dearest Lizzie._

... Stop with the kissy faces, Sirius. Save it for le fan club du Sirius.

_Oh, my fan club is French? Why am I wasting my time on a barmy Brit like you then?_

**8.53**

Good riddance! Well, now that Sirius is gone, I can continue writing. Sadly, as aforementioned, there isn't much space left in here, dear journal, though I'm sure you knew that. As it were, there is even less space now that Sirius has written so obnoxiously large.

_Ah, you thought I was gone!_

SIRIUS.

_I love when you cry out my name, even if it's via written methods._

GO. AWAY.

_Fine, fine. I'll go bother Moony._

**8.58**

That boy is incredibly frustrating, I must say. Poor Remus will never get his essay done! You see, he banished me from the table he's working at because I'm a distraction. Well, fine then, dearest boyfriend, be that way! I think _he's_ the distraction. He's kept me from you! But it would seem I really need to be careful about how I'm using my pages. I've only got three left, now that I've counted.

**9.00**

Oh, did I mention I've gotten better at maths over the past few days?

**9.01**

Ha.

**9.02**

...

**9.03**

This is so _boring_!

**9.04**

I think it's time for an adventure. With the clip-cloppers, of course!

**9.07, En Route to Merlin Knows Where**

Toodaloo, Gryffindor Common Room! It's time for some hearty wandering about the castle!

**9.24, Hiding behind a Statue**

It would seem Mrs Norris is on patrol. That bloody cow of a cat! She needs a Mr Norris. Do you suppose she once had one? Did he run away? Was he killed?

**9.25**

Bugger, what if "Mr Norris" is really Filch!?

**9.26**

Ohhh, my mind's imagination has gone awry! Stop, bloody brain, just stop! I don't want to picture a romantic and intimate evening between Filch and his cat!

**9.27**

Kitty is gone. And I'm once again off to clip-clop and wreak havoc!

**10.02, Back in the Common Room**

Well, I've made a triumphant and successful return to the coziness that is the common room. Remus is finishing up his essay. Apparently he managed to get a lot of work done once he sent Sirius off to run an errand for him or something. I don't know. It's that or he bribed him. Right, well... Ah, so, aside from my almost-run in with Mrs Norris, I managed to sneak up on some unsuspecting Hufflepuff third years who were snogging in an alcove on the third floor corridor _and_ I gang-pressed some first year, possibly a Slytherin giving his jitteriness around me, into clip-clopping for me. I felt quite noble tarrying along behind him. As a side note, I also decided that I won't be writing as much. I have a boyfriend now, dear journal, so you must understand! Also, I need to wean myself from writing so much, otherwise I'm going to go absolutely barmy over the summer, I swear. But, really, it's mostly due to the fact that I'm running out of pages. Just today I've used up a page and a half! So, it's either write less or change how my handwriting (unlikely). ... I've got to go, the girls would like to have a talk about Merlin knows what.

**23rd of April, 11.27, Under a Tree**

It's a very loverly Sunday afternoon and I'm taking a break from studying with Remus. I deserve to relax. Why? Because James is back to his Quidditch Nazi ways! Why, oh why, cruel world? We have our final match in a month against Ravenclaw, and James is bent on winning the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor. As wonderful as that would be, I just don't see it happening this year. We had some fresh meat on the team, and they are just now getting into the way of things. It's been a wee bit frustrating the past week because all the new blokes do, Geoffrey and Duke, is complain about this and that. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were girls!

**11.38**

Sorry, I got distracted by a bird. Silly of me, I know. Speaking of things in the sky, I never got an answer about possums having strong gluteal muscles...

**11.40**

Oi, Remus.

_Yes?_

Remember that one time I was in the tree and you came up? Before I broke my arm, yeah?

_Erm... Yeah, I guess. Why?_

Well, I'm still wondering, do possums have great arse muscles or what?

**11.45**

He's laughing at me!

**11.46**

This is making me quite cross. It's a completely legitimate question!

**11.47**

Remus!

_Hmm?_

Are you finally over your fit of hysterics?

_Barely._

Will you just answer my question? Please?

_Lizzie, I honestly haven't a clue how developed possums', er, "arse muscles" are. _

Why did you laugh at me?

_Because the way you phrased the questions was humourous. It was delightful._

Sigh. Fine.

_I love you, Elizabeth._

Love you too. Though that won't make me forgive you for making fun of me!

_I know. So, you don't have many more pages left, do you?_

No, I don't. Stop making me feel worse.

_I'm sorry._

It's alright.

_Two pages. Would you like me to start writing bigger, like Sirius?_

Ah! No! Don't do that!

_Haha, sorry. I couldn't help it._

Sometimes I think you live to torture me.

_Clearly!_

**11.59**

Well, Remus and I are going to get lunch in the Great Hall. I'm onto my second to last page. This is terribly sad. Le sigh.

**1st of May, 2.33, Divination, Across from Bridget**

Thought I'd give you a quick update whilst Professor Jevois is lecturing about death predictions. Right, well, I've been clip-clopping and singing "Fetchez la Vache" like there's no tomorrow as part of my full Marauder initiation. Finally. Except this clip-clopping involves me clip-clopping while James, Sirius, Remus and Pete tag along behind me looking quite kingly and noble. As though they all need ego-boosting. Pfft! It's a bit ridiculous, but sometimes it's a relief to hear James cry, "Tally ho, young Lizzie!" instead of, "Lizzie, you cow, where in Merlin's name did you learn to fly?!" So, all in all, things seem to be improving. It's not quite down to "crunch time," as James has been calling it, but we're getting there. Personally, I think we should just stop practicing every other night and see how well we can do just kicking off on game day. ... Or not. Now that I consider it, I don't think winging it would be the best tactic. Oh well. Hmm, Remus and I snogged last night for at least an hour. Not straight, but with breathing breaks every now and then. But the snogging cow is definitely being milked, no doubts about that.

**2.41**

Professor Jevois just asked me a question. I didn't know the answer. Too bad. For her. Not me. I don't care about death predictions. Why is it that death is all we ever talk about in this barmy class? Why can't we sing? Well, I better go. I've got to get to some partner reading with Bridget. I've got about a page left, so I probably won't write until after the Quidditch match, or possibly right before. We'll see.

**30th of May, 3.16 in the Morning**

By some miracle, we actually won the match by twenty points! How it happened, I haven't a clue, but all of Gryffindor Tower was celebrating until McGonagall decided to ruin the fun. She's such a fun ruiner sometimes, honestly! Ah well. Sadly, even though we won, we still lost the House Cup. Slytherin beat us by 40 points. A bit of a disappointment, but we at least came in second this year. Certainly an improvement. And there's always seventh year to win it, yeah? I think I'd feel more accomplished winning the Cup in my final year of schooling. But that's simply my own opinion. Well, I just wanted to quickly write that. Congratulations, Lizzie self! I really need some sleep now... My pillow calls!

**1.24, Relaxing with the Gang **

It's break time from the blokes. And, sadly, this will likely be my last entry. There's hardly any room left to write, seeing as I've been doodling over the past month in here. Terrible doodles of landscapes and owls, but it was worth a shot, right? At least I know that I can definitely scratch off "artist" as a potential career. Well... I honestly don't know what else to write. There's so little I can think of. On top of being a little stressed about Quidditch, I've been worrying about final exams. Remus has been helping me a lot, though, in not just studying ways... If you catch my drift.

**1.27**

I just winked, so you know.

**1.28**

Well... Dearest, most beloved journal of mine, I must say that parting is such sweet sorrow. I will do my best to keep you in my possession and not lose you. (Though I can't promise that- my house is a black hole in which things disappear and reappear whenever they choose to do so.) In summary, I think this year has been quite wonderful. I do hope Remus and I make it through the summer and next year. Possibly longer- who knows? Always and forever yours. - Elizabeth P. Reynolds

**--------------------------------------**

**Well, my dears, this is the last "journal" chapter. And, technically, the end. HOWEVER, there will be an epilogue posted shortly. I just figured I would get this out. So, be on the lookout for an epilogue that will give you a glimpse into the futures of Remus and Lizzie! As always, the Harry Potter universe belongs to Jo Rowling. That which you don't recognize from that magical land likely belongs to me, or Monty Python. Depending. Thank you for reading (should you not care to read an epilogue) OR thank you for waiting for an epilogue. To everyone- thanks for being patient and tolerating my poor updating skills. Shout out to **_**Forest Archer**_** for a most excellent review which inspired me to just go for it and complete the last journaling chapter. Anyway, as per usual, ****I beg of you to **_**review, review, REVIEW**_**!!!! Yours.**


	31. Epilogue: I Love You Above All Things

_June 1992_

Remus Lupin moved about his former "home." Former because he had resigned from his post as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Things were a right mess, something he wasn't quite used to. Ever since his school days, he'd always been used to being surrounded by what a dear friend had once referred to as "organised chaos".

He sighed as he sifted through some parchments. Essays from students, really, that had yet to be returned to them. He supposed they wouldn't be getting them back, as the stack promptly found itself in the rubbish bin with an abundance of other school-related things.

_Remus, you're used to this._ That's what was getting him through the subtle but persistent pain that came with yet another job lost. The worst part was that he had rather enjoyed teaching. He'd never really considered it before, but he had come to find that it was something he was passionate about and found joy, albeit sometimes fleeting, in.

He turned to his trunk, at the moment a rather empty thing, deciding where he ought to put his rather pathetic and threadbare robe. He squatted, wrenching open the bottom drawer and would have been quite satisfied with where he placed the sorry excuse for fabric had he not noticed a small trunk.

"That's odd," Remus said to himself. His brow furrowed. He hadn't remembered it being there when he had first unpacked, but, in all honesty, he was more concerned about removing articles of clothing and books than he was about small, curious cases in the bottom drawer of his trunk. He pulled it out from its spot at the back of the drawer and placed it atop his desk. He lightly ran his hand over it, brushing away dust that had begun to gather on it. As soon as he did so, Remus instantly recognized the dark chestnut leather of a once very familiar thing.

He took a step back, regarding the small trunk hesitantly. He knew very well what it was, who it had belonged to, and had a fairly certain idea of what was inside it. Of all the memories from his tumultuous past that had wriggled themselves free from the fabric of things long since happened, this was one memory, or rather a collection of many, that he wasn't sure he was ready to revisit.

For much of the rest of the day, and well into the evening hours, the trunk remained on Remus' desk. What to many would appear to be a completely unoffending thing seemed to Remus more of the likes of a full moon, as far as full moons go for werewolves who didn't particularly care for their "situation".

_This is entirely silly, Remus. You shouldn't be afraid of an inanimate object! For Merlin's sake, you taught Defense Against the Dark Arts for a year. You've dealt with much worse than some bloody trunk_, he thought.

He pulled his desk chair back and took a seat, staring down the small trunk with worn handles and brushed brass buckles. He drummed his fingers anxiously against the arm of the chair, internally battling his desires to open the trunk that no doubt was full of familiar and beautiful things. And, although it took him the better part of an hour, he finally did resolve to just open the damn thing.

"It's just a trunk, Remus, stop acting like a fool," he said in an effort to prepare himself. Lot of good that did him because his hands clearly were shaking as they reached forward and lifted the latches which came with a pronounced click. He felt his stomach sink. Sure, the thing was open, but did he really want to lift the lid?

_To Hell with it_, he thought. _Why not delve into the past one last time- just for good measure? _

The lid moved back with a creak, causing Remus to wince. It was as though the thing was telling him he really wasn't ready to face its contents. That he needed more time. That even after all these long, lonely years, he still wasn't ready to accept what had happened.

He was relieved to find that at the top were photos, all featuring a happily bobbing and smiling Lizzie. He looked at the fading photos carefully. The first she was standing before the pyramids of Giza with an equally happy-looking Arab man who he knew to be the former Secretary of the Board of Antiquities of Ancient Egypt. The next she was in Greece, overlooking a Grecian sunset, the cerulean blue waters far below the balcony she leaned against. Then a trip to the United States, her face painted in red and blue, sitting in the stands amoungst her cousins at a Quidditch match. Then a trip to Peru, where she was wearing local clothing and perusing a marketplace, a journal he'd bought for her in hand. There were many more photos like these, all featuring a beaming Elizabeth Reynolds who, although at first glance didn't appear to be so, was an explorer and documenter to her very core.

She'd written many books, usually short, but he'd never been permitted to read them. And he abided by this rule because he feared what everyone had jokingly called the Wrath of Lizzie. He had, however, read a few of the articles she'd published in various journals and newspapers. He'd never told her how brilliant she was at writing, and he wasn't sure that, even if he had the chance, he could do it today. Remus shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts of regrets and mistakes he couldn't remedy.

The next layer was of small trinkets, each of different origin. There were writing utensils, arrowheads, beads, small whistles and pipes, pottery sherds, and jewellry. These things were of little consequence to him: he didn't know where they came from or why Lizzie had bought them. But somehow he knew that these odds and ends defined her, or rather were related to her in some way.

At the bottom, there were three small books. In between two of the books was a carefully folded letter. Before turning his attention to the parchment, he thumbed through the books. One was a sketchbook, full of small doodles and stuffed with photographs of places, people, and things. The next was a small, hard-bound journal, the one he'd bought for her travels to South America. The last was her journal- the one he knew all too well. The one she'd carried around with her all of sixth year. Its binding cracked as he opened it, and he was bombarded with an overwhelming draft of a distinctly Elizabeth scent that taunted his senses. He knew he shouldn't read it. Nor could he. He knew it would be far too much to bare. If he started, he wouldn't be able to stop. And once he had finished, he would be terribly sorry that he had started. He bit his lower lip and gently closed the old journal, placing it aside with the many other things that had been removed from the trunk.

Tenderly, Remus unfolded the letter. It was over a decade old, and he had no desire to have his guilt added to by accidentally ruining the most precious bit of parchment that existed on the Earth.

He took a deep breath before he began to read the letter.

_Dear Remus,_ it read. Her voice filled his thoughts, and he made no attempt to silence it.

_I hope this letter finds you well and in lovely spirits- mainly because you are indeed receiving a letter from me! I'm terribly sorry that I couldn't be in England at the moment, but Roman autumns are less snippy than English ones are!_

_Right, well, I hope that even though I missed Lily and James' anniversary dinner, you passed on my congratulations and best wishes to them which, by your incredible Sixth Sense of Knowing Lizzie-ness, you already knew I would want to convey. _

_In any case, I found this lovely little pan-flute type thing for Harry, the little bugger. Please assure Lily that the kid will not choke and die on it. It's completely young child-proof. (Trust me, if I didn't choke on one, there's no way a baby would... At least I don't think so...)_

_So, how're things? I feel bloody awful about you losing your job because of your "furry little problem". I truly wish I could be there for you, literally, as you have so often been there for me. I just want you to know that if I had any political prowess, even just an inkling, I would have become a politician who argues for the rights and acceptance of werewolves (and other such people). You know that, right? However, since I am as I am, I lack such skills. Ah, I digress. To get back on topic, __I promise__ that as soon as I'm back, we'll get to finding you the perfect career._

_Or, better yet, you could come travel with me! I'm thinking about writing a sequel to my book, (yes, I'm already considering the future possibilities- don't laugh!), which would mean another sojourn to Rome. I think you would find Rome quite beautiful, Remus. I know I certainly do. __And__, I know all the sites as though they were mapped out on the back of my hand! I think I'm definitely shaping up to be quite good Tour Guide potential... Do I see a future career on the horizon? (Pfft, yeah, right, and my mum's the Queen of England!)_

_Well, perhaps this news is a comfort to you: I'm almost done with this silly book of mine, and I expect to return to England in the month. Does that make you happy? I'm smiling like a barmy cow just thinking about it!_

_Ah, sadly, this letter must come to a close. Duty calls! Send my love to everyone (except Peter since he saw fit to cheat and take five galleons from me last time we played poker with him). Know that I love you above all things and that I miss you more with each passing day._

_Always, LR_

_PS: Don't feel as though you need to wait for me. Start job-hunting, maybe you'll find something you like without my help!_

Remus read and reread the letter several times, tears coming to his eyes and threatening to spill. After a time, Remus gently refolded the letter and placed it between the two books once again. He had intended to refill the trunk until he noticed the newspaper clippings that seemed pasted to the trunk's bottom. He passively glanced at one that lay in the very center, reading the headline. Immediately, Remus Lupin felt his stomach drop.

_Author Reynolds Found Dead in Home, Suspicious Circumstances._

His heart wrenched, or so he felt. He knew he shouldn't have read it. All the horrid memories came flooding back. It'd been a full moon the night she returned, so he couldn't see her. He was in hiding, somewhere remote and desolate, where he couldn't hurt anyone. He'd known she would understand. As daft as Lizzie could sometimes be, she always knew when the full moon was and when to just leave things to be as Remus wished. He had planned to see her at the Order meeting, the first one she'd be attending upon her return. The full moon passed and Remus returned to his own flat. A day of recovery later, Remus found himself approaching Headquarters, a smile on his face and a bounce in his step, eager to see her.

However, as the door opened and Remus was met with the solemn-faced James and a grim-looking Sirius, he knew something was wrong. His smile faltered. His bounce dropped.

Everything seemed to go by in a blur. James put his arm around Remus' shoulders and led him to a sofa. Sirius followed closely behind, muttering nonsense about Merlin knows what. It seemed everyone was gathered in the parlour, and they all turned to Remus when he entered the room. Lily, looking particularly distraught, was the first to approach him once he sat down. She knelt in front of him, took his hands in hers, bit her lip, and met his confused stare.

The look in her eyes was all he needed in order to know what had unfolded.

Remus blinked, attempting to bring himself back to reality. _Stop it_, he told himself firmly. He didn't want to revisit that. He couldn't. He knew the horrid truth. He hadn't been there for her. Had he just gone to her house, even if it were just for dusk, he could have prevented everything. Merlin knows, he could be at a cozy home right now, sitting next to her while she worked on another book.

However, since the world hadn't worked in such ways, he wasn't. For days, weeks, months after what had happened, Remus had been consumed in loneliness and despair. He put on a front for his mates, sure. They couldn't see how distressed he really was. Lily knew. He could always tell by the way she looked at him. She knew what Lizzie had meant to him. Lily understood that to have Lizzie quite literally torn out of his life so suddenly was difficult, but she also knew he had no desire to talk about it. Not to anyone. Not Lily, nor James, nor Sirius. Not even his own parents.

Remus stood, the chair scratching the floorboards beneath it as he did so. Furiously, he looked again at the bottom of the trunk. He couldn't help himself. He knew that if he didn't finish what he'd begun, he would toil about it for months.

_Investigators Say Reynolds' Death Possibly by Muggle Murderer._

_Reynolds Family Grieves Loss of Only Daughter._

_Reynolds' Body Autopsy Results Lead to Confirmation of Torture Pre-Mortum._

_Reynolds' Books Flying Off the Shelves._

_Reynolds Murdered by Death Eaters, Says Order._

_Further Investigations Confirm Death Eater Involvement in Reynolds' Murder._

_Suspects Named in Reynolds' Murder: Lestrange and Rosier._

_Many Wonder Why Efforts Were Made to Make the Reynolds Murder Appear to be Muggle._

_Reynolds: A Martyr of Our Times? Her Life and Legacy._

_No One Brought to Trial for Reynolds' Murder._

_Memorial Service to be Held Saturday at One O'Clock._

What Remus had found the most torturous of the whole ordeal was that the press had a field day and pounced upon Elizabeth's untimely death as lions in a den would if a prime cut of meat were thrown at them. Even months after she was murdered, there were still articles being published about her. He hated opening his paper in the morning to find gruesome images and detailed articles that only served to remind him of what he hadn't done. He had worked so hard to protect her from himself that he had forgotten to protect her from the real threat.

He couldn't take it anymore. Remus quickly replaced everything he had removed from the trunk to where he had found it. He slammed the lid shut and urgently pulled the latches down, locking away the past once more.

He knew what he had to do with the trunk. He couldn't possibly keep it. No, he had to give it to someone who would take good care of it and not be terrified to open it and shuffle through its contents every now and then. Remus hurried down the corridors, his footsteps echoing off the walls. He stopped in front of a large, wooden door, banging loudly on it, hoping Minerva was still awake.

The woman opened the door, "Oh, Remus!" She tugged at her night cap. "I, er, what can I do for you at this hour?"

"I need you to keep something for me."

"Oh?" She glanced down at the small trunk he held in his hands. He offered it to her.

"Please, Minerva. It was Elizabeth's."

At that, she looked up at Remus, shocked to learn of the trunk's owner.

"You were her favourite professor. I know you two were close," Remus trailed off, shifting his weight anxiously. "Please," he begged.

"Of course I'll keep it for you, Remus," Minerva said softly, gingerly taking the trunk from him.

"Thank you," he said in a hushed tone before turning to leave. Minerva stared after him for a time before returning to her chambers.

Remus stopped, sitting down on a stair. He cradled his head in his hands. To his great dismay, Lizzie's voice quietly echoed in his thoughts.

_Don't feel as though you need to wait for me._

Startled, Remus stood and hurried back to his room. He needed to rest. He had a few books left to pack, and he wanted to get a good night's sleep as soon as he had done that.

As he shifted under his covers, her voice once again came to mind.

_Don't feel as though you need to wait for me._

He sighed in defeat. He knew he couldn't hold onto her any longer. He had loved her with every fiber of his being, yes, but she wasn't going to come back. Elizabeth Reynolds was dead. She'd died over a decade ago. He should've been over it by know. Yes, he missed Lily and James dearly, but he wasn't_ plagued_ by memories of them as he was of her!

Remus knew he wouldn't get much sleep fretting over it, so he decided to just think it through as he lay in bed. Upon reflection, Lizzie's letter, at least certain parts of it, held true today. He was once again unemployed, somewhat due to discrimination against his kind. His "Sixth Sense of Lizzie-ness" seemed to have magically reappeared in the span of a few hours. And he knew that she had loved him with all of her heart, and, were she alive, she probably still would.

However, he realized that the time had come to move on. He couldn't spend the rest of his life ignoring his past. So many aspects of it had arisen again in the past year, what with his return to Hogwarts, Harry, Sirius, and Peter (the rat). He likely should have moved on a long time ago, as he had done when James and Lily were killed, when Peter had disappeared, and Sirius had been thrown into Azkaban. But it seemed that losing Elizabeth had been so much greater than all of those losses combined.

_Don't feel as though you need to wait for me._

The first line of her postscript haunted him. Perhaps at the time she had meant it one way. But now it was a reassurance and an encouragement. She would always be waiting for him, somewhere. He couldn't wait for her when she was the one who could only do the waiting.

_Don't feel as though you need to wait for me._

Remus realized he didn't need to wait any longer. He was free. He was alive and well. Perhaps not the happiest person in the world, but he couldn't ask for more than what he had in this life right now.

He loved her. He would never let her go, he knew, but he didn't have to wait any longer. If anything, he was the one who was far behind. He needed to catch up.

Remus let out a deep breath, rolled over onto his side and closed his eyes, hoping for peace and a new beginning in the morning.

**--------------------------------------**

**And there it is, my most beloved readers. The epilogue. If it was a disappointment, I'm terribly sorry, and I beg of you not to judge the rest of the story based upon your dislike of the epilogue. If you liked it, thank you. It took a lot of time and work, but it's honestly just the way I've imagined it to be these many, many months writing the story. Usually, I show no emotion whatsoever when I write, or even when I'm reading my works, as odd as that may seem. But this chapter, both writing and reading it over again, brought tears to my eyes. :( I want you all to rest assured that the years Remus and Lizzie were together before her death were wonderfully blissful. Lizzie was her barmy self, and Remus was just happy to be with her. Lizzie did become an animagus, however Remus was never truly comfortable allowing her to stay with him during his transformations. Elizabeth enjoyed great success as an author, and, no, her published books were not as crazy as her journal entries! As it were, this is the end of their story. I won't be writing a sequel documenting Lizzie's seventh year or her world travels, as some of you have asked for-- I'm sorry!!! I will, however, be continuing to add delightfully barmy characters to the Harry Potter universe (created by JK Rowling who I love and adore). As always, **_**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!**_** Let me know what you thought- any criticisms or lauds. I must say it's been amazing writing this story, and the reviews and faithful readers have made this experience absolutely amazing. I love you all and owe you many, many thanks for reading "True Confessions". It means a lot that so many people have returned to this story despite my terrible skills at updating in a timely manner. Thank you for everything, dearest readers! Most humbly yours.**


	32. Most Affectionately Yours, Elizabeth

_June 1977_

Dear World,

Hello, it's me, the one and only Elizabeth Reynolds. And I've just graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. How do you feel about that?

Yeah, I figured you were a bit intimidated. You've got the likes of me free to roam around now, don't you? Tad frightening. If you were Peter Pettigrew, you would've wet yourself, much like he did after that amazing Shrine Hunt.

And not only have I completed my schooling, I'm also a registered animagus. Which, I must say, is bloody wicked.

Even my boyfriend of a little over a year agrees, and he doesn't usually find such things to be relevant in the very least. But you know what, World? I love him. Because he accepts me for the barmy human being I truly am.

I'll have you know that he's the reason why I will shortly be going out and exploring you properly, hopefully writing about my travels and getting published. Who's "he"? Remus Lupin, obviously. Quite possibly the love of my life, but it might be a tad early for that. He still hasn't seen Monty Python, you know, yet I'll occasionally catch him singing "Fetchez La Vache: The Song."

You're welcome, by the way. Pure brilliance, that song. And that isn't just me being stuck-up about it, or compensating, or what have you.

Sadly, I realise that this letter will never reach you, World, because it's stuck inside my seventh year journal. But perhaps one day down the road, a descendant of mine or someone will read this and think to themselves, "Wow, my ancestor Elizabeth Reynolds was quite the amazing person."

Which I am.

Anywuggles, I'm just attempting to fill up the last few pages here. As it were, when I went to buy a new journal before the start of term last summer, I picked a journal that had a few too many pages. That, or I ended up documenting much less of my seventh year than I had anticipated. (Unlikely.) So, here I am, blithering on about this and that.

And there you are, World, wondering why I insist on being so ridiculous and mad all the time. Well, I don't have an answer for you, so ha.

Just letting you know, I'm in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express for the very last time with aforementioned boyfriend, Sirius Black (who really isn't a prat all the time, I'll have you know), James Potter and his girlfriend (finally!)/one of my best mates Lily Evans, Bridget Jane and Anne Mackey (my other two best mates), and the ever disgusting yet impossibly entertaining Peter Pettigrew.

Sadly, I have no bloody idea what I'm going to do without these people around me everyday. It's going to be quite difficult.

Well, I won't miss Peter at all. He's a little twat.

I'm sorry, Descendant Who Is Reading This/World. That wasn't very nice. It isn't right to use language like that. Don't run off and tell your Mum you learned a new world from Lizzie, alright?

Right, well, I'll refrain from using such vile and vulgar language from now on.

The whole lot of them have started up a game of Exploding Snap, the card game I love to hate. While I do have a fear of evil paper cuts from the cards, it is somewhat entrancing. Bit of a predicament, eh? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. ... The rock clearly being playing Exploding Snap and the hard place the fear of paper cuts. Yes, well, glad we cleared that one up.

So, World dearest, whatever do you suggest I do when I start off exploring you? I was thinking I'd perhaps backpack, like a muggle, you know, around Britain. I read in Muggle Studies that it's a popular thing to do. And in History of Magic, that bloody ghost actually talked about the Roman Great Wall of Hadrian, or something of the sort. Sounds fascinating. Perhaps I'd find some Runes or something to translate. Though I doubt it.

Speaking of Roman, I was thinking a trip to Italy might be nice. I hear the food's great. And, from the photographs I've seen, the men aren't exactly hard on the eyes either. Not that I should be concerning myself with that, since I am dating the most wonderful bloke.

Said bloke is currently giving me that "Lizzie, why must you spend this momentous occasion writing in that silly journal of yours even though I secretly love when you write because that means you peer at me from over the top of your journal and it's really quite hot when you do that?" look.

Quite the look.

Sigh. He is a fabulous man-bloke, you know. I don't think I could've found a better one.

That's quite enough of that silly romance stuff, though. I don't want to tire you with that, especially seeing as I am finally on the last page of my journal.

Thank Merlin.

Not that I don't love my journal, mind you. Because I do. It's second in my heart after Mr Lupin who's tied with my parents. So I suppose that really means that this journal is in third. But that's still pretty high up there on the List of Things That Are Important to Lizzie.

But enough of that, World. You don't need to be bored by my silly ramblings. Not in this letter. No, you'll have plenty of books to be bored with. Except you won't be bored, because they're going to be the best adventure books ever published in the wizarding world. Which I suppose is a part of you, since you contain both the wizarding and muggle-ing world.

How fortunate! Not only do you have access to magic that I probably can't even comprehend, but you get muggle tevelisions and Monty Python too. I'm quite jealous, World. Quite jealous, indeed.

Well, it is now I must bid thee adieu, as I am almost out of space to even sign my name. And, since this is a letter signaling the end of my school years and my dive into the "real world", I have to close it properly with just the right amount of pomp and circumstance. So, here it goes.

I will see you soon.

Most Affectionately Yours,

_Elizabeth P. Reynolds_

Former Spaz Goddess, Her Royal Hotness, and Girlfriend of R. J. Lupin

* * *

**So, I lied. I decided to add a little something to this after almost a year has passed since I finished **_**Confessions**_**. You see, I missed Lizzie just as much as everyone else, though I didn't want to admit it. Anyway, I figured I'd write this up and post it after the epilogue as a final "hoorah", as I myself am about to go off into a new chapter of my life, and it's really quite exciting. I hope I managed to capture the Lizzie you all love, only she's a year older than she was when we last heard from her. Surely you know by now that J.K. Rowling owns **_**Harry Potter**_**, and I really own only Elizabeth, as mental as she may be. **_**Review**_** or not, I don't care (though it would still mean a lot if you did). Most humbly yours, SAS.**


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